Self Forgiveness: Self Sabotage: the point of inferiority

Posted: September 21, 2011 in Uncategorized
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The subject and actual  doing of the task of self forgiveness can seem overwhelming. One of the ways the ego uses self sabotage is to bring up self defeating thoughts  in your mind, ‘OMG, I’m a mess, a disaster, where do I start, I can’t possible cover everything, it’s impossible, too big for me’ and so one can feel exhausted and acutally fall on a point of self forgiveness before one even attempt to stand. The ego is a tricky, sly little devil, just writing those ‘excuses’ out I feel depleted, tierd. This is the ego’s way of using energy to drain you before you even begin! Good news, you don’t need/require energy, all you need is breath. Even better, you don’t need to hesitate with thoughts, so let’s  just breath and continue…er… begin.

I will take this exercise as a living example here and now: Sandy, write about self sabotage as how it relates to self forgiveness. Do this as a living document as what is best for all, to eleminate/kill the ego so we may all transend the ego and become Self As Life versus Self As Ego.

Thoughts: ‘Huh, me? Well the others can do it better, they’ve been members of Desteni for 2-3-4 years and I only just joined about 10 months ago. I’ll let them do it’ The sabotage: my ego is winning, speaking as thougths in my mind, loud and clear. My ego is giving me an ‘out’ by using the fear of ‘not being good enough’ /inferior/fear of failure- risk of rejection/losing the support of Desteni. Result: I, as one being of the whole, do not contribute what I have learned, my individual experience will be missing, as  part of the whole. I do not change but remain stuck in a timeloop, having to face this point  of being less than (in this case, less experienced) as an excuse to not participate fully in/as a solution for the world’s current condition but remain part of the problem.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to think I have less to offer in a Book on Self Forgiveness than others at Desteni because I have less experience.  Note: I always forgive: the thought, believing the thought and  having the thought exist within/as me as real so…  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the thought that I have less to offer in a Book on Self Forgiveness than others at Desteni because I have less experience. And, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought’ I have less to offer in a Book on Self Forgiveness than others at Desteni because I have less experience’ to exist within and as me as real.

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