Posts Tagged ‘childbirth’

This quote is taken from ‘BC Health Link’ online updated May 24, 2010:

‘At 1 month of age, infants express their feelings with alert, widened eyes and a rounded mouth…’

I recall that with my own children, almost like a fish, the little round mouth, opening and closing. I wonder why babies have that expression as their first and why it disappears? Interesting.

During this time it is important to feed your baby on demand, you’ll know, lol! So when baby is crying do not ignore, even if they were just fed. If their belly is full, there is something else baby needs. Pick up your child, perhaps baby needs a diaper change or your touch and comfort.

This is paramount to social development to assist your child to feel safe, assured that, at this time when they are completely dependent upon you for survival, you are there and they will build trust in you and trust within self, that what they need is available, this world is a safe place for them to be. They can then be relaxed and get the rest they need and be aware of their surroundings increasingly.

When baby is sleeping best to leave it that way! Often, with the arrival of a new life, friends and relatives come over to meet baby. It is important that you ask them to wait until baby wakes or just let them have a quick peek into the nursery. Would you want to be ‘picked up’ if you were asleep? No, you’d be understandably pissed off! Of course, there are times when you must pick up your baby and perhaps ‘go home’ if you are out. However, your child will need this time to rest and you will need it to also rest or get the million things done that you have not had time for since the arrival of baby.

I am not convinced that breast feeding is the ‘best’ and only way we can nourish a new life. It is, at this time on earth, the optimal choice as it is ‘free’ and ‘easy’ as it requires no bottles or preparation. I was able to breastfeed without any of the ‘problems’ many women face. However, it was physically tiring and required me to to very aware of my liquid and solid intake. It is easy to get dehydrated and ‘weak’ and exhausted during this process.

Many women have no choice but to work outside the home (I did not), even with the arrival of a new baby, so sometimes it is impossible to breastfeed.

If I was to go back in time and ‘do it all again’ I would see what thoughts arise about my ‘energy level’ how tired I am, how it seems overwhelming to breastfeed and deal with the baby and all the other commitments and details of my life. I would apply  Self-Forgiveness (see: Desteni.Org/DesteniIProcess.Com) and write out a Self- Corrective Applications  for each thought.

This could be part of a pre-natal educational course as , although you and your baby are ‘unique’ individuals, there are certain predictable behaviors and thoughts that will arise upon the arrival of baby. One can be prepared by having these statements ready to be read aloud until the time that they become fully integrated in and as you.

This will have a huge impact on your babies social development because you are so close, your impact and influence is so great on who your child will become thus the more you are relaxed, trust yourself and this new experience the better. Specifically do not develop thought patterns that are destructive and can often lead to depression, anxiety through becoming overwhelmed, this is passed onto your baby through your constant, close interaction and your breast milk. You are the example. Exemplify!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to agree to the cycles of birth and death whereby I create new beings and enslave myself and them, to the worlds systems  and to the suppression of ourselves as expressions of life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to marry and have children so as to keep busy by adding to the mind consciousnesses systems of the family and money, creating new life to feed into this system of supposed economic growth which is deleting planet earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to agree to forget that I am being recycled into infinity, never remembering who I was in a past life and thereby never being part of the solution here on earth to our destructive, selfish, `human`nature, letting millions suffer because I am only to be concerned with the well being of myself and my little unit=family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as a reproductive unit and not life and be concerned with marrying and having children and not even getting to know who and what I am as life and having almost no time (or money) to explore my unlimited true nature as life, only being obsessed with how my hair, makeup, clothing look to attract a mate, believing I have to ‘look a certain way’ to be worthy/deserving of another’s companionship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to agree to a system of menstration, in which I bleed and suffer horrible cramping , each and every month since I was 13 years old, getting blood all over my clothing and bedding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to now endure the system of men-o-pause in which I am shutting down the reproductive part of my body, as if I am now expendable and not valued as life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to endure horrid hot flashes=night and day, sweats that make it impossible to get a good rest at night and making me tired and less productive or  able to enjoy my days.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go through this process of menopause and not be able to enjoy and make good use of time, now that my children are independent.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to notice changes in my physical body; wrinkles, sagging skin on my legs, greying hair indicating I am on my way out/dying slowly but surely and to spend time fussing and covering up my physicality instead of being life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  be possessed with thoughts, directed by fear, that I am expendable, diminishing,  busy aging and dying and not living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by defeat, helplessness, hopelessness, fear, anxiety, shame, regret in thinking I shouldn’t bother writing music, it’s too late for me, I better shut up so I don’t piss my husband off, I need his money to survive, I better not piss off my children, I may want or need their company or assistance in the future as I age.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear in thinking I am getting ugly and old and old people are shut away because it’s depressing to look at death in the face.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear and anxiety in thinking I should have plastic surgery, exercise, loose weight, color my hair, dress fashionable, so I am still valuable to my husband, as he will still want me for sex, or if he dumps me I still need to seduce another man so I better not ‘let myself go’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as old/older and continually comparing and compartmentalizing myself and others in accordance to age.

