Posts Tagged ‘euro’

I will start with the conscious thought I have around a certain kind of man. Although it it subsiding as I am changing and am less fearful and more self aware of how I am responsible for what occurs in my life, there is a kind of man who has frightened me alot. This man would have some or all of the following qualities: be good looking, commanding ie. ‘big’ presence/personality, big ‘talent’,  outspoken, friendly-even overly friendly, sexy, very smart, educated and well spoken, big ego, loud, center of attention, tall ususally not always, wealthy, funny, popular, fit, and muscular. I would be sexually attracted to these men, again usually and if they rejected me in any way, I would assume it was because I was a failure, I was not ‘enough’ (of something) for them and they were ‘right’.

Recently, and as recent as last night, I am becoming more aware of my ‘backchat’ which are the thoughts running continuously in your mind  (some call the ‘squirrels’ ‘gerbals running on the wheel’ ‘the committee’) . They are often vicious observations , they are memories of experiences of your past that keep playing out, supposedly protecting you /warning you but I see more and more they keep me enslaved to my mind and mind patterns.  So just for ‘fun’ I will guess some of the backchat thoughts would be; stupid prick, I fuckin’ hate men like that, he doesn’t like me, men like that never like me, i’m not pretty enough or funny enough, i’m just not enough of something , I’ll make him notice me, I hate him, stay away from him, he will humiliate you.

Thought Pattern: I hate Dr. H. (my Dad was a chiropractor and many of his friends were) He’s never nice to me. Be careful of him. He thinks your just pretty and disregards me other than that. I’m not ‘good enough’ to talk to or joke with , like he does with that girl/woman, I am not ‘good enough’ to give attention to or become friends with. If I try to talk with him he blows me off. I dont’ look good tonight. He likes her, she’s really funny and cute/beautiful/smart/rich/successful/unique, I’m just plain and average. I don’t blame him. Just talk to the other losers. They’re nice. I hate fucking men like that anyway.

thought: Men like that; smart, funny, successful, handsome, popular, powerful, don’t like me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think men who are smart funny, successful, handsome, successful, popular and powerful don’t like me. I realize it makes no difference whether someone likes me or not , I am the same in either case. I no longer accept and allow myself to be ’emotionally’ dependent on another’s opinion and interaction with me. I realize I can trust myself now and if I am not ‘comfortable’ with someone I can stay at a distance and don’t need to interact with them. I no longer accept and allow myself to judge someone if I choose not to interact with them or they choose to not interact with me.

Whenever I have the thought   ‘ Men like that; smart, funny, successful, handsome, popular, powerful, don’t like me’ I stop, I breathe. I realize I can choose who I speak to without any emotion attached to the descision. I no longer accept and allow myself to need approval from  others, I no longer accept and allow myself to be energetically charged with emotions (fear, insecurity, jealousy) that can harm me. Instead I bring myself out of my mind and back to the physical with each ‘here’ moment of breath and I remind myself I do not need to ‘feel’ popular, liked, pretty but can enjoy my own company and relax and calm down in whatever social situation I find myself in.

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A pattern I have seen, with the men in my life, is waiting up for them, worrying, obsessing over their whereabouts, safety, fidelity, intentions, and integrity. It started as a little girl pacing in my bedroom until my Dad came home. It did not matter if he was home at 3a.m. I would not sleep until he pulled in the driveway. It continued into my first marriage for many years. Today I find myself going into this pattern now and then if one of my adult children are late (when they are at home, that is).

Thought Pattern: He’s not home yet. What time is it? How many hours has he been late? I hope he hasn’t gotten into a car accident. Oh god, please bring him home safely, please let him be ok, pleeeeeeease God, I’ll do anything. What time is it? He’s drinking and driving. He’s probably drunk. Its’ a snow  storm, he could be killed or hurt. Maybe he’s fooling around. He may be unfaithful….He’s not home yet. What time is it…….

Thought: Oh God, he’s late, where is he? Something bad could happen.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to think ‘Oh God, he’s late, where is he? Something bad could happen’. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an energetic reaction of fear of loss-of father/husband/child, anxiety, self-pity, helplessness, hopelessness over the thougtht, ‘   Oh God, he’s late, where is he? Something bad could happen.’

