Posts Tagged ‘intentions’

I bought and read many spiritual ‘self help’ books over the last 20 years. Probably 30-40 books. There is no doubt they provided a band-aid, some temporary relief to a confused, ‘searching’ woman needing some meaning for her existence. There was never anything I read that brought clarity to who or what I was or why I was alive, the meaning of my life or life in it’s entirety.

‘The Power of Intention’ *1 by Wayne Dyer, was one such book. I don’t have anything personally against the author, in fact I believe he is probably sincere, misguided and ineffective (except for his own personal financial gain) but sincere. I am just as guilty of ‘wanting’ that manifestation of wealth for self interested reasons and greed as anyone is. I bought it hook, line and sinker, didn’t materialize for me though. I am now walking a self corrective process at Desteni, which will result in self purification and self perfection, one breath at a time, so as to never live in self interest again but to consider and act in accordance to what is best for all life in all ways. I believe Mr. Dyer would admit, if put to the wall, he knew, for the vast majority, it would not be successful but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that he would want it to ‘work’ for his readers/followers.

I was going to look for passages I had highlighted but just looking at the chapter titles is enough to discuss here why I now believe this book provides no useful purpose to the life of human beings.

chapter 7: It is my Intention to: Respect Myself at all Times.

In itself, this statement is not incorrect as a preferred way to live. Respect is actually more real and powerful than the idea of love. It is paramount in a compassionate society and in any relationship, be it with yourself or another. However, without even going into what Dyer writes within the chapter itself, he is forgetting and /or ignoring one tinsy, winsy fact; the millions of human beings who cannot even get enough food to eat today let alone go to a bookstore and purchase his book. So where does he get off posing as some spiritual leader, someone we are to look to for guidance to show us/be a role model for a ‘decent’ human being.  As far as I can see he is a muti-millionaire who writes about ideas, basically positive thinking books, while he ignores the suffering of the world’s poor and disadvantaged.

How is someone born into poverty (with no advantages to take practical steps to get out of that poverty) even to begin to fathom that statement. Many people do not have the opportunity to attend school, receive proper healthcare, nutrition, housing-these are just the basics one needs to survive let alone be concerned with respecting themselves. Actually, it is understood by most people, that one deserves respect automatically as life. But time and experience in this world proves to them otherwise. They do not receive respect, one and equal to the author, as a fellow human being. They are ignored and left to suffer and then die, unnoticed by the ‘haves’.

Chapter 11: It is My Intention to: Live a Stress-Free, Tranquil Life.

Really? And is this accomplished by ‘manifesting’ money and all the goodies life has to offer by meditation, prayer, positive thinking…hmmm…business smarts, a business aptitude, the right connections, the right education, the right family, money to get things started/moving? Yup, all of the above and only a few ‘lucky’ ones make it at that.

It is never my intention to become so smart mouthed when writing these blogs but honestly, I just get so pissed off! Does Mr. Dyer assume that some in this world are ‘special’ , ‘blessed’, ‘fortunate’ and others…well…just not. So it is the responsibility of the ‘blessed’ ones to spread the love and light message and ‘give generously to charity’. How has this helped the world? It has not. Again, the idea of living a stress free and tranquil life is desirable but I do not see any results that his methods are working but for a few and more importantly, at the expense of the many. Earth is increasingly polarized  between the rich and poor. Pretty hard to be tranquil when you are experiencing famine, watching your children wither away before your eyes and you are helpless to save them. Pretty hard to be stress free-or have the time to meditate on this idea-when you are facing eviction and you have lost your job and have a family to care for.

For humanity to live stress free and tranquil then all must be given all they need. However, perhaps I am off track, he does not speak about humanity, just the individual, self interest. Never is ‘what is best for all’ mentioned.

Chapter 10: It is my Intention to :Feel Successful and Attract Abundance into My Life.

Ah yes, there it is, the use of the almighty god of Energy! Specifically, this energy generation is designed to attract the real god of the human being-Money.

It’s just too ridiculous to go into detail but again how can one even start this process (I do get it- it’s a ‘fake it ’till ya make it’ approach as in; that’s what the universe wants/needs you to do, visualize etc, in order over time to ‘manifest’ your greedy desires) if one does not have the time or comfortable surrounding/home/bed/food ? It is not practical, it is not fair , it is not equal. Mr. Dyer, why do you ‘preach’ practices that people do not have equal access to? How does this assist and support human beings to solve any of the world’s very real and pressing problems? ‘Oh, it’s up to the universe, not I, I am a humble servant only’, is the kind of excuse you hear thrown out there.

