Sport: Competition Destroys the Self Esteem of large majority of our children

Posted: May 31, 2011 in Uncategorized

I know, I wish it wasn`t true but it is.  I know, again, there are those few who excell…they have a natural born `gift`=DNA  and every sport they touch they are a `star`. That`s great, for them but I propose they can get the same benefits-exercise, fun, team learning etc. through just participating without competition, prizes, declaring and rewarding who`s  `best` `the winner`, gets a trophy and money and possibly,eventually wealth, presteige and all that comes with it. Get over it , its a game! are we that shallow….I`m afraid the answer is yes.

Just to clarify, I do understand both sides as my brother was an incredible athlete and played pro-football in Canada and U.S. for 6 years , and he told me of the several negatives about this life. So, I actually think eliminating the competetive mind set is best for all humanity.

There are 3 examples I recall that devastated me, changed me `forever`directly related to this . First I remember in primary school being a very good runner, but not the best, i would always get to the `finals` in school competition meets but not win, get the ribbon. I recall hearing my father say, `Sandy always tries so hard, even though she knows she won`t win`. That memory has stayed with me my whole life and I certainly have lived up-or down-to it. Nope, didn`t disappoint there. I was sooo humiliated loosing that race. I felt it-the humiliation-flow through me like a river from head to toe.

Next, I recall, again in grade school, loving swimming. Being in the water was a joy and I loved the feeling and speed of swimming  fast laps. I was recruited for the swim team and at the first meet, not only did I not win, I came in last , and was crying into my parents arms. I felt devastated, like a complete failure and like I let the team down.  I recall seeing the coaches face-extreme disappointment,disgust–he never spoke a word to me again . Imagine, what a complete a-hole the man was to treat a child that way!  I quit and really didn`t swim much after that .  Sadly, that experience coupled with ego-didn`t wanat to ruin my hair, make-up, and wore contact lenses -was the end to the joy of movement in the water.

Lastly, in middle school, I was pretty good at gymnastics, loved it. However, some of us are good at remembering routines and others not.  So , once again I made some team and then messed up in the competitive meets when I`d forget my routine. Same feelings of shame, failure BUT one time , I outsmarted society by spontaneously continuing….making it up as I went along.  Now that was fun and I excelled at it.  Ooooo success, praise, but I never told anyone. Never made any teams in high school. It was always the same small group of èlite`girls who make all the teams, got the lead in the plays, were `popular`. Oh god, I hated high school. Makes me sick to thing about it.

It did show me that I was better to express myself in the moment-and if I did it really honestly, not thinking, just moving  and expressing, it was `good` or I `passed` received rewards. Today I know if I try to learn dance steps…it becomes (for me) a drag and when I dance freely , I love it and can dance for hours.

In an equal money system, all children would be treated equally, all given the same opportunities to freely express themselves without the focus on ego, judgement of better than, stronger,  faster, winner , looser, beautiful, ugly, etc. This includes the ego of the teachers not interfering with the children`s expression of who they are in that moment. Would it be perfect, all at once. common sense says no. It will take time to bring heaven to earth…what else do you have to do that could compare in importance. Find out who you are, what you are, what the hell happened here and how we can practically change it starting today, with you! Join us at EqualMoney.Org.

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