Self Trust & Common Sence

Posted: February 12, 2011 in Uncategorized

I am feeling overwhelmed again. Learning many new things about who I am in this world and gaining insight/answers about questions I have had, for example, if what I see in this picture reality is not real, then what is real? This is occurring for me through my studies with the ‘Desteni I Process’ course.

It is fascinating to learn, even in my limited understanding at this point, that I have ‘taught’ myself to ‘see’ myself-through mind interpretation- as separate to all that exist. This creates a very limited existance,  basically powerlessness.

I have had experiences that do not fit into the ‘norm’. Miraculous, unexplainable occurances which I filed under ‘a higher power/God’ because I had no other way to ‘live’ sanely with it. However, the one thing that drove me to question more/search further was ‘common sense’  or TRUSTING MYSELF  that it was ‘ok’ to do so.

‘It’, the unexplainable, was not sacred/to be never questioned/above me. One thing I always told myself is “I don’t want a mystery”. Like what happens when I die? Why is that sacred, why is it wrong to question this design of ‘death’? That is a power over me , I  lack control, I age and die, I am trapped, helpless, a victim again and again to the ‘end’. If you question, you could get zapped. Well, my common sense shouted at me, I’m going to get zapped anyway in about 20 years or so when I ‘die’ so I’ll take my chances and stand up and ask /research/investigate now… Low and behold when I told the ‘boogyman’  ‘go away, you are not welcome here!’ it did, immediately!

Taking the first course at Desteni is helping me validate myself. Yes, I can trust myself, my process (even though I am often muddled, in my mind when I first learn something new).

One of the reasons I couldn’t put aside my experience of the ‘unexplainable’ , get back on my feet, and then go back into ‘society’, the way it is set up is; I thought, ‘what a horrible fate for many, this design is no good, many people will be left with suicide as the only option….and God knows what they have to face after that” Specifically, this was my common sence reaction to my experience of ‘losing my mind’/hearing voices. I never went to a doctor but I’m sure I would have been diagnosed ‘schizophrenic’. By stopping the mind/thoughts, I stopped the insanity  (DOES ANYONE EVER TELL PEOPLE THIS OR DO THEY JUST PERSCRIBE ani-psychotic drugs which disempowers one further?)

I totally ‘get’ why many innocent people kill themselves from this experience….what ‘loving God’ designed that? Well, whatever vague answer I was offered, my common sense says, ‘that’s no good, we need to change that so it doesn’t occur anymore to innocent human beings, so people know what’s happening to them and can easily correct it.’

STOP THE MIND (THOUGHTS/FEELINGS/EMOTIONS)….VOILA….THE VOICES ARE STOPPED

Also, looking at the general state of our planet and human beings, my common sense told me it was not acceptable or getting better.   Yes, there are small ways we can contribute to the suffering and needy but it results in no significant or lasting change. We are brought back to self interest/survival again  and again through the way the money system is set up. I hear often ‘you can’t change the system’.

No I can’t, but WE can…one vote at a time.

Common sense said, ‘you can get a regular job, and get lost in world systems again, or you can STOP…find out who you really are, what’s going on here?’

It seems there are several ‘reasons’ why the world cannot be changed. At each one, I have 2 choices :  I can sigh, pick up my sword again, and behave like fighting for my survival and the survival of my children is my only ‘hope’ for safety in this world. So I leave the world the way I found it. My being here contributed nothing in a lasting /significant way to change the experience of human beings on this planet.

OR   I  can lay down my sword and  LISTEN TO MY COMMON SENSE , WHICH ALWAYS TAKES  ME FURTHER –AND IS ACTED ON THROUGH SELF TRUST…and question/investigate , take one step at a time toward lasting change.

Otherwise,  I am left with; what is the point of this?   answer; we don’t really know…we ‘hope’ there is a point…some loving ‘father/God’ who will explain in ‘heaven’.  oooops…or maybe not…

It was the ‘maybe not’ part that got me.  I don’t want to ignore suffering human beings.

I don’t want to go to a therapist who cost $200 /hour to bring to the surface my ‘feelings’. (Note: I understand therapy is necessary sometimes)

Ya, well, try starving, how does that feel?  I feel disgust, astonishment that we can ignore this ! I dont’ want someone to ‘help’ me ‘get over’ this. A therapist to help me change my reaction to this because I am ‘privileged’ and I need to learn to accept this without guilt, buy another vacation property and smash my very expensive dishes in a childish outburst because I am learning to express my anger freely.  New age crap. Pretty simple-selfish to the extreme.

I trust myself more now, I trust my common sense more now. I will continue to follow my common sense and I am grateful to Desteni for a practical ‘way’/ path in which to do so.

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