So what’s the universe to do, pick and choose? No, my friend, it is us human beings, you and I, who are guilty of picking and choosing. The universe is neutral, as in ‘we are all one’. It is time for us to join the universe, in fact-for real, and not in some airy fairy way based on ‘feelings of love’ in your mind but walking breath by breath, with your feet firmly planted on mother earth and fix this bloody mess, in the physical!

Feed one another, clothe one another, heal one another, house one another = real love one another.

A teacher who walked this earth once said; ‘Love thy neighbor as thyself’,  I do not see this in action in this book.

I see, get incredibly rich off your fellow man, and help but 1% of your readers get incredibly rich too. Fuck the rest, I don’t see them, I don’t know them, I won’t think about them. I’ll meditate on ideas of bliss and beauty, love and light and create/manifest that- off your buck- in my own life, for my own family and let, nameless and faceless millions, starve, suffer, commit suicide, die. Why? Because one gets blinded by too much light. Time to go into the dark and dirty, get down and dirty and clean this shit up.

Hey…First Things First. Equal Money for all, so all may live a dignified, enjoyable life, not just some! Let’s stop being hypocrites.

Join us in building a new world, in which all can participate fully, over time, to create the ideals this book suggests.

Please investigate:        EqualMoney.Org          DesteniIProcess.Com              Desteni.Org

*1  The Power of Intention, By Wayne Dyer

Published By: Hay House Inc. February 2004, United States

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January 2011

2011 – First Blog: My Process at Deteni

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/06/first-blog-my-process-at-desteni-journal-jan-411/

2011 – my process…SHUT UP

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/07/my-process-shut-up/

2011 – Loser and Gossip

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/loser-and-gossip/

2011 – Humiliation and the Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/humiliation-and-the-money-system/

2011 – Good Intentions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/good-intentions/

2011 – How I am not real…I change moment to moment

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/how-i-am-not-real-i-change-moment-to-moment/

2011 – My master fear shouts ‘hurry up’

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/14/my-master-fear-shouts-hurry-up/

2011 – hate and murder…it’s right there inside of me

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/hate-and-murder-its-right-there-inside-of-me/

2011 – News:  Horrible images of the dead but I am numb

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/20/news-horrible-images-of-the-dead-but-i-am-numb/

2011 – Egomania

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/23/egomania/

2011 – Fear of Standing Up

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/23/fear-of-standing-up/

2011 – A Disaplined Life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/25/a-disciplined-life/

2011 – The Existing Money System and Debt

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/28/the-existing-money-system-and-debt/

February 2011

2011 – Fear of Attack:  My Process with Desteni

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/05/fear-of-attack-my-process-with-desteni/

2011 – My Friend Pika:  Process, A First

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/my-friend-pika-process-a-first/

2011 – I Am One Vote For World Equality

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/i-am-one-vote-for-world-equality/

2011 – Self Trust & Common Sense

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/12/self-trust-common-sence/

2011 – Joy

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/14/joy/

2011 – Sugar Addiction

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/17/sugar-addiction/

2011 – Starting to Experience Life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/23/starting-to-experience-life/

2011 – Why on Earth-lyrics

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/27/why-on-earth-by-sandy-jones-and-peter-linesman/

March 2011

2011 – Dropping the Ball and Chain

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/04/dropping-the-ball-and-chain/

2011 – Exploiting Cheap Labor: Does Ignorant = Innocent?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/exploiting-cheap-labour-does-ignorant-innocent/

2011 – Comparison; Woman Against Woman

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/10/comparison-woman-against-woman/

2011 – Process: Changes

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/14/process-changes/

April 2011

2011 – Process: Facing my Fears…uh oh…Huge Step Back

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/process-facing-my-fears-uh-oh-huge-step-back/

2011 – I Fear Smoking: Self Forgiveness

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/process-facing-my-fears-uh-oh-huge-step-back/

2011 – I Fear Losing Money:  Self Forgiveness

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/process-facing-my-fears-uh-oh-huge-step-back/

2011 – Are We Not ALL Princes Among Men?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/21/are-we-all-not-princes-among-men/