Whenever I go into an energetic reaction of fear and anxiety over the thought, ‘Oh God, he’s late, where is he? Something bad could happen’ I stop , I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to waste my time on victim statements in my mind. I no longer accept and allow myself to be directed by fear of loss but instead bring myself back to the physical in that moment and realize the only thing that is real is ‘here’ in this breath. I realize I don’t control events outside of myself and I calm down and take whatever action, a phone call perhaps, is necessary or possible, I talk to someone about my concern, I watch tv if I feel it would help me until I find out what has occurred for this person to be late.

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I looked up the word ‘bank’ in the dictionary (not thinking about it too much) expecting to find: financial institution, place where the public keeps their money, blah, blah, blah…Instead I found the following:

bank   dictionary.com 04/11/11

1. a long pile or heap; mass: a bank of earth; a bank of clouds.

2 a slope or acclivity

3  Physical Geography. the slope immediately bordering a streamcourse along      which the water normally runs.

4. a broad elevation of the sea floor around which the water is relatively shallow but not a hazard to surface navigation.
5 .Coal Mining. the surface around the mouth of a shaft.
It seems to me the commonality most of these definitions have is that a bank is an elevation or foundation of some part of the natural earth.  Hmm, well now that is interesting because I would have given bank the following definition:
Bank:  A place where I am told ‘no’. A place where I am humiliated. I place where I feel no one sincerely cares but put on fake smiles and a supposed helpful demeanour but I understand their ‘hands are tied’ as they ‘just work there’. A place where I feel shitty that, although I hate them, I am wrought with guilt because they are the pawns behind the cowards..I mean powerful players of the corporation (you know the ones who have billions of dollars and never show their face, I wonder how much their mortgage is ?…oh , nothing, that’s right. I wonder how much they pay in tax? …oh again nothing. they know all the ways to cheat but they do not call it cheating).
Anyway, back to the question. Will there be banks in an Equal Money System? (EMS)
No, not as you think of a bank now. One would assume that money and  banks go together but in an EMS they do not.  The banks role has purely been of  a service provider, making a profit from controlling the movement of money. However, within an EMS, the incentive to make profit will no longer exist and therefore the need for banks will no longer exist.

Money, itself, will not be owned. The only thing that will be owned will be life!  Everyone will receive equal money from birth to death.  In practicality, we will utilize the electronic infrastructure currently in place in the world as a monitoring system, which means you will be given credits on a card, say monthly, each one receiving the same, and use these credits at various stores to get all the goods and services you and your family require. So this card is  simply a tool used to trade in a responsible, accountable fashion.  Hence, money will be purely the accounting tool used to plan, implement and coordinate the details of  the division of resources at an individual and a global scale .

You won’t need to ‘pay for’ anything. You deserve all that is here for ‘free’ as you are one and equal to it. It does not matter where you are born, to what family, what history your family had. We do not put value on life as each other nor on food we produce, plants, animals, mountains, oceans nor the sky nor the rain. Time for us to wake up, all is free to roam the earth and enjoy what is here within a ‘best for all’ awareness and responsibility.

Wouldn’t it be great if banks could be transformed into community centers? A practical tool, a place to gather and support each other to become effective as individuas and as a community.

What was the common theme in dictionary definitions of ‘bank’ ?  An elevation or foundation of some part of the natural earth. The earth, home, the dust we come from and return to.  

Bank: new definition:  a natural part of the earth, a place to gather and share how to live ‘best for all’ principals, a place that lifts one up, gives one stability to grow as life, a place to support each other in all aspect of and as community, a place of togetherness as the new earthling.

Free yourself from the voice in the head that has taught you to become a ‘good’ consumer slave . Please join us at Desteni.co.za.

 The implementation of an Equal Money System (EMS) will be a process. Part of that process will be changing the current world systems (the banking system, the health care system, the education system etc) to what is best for all.  An EMS, at it’s core, supports all human life, as one as equal, and in that no one person, race, culture gets treated differently than another, advocating all deserve their needs met, to survive and thrive with dignity and respect, in this world.

People have different needs and at varying times of their life and in various regions according to climate, geographical conditions, and ease of access so there are many considerations. Therefore, a group of people may have special needs to be met that vary with other people but this will be dealt with on an ongoing and ‘as needed’ basis not because of what occurred in past history of this world. We can learn from history, in a practical way, without carrying an unnecessary load of knowledge and information, of memories and emotions-we will take into consideration just what it needed in the present and necessary to support life now.

