The Existing Money System and Debt

Posted: January 28, 2011 in Uncategorized

Jan 27/11

DEBT…DEBT… is a huge theme in my life.  I despise the existing money system, not just because of my own experience but because of what I see everywhere on this earth. The dramatic/obvious polarity of rich/poor   haves/have nots’   better than/less than  “And Don’t you Forget It…well, we won’t let you forget it” because its in your face constantly in the ‘modern’ world. Plastered on large billboards, in every magazine, tv commercials, newspapers–advertisements for ‘things’ expensive things that will supposedly make you feel good about yourself.  A never ending orgy…the unquenchable thirst Jesus talked about.  It’s insidious, this wanting, and it does not satisfy, not for long.

In the existing money system I have been fairly comfortable, successful. I understand I had all the ‘advantages’ therefore it was not too difficult to be” a good little system”…cog in the wheel. I grew up seeing my father go to work everyday, my mom looked after the kids and my father provided. We were told if you get a good education, work hard you will do well. This seemed to be the case. My parents could afford to send their children to university  , I made as much as I could-in the off months- for spending money, books but I was under no stress financially so had the time to do well in my studies , had enough money to take a ski trip to Vermont when I was at university-twice. My parents owned a lovely little cottage(not much)  ‘up north’ in Ontario I could escape to when needed-uh…more honestly party with crazy drinking friends. They-my parents- had a strong work ethic, you were expected to study hard, work hard…harder you work= more successful you’ll be= more money you’ll make.

I often questioned the value of all the facts I had to memorize-just to spew them out on a paper at exam time and forget them.  But, if it got me the passing grade..diploma..lead to job, I believed it was the correct route ‘thing’ to do.

So, I became a system within the bigger system (commercial sales rep. for large firm) in Toronto. All well and good, if you keep working=making money or marry the ‘right’ guy=he makes the money for you-and then you just make as much and accumulate as much as possible in a certain time frame.  The new ‘thing’ seems to be freedom 55-and then you  retire-with a big sigh,’ah, I made it’.

I  never really ‘got’ it. To me it seemed like ‘what? So whats the big prize? I get to grow old and die? then what?’ What was the point? Should I just get by. Not try to be the best I can be=care about the big picture and all humanity? Apparently,  I’m not suppose to ask because its sacred or ‘you can’t change it anyway’.  Perhaps, I’ll live another life but I won’t remember this one, whats the point of that.? SO YOU JUST GET BY/EXIST=GO TO WORK AND SHUT UP- IGNORING WHATS WRONG IN THIS WORLD-FOR SELF INTEREST AND DON’T ASK ANY QUESTIONS. It seemed to me people got very upset when I questioned the sanity/point of this. Get/Stay with the ‘REAL’ world.  ‘Its sad and becomes pathetic that you stay home and write music, and it embarrasses us.’

However, everyone is so darn friendly, respectful, helpful when you’re paying your bills. But beware, if you become a debtor, love and goodwill get turned on their heads…even those who ‘love’ you turn against you if you ‘owe’ them money and are unable to pay, at that time=agreed upon payment plan.  Again, apparently, this is acceptable-to abandon- because you have not ‘paid them back’.  Never happened to me but this abandonment is acceptable even to the point of letting one be on the street on a cold night-and in Toronto it’s cold indeed. People freeze to death! No matter, yes, you can feel bad for them but hurry up and get to work so it doesn’t happen to you or your family.

Note: this topic seems huge, complicated to me and obviously pushes my buttons…creates alot of energy inside of me in the form of emotions: anger-I can actually feel it intensify.

so…I will use the kiss principal. keep it simple stupid, and wrap it up.

There is alot of anxiety, guilt built up over time to those you owe money to. The heavy guilt/feeling less than, turns to resentment and anger, which fuel stronger feelings of guilt-these people helped you when you were down. Its not their fault you can’t pay them back on time.

Interestingly, I managed to have a still mind yesterday. This morning, my mind was in full fighting mode, many dreams of humiliation about the ‘rich’ people I know filling me with terror of being ‘poor’/’less than’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience guilt/feelings of less than about owing money. I am one and equal to those I owe money to and all of humanity.

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