May 2011

2011 – Al-Queda Recruits: What am I  Missing Here?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/01/al-queda-recruits-what-am-i-missing-here/

2011 – My Experience with the Real Estate Career Scam

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/03/my-experience-with-the-real-estate-career-sham/

2011 – Canadian Election Shocker:  Hope for future equality…in the future

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/03/canadian-election-surprise-hope-for-future-equality-in-the-future/

2011 – Why didn’t I take my Kids to Cool ‘Singalong’ Classes when They were Young?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/14/why-didnt-i-take-my-kids-to-cool-singalong-classes-when-they-were-young/

2011 – I Hate My Husband;   Anger/Blame

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/i-hate-my-husband-angerblame/

2011 – The End is Here, yes the end of BS with an Equal Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/21/the-end-is-here-yes-the-end-of-bs-with-an-equal-money-system/

2011 – Banking: Price Increases…Insatiable Greed

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/banking-price-increases-no-one-asked-me/

2011 – Sport:  Competition Destroys the Self Esteem of the large majority of our Children

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/sport-competition-destroys-the-self-esteem-of-large-majority-of-our-children/

2011 – Music:  Beyonce Is A Bully

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/music-beyonce-is-a-bully/

June 2011

2011 – Why Sex Sells

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/10/why-sex-sells/

2011 – Mind Control – Cult – Beware !

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/10/mind-control-cult-beware/

2011 – MultiNational Greed and the Ugly Result

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/11/multinational-greed-and-the-ugly-result/

2011 – Causes of Poverty-Shocking Worldwide Statistics

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/14/causes-of-poverty-worldwide-statistics-shocking/

2011 – Vanity & Me:  Self Forgiveness on the Beauty System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/24/vanity-me-process-self-forgiveness-on-the-beauty-system/

2011 – Realizations!  Fear of Aging

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/25/realizations-fear-of-aging/

July 2011

2011 – Why I Stand for Equal Money and World Equality

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/why-i-stand-for-equal-money-and-world-equality/

2011 – Emotions and Re-defining ‘Beauty’

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/02/emotions-and-re-defining-beauty/

2011 – Where ‘God’ led me:  An Exurpt from a Case Study on Alcoholism

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/17/where-god-led-me-an-exurpt-from-a-casestudyblog-on-alcoholism/

2011 – Loss:  What I now realize.  What I will now accept and what I will not accept.

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/17/loss-what-i-now-realize-what-i-will-and-will-not-accept-and-allow/

2011 – The Road To Hell is Paved With Good Intentions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/the-road-to-hell-is-paved-with-good-intentions/

2011 – Quantum Self Realizations

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/quantum-self-realizations/

August 2011

2011 – Jealousy:  My Sister got the Family Cottage

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/jealousy-my-sister-got-the-family-cottage/

2011 – Regret:  The talk with my Dad

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/16/regret-the-talk-with-my-dad/

2011 – Trigger Points:  Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/trigger-points-self-forgiveness-and-corrective-statement/

2011 – Life as Survival of the Fittest Versus Life in an Equal Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/21/life-as-survival-of-the-fittest-versus-life-within-an-equal-money-system/

2011 – Equal Money is Not Communism

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/21/equal-money-is-not-communism/

Septmeber 2011 

2011 – What Happens when I Accept an Idea of ‘God’?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/what-happens-when-i-accept-an-idea-of-god/

2011 – Experiences Keep Us Stuck

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/experiences-keep-us-stuck/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Self Sabotage:  The point of Inferiority

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/21/self-forgiveness-self-sabotage-the-point-of-inferiority/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Self Sabotage:  Assumptions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/self-forgiveness-self-sabotage-assumptions/

2011 – Self Forgiveness Book:  Childhood:  Thought Patterns

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/28/self-forgiveness-book-childhoodthought-patterns/

October  2011

2011 – Childhood Patterns:  Inhibitions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/childhood-patterns-inhibition/

2011 – Poverty & Pregnancy

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/06/poverty-and-pregnancy/

2011 – Childhood Memories:  Humiliation

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/08/childhood-memories-humiliation/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Childhood Memories:  Submissive Women

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/14/sf-childhood-memories-submissive-women/

2011- Unplanned Pregnancy & Equal Money

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/16/unplannedunwanted-pregnancy-and-equal-money/