No decisions, changes will be made according to the past as ‘compensation’ for past mistakes/injustices/ except for using a common sense approach as in what works and what doesn’t. We, as  the human race have all suffered and we all need to stand as one as equal, to fix the problems that face our world.

Therefore, we as the human race must honor each life, no longer in separation, …..you are separate from me so I live in self interest and ultimatly care about what is best for me ( and my family ) and your life has no effect on mine. No, we are all not only connected but live equal and one which means decisions are made on a ‘what is best for all’ basis. So if there are practices in place that are ‘working’ that when looked at from a ‘best for all’ stand point, then they will remain. Perhpas they will be altered over time, perhaps they will be implemented in a wider geographical area for more of the population, perhaps they will fade out, whatever is best for all of humanity and not just Indigenous people.

Let’s look at a few practical examples: jobs/university/housing

If there was legislation in place that specified Indigeous people would be hired on certain projects, to make up for a certain % of the total work force required, this would no longer be in place. Understand, one will not have to work for money=income. Each person will receive equal money per week/month/year in credits/earth dollars (whatever name is given the currency) so each Indigenous person will receive exactly the same as Brad Pitt-from birth to death-really! Do both of these people have equal access to all of the needed goods and services?  Are they both able to purchase what they want and require for their household? Do they both have the same opportunity to choose how they want to express themselves (ie. work=service or hobby), whether it be in building houses, painting houses, painting the landscape, working with animals etc.?   In the early stages of equal money, probably not and this will be addressed in other equal money writings.  Needless to say,  work will not be defined the way it is now.

Another example would be if there is a manditory requirement for universities to accept a certain % of Indigenous Peoples into certain programs or for the ‘standard’ to be different, such as lower grades required, or the cost to attend is lower. This would no longer be in place/law because schools such as these would have no cost to attend. The entire school system would have changes implemented over time but in an EMS there would be no ‘tuition’ cost, cost for materials/text books etc. that is now part of the regular /accepted/norm post secondary education system in, for example, Canada.

True free choice will open up (now choice is dependent on/restricted by how much money one has) so many will choose not to attend a regular school but to learn something different that truely intersts them.

Another example of  ‘rights’ that are possibly, currently in place to live outside the system that will no longer be necessary is;  reduced income tax, property tax, sales tax, and reduced fee for service such as public transportation. The need for these ‘rights’ will be eliminated by an equal money system because there will be no system of taxation and if a certain credit/amount is required to pay for transportation , everyone will  have the same amount to start with each month so all will be able to afford it.

I am one vote for an Equal Money System. Please join us.

When researching pregnancy, especially in ‘developed’ countries, one of the main concerns that comes up is teen pregnancy as unwanted/unplanned pregnancy and the resulting poverty that often occurs. Often the young woman ends up raising the child herself, is from a lower income , does not have post secondary education or the funds available to pursue such which could limit her future earning potential, so she and her unborn child are vulnerable on several fronts.

There are young women in North America who romanticize the idea of having a baby, on their own or with their teen boyfriend and see it as a badge of honor or ‘a way out’. I have seen these young women on various tv shows who believe life will be different for them, they will not be ‘like their parents’. It clearly is an example of trying to repair the past/correct mistakes their parents made and thus heal themselves. It is naive but also very selfish. Some, not all, also know they will receive government funding when they have a child but they lack foresight about the struggles they will face and the constant need for money when the child arrives. Also the constant loving care a child needs will constrict their mobility greatly, one needs to be stable on many fronts; emotionally, mentally, physically and financially to raise a healthy child. Please note, I am not suggesting a person in need not receive any government assistance, that would also be irresponsible. One should provide neccessities of life for ones child. I received government subsidized daycare and a monthly baby bonus for my 2 children for many years. It was extremely helpful.

In North America, a main issue is not the pregnancy but contraseptives. This will be discussed in detail in a future blog. However, in an equal money system, there will be a huge decline in the number of  unplanned , unwanted pregnancies. Subsequently, there will be a huge decline in teen poverty, domestic violence, suicide, mental illness. One of the reasons young women get pregnant is too leave their current dometic situation/family unit where they could have been emotionally, physically abused.  They do not have the financial means to live independantly so they see starting their own family as a way out, a fresh start. No blame here, just statements.  Largely I say this because in an equal money system the implications for a society are huge. Just to focus on pregnancy for now, from a starting point of financial stability, one can breath, let go of the constant energetic reacion of fear in the stuggle for survival, where’s my next meal, working for minmum wage and just making enough to provide food and roof over your/your families head.

