Comparison; woman against woman

Posted: March 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

I have always compared myself to other women and obsessed about those I fear I ‘fall short’ of. I always assumed they wouldn’t be interested in a friendship with me-me being ‘inferior’ to them. I was always ‘suspicious’ of them. They could take something away from me, this ususally meant attention; rob my needy ego from being stroked at a social gathering, a job=money, my man=sex/money.

Another ‘group’ of women that particularily ‘bothered me’ was the -what I referred to as- very shapely, emotional woman-ultra feminine- in need of protection-a woman that cries easily and often. I have been very suspicious of her, assuming her tears are a performance. Perhaps at times they are manipulative and she is not to be trusted. Again, I am definately threatened by our physical and emotional ‘difference’ and fear loosing my man=money. Fear of survival.

My daughter and step-daughter have taught me alot about this issue, as they both express their tears in the moment, they are for the most part, not about a past issue but expressing in self honestly what and who they are in the moment.

Another woman I fear and dislike is the beautiful and funny/smart woman…you know its funny, a post I received from the vlog I did 2 days ago suggested to include the solution and here it is again.   It is , surprisingly enough to me , the same solution…equal money!

(Of course having a very well paying career/financial independence is also a commonly referred to solution but….I did have this and circumstances led me back to dependency again…also many women don’t ever have the opportunity to create financial independence).

All of this fear of women, in the form of comparison, jealously, suspicion, feeling of inferiority are all based on fear of loss/survival=money. If they take my bread ticket, which is my man/job, how will I and my children survive?

Equal money removes my dependency on another for the necessities of life to survive and my reliance on society to provide fair pay for work provided and security should I not be able to work.

I am learning a great deal about living breath by breath one and equal to all men, women, nature and the animal kingdom. I am slowly putting down my sword and shield and forgiving myself for such utter separation and realizing I have no reason to fear another woman (any being) as I and her are one and equal. It will take time to bring about an equal money system, patience and we walk this path one breath at a time until it is done. Thank you Desteni.

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