2011 – FAQ:  Will Indigenous People Preserve their ‘Rights’ to live Outside the System?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/25/will-indigenous-people-preserve-their-rights-to-live-outside-of-the-system/

2011 – FAQ Equal Money:  Will I have to Wait in Line for Bread?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/27/faq-equal-money-will-i-have-to-wait-in-line-for-bread/

2011 – The Future of Money 2012:  Will There Be Banks in an Equal Money System?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/29/the-future-of-money-2012-will-there-be-banks-in-an-equal-money-system/

November 2011

2011 – Self Forgiveness on Childhood:  Thought Patterns:  Fear of Men

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/03/self-forgiveness-on-childhood-fear-of-men-thought-patterns/

2011 – Process:  Letting Go of my Relationship Personality

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/04/process-letting-go-of-my-relationship-personality/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:  Boyfriends

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/07/self-forgiveness-boyfriends-thought-patterns/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  High School Girlfriends

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/self-forgiveness-high-school-girlfriends/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:   Family-In-Laws

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/13/sf-thought-patterns-family-in-laws/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:  My Father’s Drinking

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/self-forgiveness-childhood-memories-thought-patterns-my-fathers-drinking/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal money System:  Are you just going to print cash?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/faq-equal-money-system-are-you-going-to-just-print-cash/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System:  Will there be Euthanasia?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/faq-equal-money-system-will-there-be-euthanasia/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  BIG (Basic Income Grant)

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/faq-equal-money-system-2020-basic-income-grant/

2011 – Process:  Fantasies of Older Men: Realizations and Self Corrective Statements

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/27/so-many-men-so-little-time-realizations-and-self-corrective-statements-re-fantasies/

December 2011

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:  Teen/Young Adult

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/memories-thought-patterns-self-forgiveness/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  No more cheap glasses that ruin your eyes!

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/faq-equal-money-system-2020-no-more-cheap-glasses-that-ruin-your-eyes/

2011 – FAQ:  The End of Weapons Production with Equal Money

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/10/faq-the-end-of-weapons-production-with-equal-money/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  No More OWS (Occupy Wall Street)

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/faq-equal-money-system-2020-no-more-owsoccupy-wall-street/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  Free World Travel

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/faq-equal-money-system-2020-free-world-travel/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  No more Deepak Chopra

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/faq-equal-money-system-2020no-more-deepak-chopra/

2011 – Self Forgiveness on Use of Sleep Aids

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/24/self-forgiveness-on-use-of-sleep-aids/

2011 – Self Forgiveness on Alcoholism

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/30/self-forgiveness-on-alcoholism/

January 2012

2012 – Self Forgiveness on ‘Happy” Childhood Memories

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/02/self-forgiveness-on-happy-childhood-memories/

2012 – Self Forgiveness As Last Life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/self-forgiveness-as-last-life/

2012 – Self Forgiveness As Another:  The Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/self-forgiveness-as-another-the-money-system/

2012 – Self Forgiveness As Another:  Parents, siblings, world systems, other

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/08/2011-self-forgiveness-as-another-parents-siblings-world-systems-other/

2012 – Self Forgiveness:  Karma

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/08/self-forgiveness-karma/

2012 – Self Forgiveness on Magic:  The Role of Time

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/self-forgiveness-on-magic-the-role-of-time/

2012 – 2012 Why I Could Hear the Desteni Message

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/2012-why-i-could-hear-the-desteni-message/

2012 – 2012 Is it more than a Prediction? Is it the End?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/2012-is-it-more-than-a-prediction-is-it-the-end/

2012 – 2012 Are you truly Alone? Where is the Savior?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/24/2012-are-you-truly-alone-where-is-the-savior/

2012 – 2012: Facing the Religion of Self

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/2012-facing-the-religion-of-self/

February 2012

2012 – 2012: What Does it Mean to Live Absolute?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/2012-what-does-it-mean-to-live-absolute/

2012 – 2012:  Will You Survive the Financial Collapse?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/2012-will-you-survive-the-financial-collapse/

2012 – Eckhart Tolle’s New Earth:  Did I take that seriously?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/21/2012-eckhart-tolles-new-earth-did-i-take-that-seriously/

2012 – History of the Interdimentional Portal

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/history-of-the-interdimentional-porta/

March 2012

2012 – Wayne Dyer’s ‘Power of Intention’ What Purpose Does it Serve?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/2012-wayne-dyers-the-power-of-intention-what-purpose-does-it-serve/