As an aside, it is interesting , currently you see the middle class as slaves to the rich and the elite cannot afford a vacation, are losing their homes, cannot do anything but work, living pay cheque to pay cheque,which is not life but a form of robotic existance. I’m not even touching the subject of flat out poverty- the middle class=new widening lower class-are not being quiet and remaining good litttle robots in earth’s big factory for rich-they are getting pissed off–little too much greed there-ooops!  Memo to the rich: you made a boo boo, you should have thrown us some more bones so we would continue feeding off our addiction to consumerism, it keeps us busy so we don’t notice all the millions if not billions you are hoarding.

Anyway, I digress, in an equal money society women, young women will have a real alternative to dependancy on their parents/main caregivers/boyfriend/husband. This will reduce unwanted pregnancy in all woman of child bearing years. Equal Money will also reduce the number of abortions of all women. Let me walk through this:   If one has stable income the point of building a family unit for stability and survival will be eliminated. A woman will have a real ‘choice’ to decide how they want to express themselves and contribute to their world, no longer constricted by the social situation they were born into, geography, all the various opportunities for a decent future money buys. These opportunities include: education, transportation, adequate rest/sleep because one needs to work and look after children or go to school, less stress which can lead to physical and mental illness in the form of addiction, afford a break/vacation for rest and enjoyment so life is not just about ‘getting through it’.  If they are in a current relationship they do not have to remain, they will have the means=the money to leave a unsatisfactory situation and start new life in which they can afford to house, cloth, feed, educate their children without having to ‘bend over’ compromise/prostitute themselves.

Some memories of my childhood, specifically  in relation to  my father ‘picking on’, humiliating, his 4 children.  Lets heal this ! Of course this  includes my father, who I love.

I remember hiding in my room, listening at the door to my Dad yell at my brother, I believe my Dad was  drinking (most of these incidents occurred when he was intoxicated-not an excuse but important to note how alcohol can bring out the ‘evil’ side of a human being! Best to face this sober and get rid of these inner demons for good!). He often ‘helped ‘ my brother with his homework this way, yelling at him, putting him down, belittling him about being stupid and a failure if he didn’t ‘get it right’ and ‘get it right-right now’!  I felt terror, I felt my brothers pains, his shame and I internalized it, just as he did.

Another incident my Dad was picking on me when I was in grade nine, he generally left me alone when I was younger, had  3 others to attack and that’s why I hid and I hid well. So when my oldest brother and sister had left-escaped-he noticed me and I became a target. ‘She blackens her eyes so you don’t notice her big nose’ . Not a good thing to say to a 14 year old girl! I obsessed my looks more and more for years, I was convinced I was basically ugly unless I really ‘tried’=lot of make-up. So sad. “Don’t you know how to chop vegtables, didn’t your mother show you?” he’d yell in a harsh, accusatory voice and then no matter how you tried he would put down your efforts and make you feel completely stupid, a useless failure and I hated him for it …then the guilt, ‘oh god, I hate my father, I can’t hate him, it’s not allowed, he must be right, blah blah…’  Then his guilt/remorse would kick in and he’d be super nice for the next few days. There would be gifts of money, goodies, a little kind attention !  So there was a strange confusion/uncertainly within self and within the home. I would tell myself (unconsciously) “.. remember , you cannot trust his kindness because experience has shown you it does not last–when your guard is down – WHAM he gets you! Damn, I wasn’t going to put myself in that situation ie. be home at 4pm on a day he is home early  so be a possible target-ever again. I would blame myself , enough said, it is a horrible way to live for the perpetrator and the victim. It is dispicable to treat a child this way , he may as well have smashed in my face, at least the pain/abuse would have been visable. No excuses, no holding back, it just plain destroyed me. I didn’t have a chance.

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thought: I’m ugly and stupid.

Self forgiveness: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I’m ugly and stupid’ . I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the thought, ‘I am ugly and stupid’ and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought, ‘I am ugly and stupid’ to exist within and as me.

Self forgiveness on connection to words: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the words dad, father, alcohol, drunk, plain, incompetent, afternoon, boyfriend, vegtables, nose, make-up, chop, new and learn to the thought, ‘I am ugly and stupid.’