Realizations:  I realize I can be patient with myself as I learn and understand what I have agreed to and from this point on, participate in a new agreement with existence.

Self-Corrective Application:  I no longer accept and allow myself to suffocate my creativity and movement as me in each moment.   I no longer accept and allow a society/world that values youth only and it is acceptable for someone who is ‘young’ to be supported to grow and create but not an older person because of an assigned number which represents time accumulating in this world. I no longer accept and allow myself to think it is ok for a being to suffer and diminish in their physicality in this world but am in a process of investigation and discovery how we can come and go here in each moment of breath and not be slave to the construct of time and the mind of fear of death.

Whenever I am directed by fear, through the mind’s design of ego, that I am limited in anyway, but specifically in relation to living one and equal to my human physical body unconditionally (understanding it is a process I am in) I stop, I breathe. I remind myself again to be patient in my process of remaining here in each moment of breath and I bring myself out of my mind of polarities and alternate realities and back to what is real in the physical. I remind myself to be grateful for my day and get on with the task at hand.

Being pregnant is difficult in the best of circumstances.  I realize there are women who breeze through this experience but for most of us regular shmucks it’s a very trying time on many fronts. I recall with my second pregnancy, thinking I must have cancer (not to be insensitive to anyone who’s life has been affected by cancer) because within the first 2 or 3 weeks I was literally exhausted and felt very ill.  I did not consider I was pregnant at the time for several reasons. It hit me like a truck and I spent alot of time in bed. Now, at that time I lived in a lovely neighbourhood, owned a home and good vehicle and though my husband and I did not have alot extra, we had a wonderful life. I was a stay at home mom to my 2 year old daughter.

I live in Canada which provides an excellent health care system. I did not have to work, (although looking after a 2 year old is work) not outside the home anyway. I had all doctor appointments, exams paid for, all hospital fees were taken care of ; doctor, delivery room and staff, any drugs, emergency surgery (C-section with my first born) and 3 days in the hospital.  In Canada perscription drugs are not provided for free but I recall I did not take anything stronger than an asprin occasionally during pregnancy anyhow. Just a note, it was not through any great discipline on  my part, I did not drink at all and smoked very little because I felt  sooooo sick for the first 3 months with both my kids and then 4-9months I was used to this routine so it was easy to keep up.

Throughout both of my pregnancies, my second I used a midwife, (there was a fee but it was not much) anyone I saw, as a patient, treated me with the utmost respect, gave me their undivided attention, time, sincere concern, and advice. I never felt looked down upon or unimportant. Good thing too, it’s a very vulnerable position to be in, for anyone! It is also an emotional and frightening time for a woman, her body is changing rapidly and she has to be concerned about another life , in the immediate moment and for several years to come, yikes!  Yes, woman need much TLC during this time, I say this in all honestly and sincerity.

Well, I went through all of that for a reason, to give you a picture, in stark comparison, to the reality hundreds of thousands of pregnant women face each year.  I was aghast, sadly not surprised, to read about some of the horrors poor, pregnant women face in the  vast slums of Nairobi. When some of these women were asked about their major concerns, two things emerged.  One, the poor treatment they received from healthcare workers , due to the stigma of  ‘poor’ branded on these women and the harsh reality of the necessity to earn income outside of the home.

In an article taken from ‘The Standard’, a Nairobi online newpaper, written by Michael Oriedo,  March30,2011,   “The African Population and Health Research Centre (APHRC) study says poor women shun modern maternity and delivery services, not because they do not have money, but because they suffer poor treatment at the facilities .The study finds that some health providers are not charitable towards poor pregnant women, often abandoning them or ignoring them when they visit health center and hospitals.”   So these women often turn to local midwives who are affordable and give them the  time and respectful service they deserve -as a human being-and to the unborn human being she is carrying!  This is not to suggest the midwife is inferior to the traditional medical doctor/nurse in any way, but one should not have to go without necessary treatment and seek out an alternative, which could take weeks and have financial costs, when there are already, at a facility, capable practitioners in attendance.

It is no longer acceptable to me to not speak out, I do not condone this behaviour from other human beings any longer. These women are equal to the richest of pregnant women anywhere in this world and must be treated as such. They are indeed life as is the unborn child, as are you, as is the care provider who ignores the patient.  In a society of equal money this will not occur as each will be provided for from birth until death, all necessities will be met. There will be no charge for essential health care services. Each will be given the same amount of money to live on for some form of accountability and enough money  for essentials of life. You will not pay rent or a mortgage to a bank so some few families are incredibly rich, beyond imagination and get to have the earth as their playground while the vast, majority of humans suffer horribly with nothing and nothing to look forward to. I refuse to listen to the excuse, ‘well, that is their lot in life’, ‘God, has a plan’, ‘there is nothing I can do about  it’, “it’s up to my higher power, I’m not in control of that, they must have something to learn.’  What crap, shame on us.

if I was to take a can of spray paint and cover your house or car in graffiti would you have the right to stop me, maybe its just ‘gods will’ or your lot in life or a ‘higher plan’ well, you can fix it but each time you fix it , i did it again, would it make you angry? And that was just your property not your wife, mother, sister, child I was damaging. ‘That’s rediculous’, you may retort, no what is rediculous is to let a situation continue in which one pregnant woman is taken care of and another overlooked-simply becasue of the coin in her purse. Literally one baby is given human care/love and another human discarded, that is dispicable.

The second major problem, the pregnant women in the slums of Nairobi face, is the stark fact of needing to make money so their families don’t starve, let alone pay for other necessities of daily living…er I should say daily surviving.  The same article in The Standard, Michael Oriedo reports, “…Poverty forces pregnant women into doing heavy workloads, catering for the children they have already as well as  babies’ needs. Due to poverty, women work hard during pregnancy and the period surrounding it. They work in construction sites as head-carriers and loaders, stay out late selling their wares, or go from door to door looking for work,” 

Head carriers! That is heavy physical labour, I would have puked and fainted and I am completely serious. Now I would have also gotten up , like these women, and ‘soldiered on’ to feed my other children at home, pay rent and electricity etc. but it would be hell.I assume it is very hot in Nairobi so easy to become dehydrated. I wonder if these women get fair/compassionate breaks, water, nutrition, increased bathroom breaks on the job site, paid sick days or just sick days without threat of loosing their job, paid time off for doctors appointments? Perhaps some, I don’t know but I’m guessing no. Why? Am I jaded? Sure, I’ve felt like crap before and been treated like crap before and I don’t wish it on my fellow human sisters.Yes, I am jaded by the proven greed of the human race, the never ending race. Perhaps some employers do or/and some want to be helpful to these women but have their own troubles and family to pay for. I know I have been guilty of this , ‘I’ll be more ‘giving’ after I straighten out this debt I have.’ Slipping into justifying self interest, sadly, it’s the money system. We’re monkeys in a cage, all of humanity but the rich and the invisable elite. They have the freedom/movement that money provides, all the best services (health, fitness, travel, vacations, no stress from money worries).

 Now, I understand other places in the world have trials and tribulations for the pregnant woman, this is not a competition, I am simply looking at one situation in our world. We are not separate;, one world, your world , my world. Indeed, one baby, your baby, my baby. One problem for us all to address and, finally,  find a solution that is best for all.

These women have to work very hard to save enough money to make up for the time they will miss from work after the delivery and time they will spend at home. Many have no choice but to continue with the heavy workload immediately after birth. This often results in sapping the women’s energy and blood and leaves them fragile. Understandably, the women then are exposed to horrific outcomes: bleeding, anaemia, hypertension, malaria, placenta retention, premature labour, prolonged or obstructed labour and preeclampsia (convulsions).These problems often result in stillbirths, premature births, pregnancy loss, maternal mortality, morbidity, and deformity. 

One of the women interviewed, a 27-year-old mother, told of her experience of nearly dying five days after giving birth. She worked as a cleaner until a week before her delivery and resumed her job few days after giving birth. Sadly, on her first day at work after delivery, she suffered heavy bleeding. She had to start work immediately so her children wouldn’t starve. Although she knew she needed to stay home and rest she simply needed the money.It nearly cost her her life.

Please investigate a real alternative, that is best for all at http://www.EqualMoney.Org. Let us all stand together to create a better world, an equal world!