Self Corrective Statement: Whenever I go into an energetic reaction of self doubt and shame at the thought, ‘I am ugly and stupid’, I stop, I breath.  I no longer accept and allow myself to be directed by emotions of fear of failure and shame from the past.   Instead I remind myself I am in the process of birthing myself as life in the physical and it takes time so I remind myself to be patient and kind to myself. I realize my father was very ‘sorry’ as he got older and did the best he could at the time with me and all his children. I realize he would have ‘done things differently’ and taken back all the pain he caused to his children if he could. I bring myself back ‘here’ to the physical and out of my mind and get on with my day and the task at hand.

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Thought: I hate my father but I have to keep silent and do as he says or I could be harmed.

Self forgiveness: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I hate my father but I have to keep silent and do as he says or I could be harmed.’

Self Forgiveness on Connection to Words: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the words humiliate, fear, hate, shame, insignificant, small, jail, little, helpless, woman, girl, slave, hopeless, suppressed, bedroom, inferior, harmed, punish, punishment and weak to the thought, ‘I hate my father but I have to keep silent and do as he says or I could be harmed.’

Self Corrective Statement: Whenever I go into an energetic reaction of fear in relation to the thought, ‘I hate my father but I have to keep silent and do as he says or I could be harmed’ I stop, I breath. I no longer accept and allow myself to be silenced and  directed by and as this fear of loss of safety. I realize I am not this fear and that I am in fact safe ‘here’ in this moment and that this emotion exists only in my mind as memory of past experience.  Instead I bring myself out of my mind and back to the physical so as not to have the past, as suppression, as a starting point of this ‘here’ moment. I realize I am learning how to express myself in self honesty and self trust. I trust myself to continue with my day.

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Thought: I have to keep men ‘happy’ or they will punish me with physical or mental abuse.

Self Forgiveness: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘ I have to keep men ‘happy’ or they will punish me with physical or mental abuse.’

Self Forgiveness on Connection to Words: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the words money, homeless, sex, slave, home, children, abandon, alone, helpless, shame, shut-up, stupid, careful, men, beauty, sexy, aging, ugly, prison, hopeless, quiet, fix, silent and mistake to the thought, ‘I have to keep men ‘happy’ or they will punish me with physical or mental abuse.’

Self Corrective Statement: Whenever I have the thought,  ‘I have to keep men ‘happy’ or they will punish me with physical or mental abuse’ and I go into an energetic reaction of fear of loss, of physical necessities and company, I stop, I breath. I realize I am responsible for my own security and ‘well being’. I realize I am in a process of changing and understand me and it will take time and remind myself to be patient. I no longer accept and allow myself to remain ‘victim’ of past thought patterns.   Instead I bring myself out of my ‘head’ the back to what is real, what is here in my physical reality no longer punish myself by repeating the pattern of helpless victim, creating a timeloop in which my now moment is a starting point of a past moment, thereby creating a future from the past. I trust myself remain ‘here’ with the breath and attend to the situation that is concerning me, in a practical way, that places responsibility for myself on myself and not blaming another.

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Thought: I want to protect my brother but I can’t because I’m too weak, I lack power.

Self Forgiveness: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I want to protect my brother but I can’t because I’m too weak, I lack power.

Self Forgiveness on connection to words:  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the words afraid, helpless, hopeless, Dad, brother, rescue, hate, pain, mean, wrong, stupid, homework, learn, protect, hierarchy, rule, king, ruler, control, lack and power, to the thought,  ‘I want to protect my brother but I can’t because I’m too weak, I lack power.’

Self Corrective Statement:  Whenever I go into an energetic reaction of fear of loss of control, at the thought, ‘I want to protect my brother but I can’t because I’m too weak, I lack power’, I stop, I breath. I realize I have, in that moment, gone into my mind of past ‘experiences’ and I immediately bring myself back ‘here’ to this physical moment. I no longer accept and allow myself to be directed by this fear, as I now understand that this ‘power’ / ‘control’ I once perceived to be real, does not exist. I realize all that exist is me, as life as one and equal to all physicality in my world. Instead I remind myself true power is ‘know thyself’ but knowing is not enough, one must walk this knowing in each breath. So I trust myself and I continue with whatever needs to be done, to ensure my and the others safety and security.

Please investigate EqualMoney.Org and find out how you can effectively heal yourself and our planet.