2012 – Economics: Ownership: The Lie that Kills

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/05/economics-ownership-the-lie-that-kills/

2012 – Secrets of Masturbation: Why even talk about it? Isn’t anything private anymore?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/08/secrets-of-masturbation-why-even-talk-about-this-isnt-anything-private-anymore/

2012 – ‘A Course in Miracles’ :  The miracle did nothing to improve my life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/06/2012-a-course-in-miracles-the-miracle-did-not-improve-my-life/

2012 – Voices in the Mind are Deception Not a Higher Power

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/31/voices-in-the-mind-are-deception-not-a-higher-power/

April 2012

2012 – W. Dyer:  Looking at “The Power Of Intention”

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/w-dyer-looking-at-the-power-of-intention/

2012 – Re-defining Education:  Social Develpment 1 to 6 months

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/re-education-social-development-1-to-6-months/

2012 – Healing Resentment: I’m So Pissed at My Husband!

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/healing-resentment-im-so-pissed-at-my-husband/

2012 – Sandy’s Journey To Life:  Day 1:  Resistance

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/sandys-journey-to-life-day-1-resistance/

2012 – Sandy’s Journey To Life:  Day 2:  Failed Relationships

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/sandys-journey-to-life-day-2-failed-relationships/

May 2012

2012 – Day 3:  I Hate that Rich Bitch:  Facing Jealousy, Regret, Spite

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/day-3-i-hate-that-rich-bitch-jealousy-regret-spite/

2012   Day 4: Failed Relationships: Facing My Father

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/day-4-failed-relationships-beginning-facing-my-father/

2012 – Day 5: Failed Relationships: Facing my Father 2

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/13/day-5-failed-relationships-facing-my-father-2/

2012 – Day 6: Failed Realtionships: My Mom: Being Bitchy to Store Clerks and My Partner

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/day-6-failed-relationships-my-mom/

2012 – Day 7: Facing my Father 3 : Little Girls are Inferior

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/day-7-facing-my-father-3-little-girls-are-inferior/

2012 – Day 8:  Failed Relationships: Rushing

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/23/day-8-failed-relationships-rushing/

2012 – Day 9: Personality Patterns: I Am Mom

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/26/day-9-personality-patterns-i-am-mom/

2012 – Day 10: Personality Patterns: I Am Mom the Protector

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/28/day-10-my-mom-personality-cont/

June 2012

2012 – Day 11: Mom as the possession of Worry

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/day-11-personalities-mom-as-the-possession-of-worry/

2012 – Day 12: Me as Mom: Summer Camp for the Rich

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/day-12-me-as-mom-summer-camp-for-the-rich/

2012 – Day 13: Facing Me as Mom: The Wicked Wealthy Ski Chalet

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/09/day-13-facing-personalities-mom-exclusive-ski-chalet/

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that magic-quantum time is possible. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I could handle reality in quantum time (instant manifestation of a thought or the spoken word). I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an energetic reaction of fear when I think of actually being responsible for quantum time, lol I’d have the whole world gone a ‘poof’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as and within continual timeloops as time as energy, going in circular within life as I exist in and as the mind, never slowing down enough to be a real creator of my world/reality but running in circles, no matter if I do things ‘differently’, with always the same outcome.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continually add more and more knowledge and information in and as my mind and not consider it is how I use this information-move and effect an outcome with and as it- (not whether I understand it) that is key to not ending up back at the beginning, over and over to infinity, so not really expanding, becoming, creating myself beyond what /who I am now .

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by fear 1000 times a day as I think, ‘damn, I’m getting older, I look older, I am tired because I’m older, I’m gaining weight because I’m older now, my hair is more grey, my knee hurts because of my age as older, I shouldn’t do x because I am older now, the women at the school are younger, they look better, I’ll move to a smaller house with no mortgage because I’m getting older, …… ( Note: these thoughts are layered…but they are they, it is indeed extensive!) so forever being enslaved/trapped in my mind in a story, sequence of pre-programmed events of a ‘lifetime’ and never being /experiencing/creating LIFE as me , who I am ‘here’ in each breath, as one and equal to all that exist!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as a picture in a picture world and myself as a story in a timeline, as a seed with the timeline rolled up within it (taken from a Desteni vlog, lol, fascinating) and as the timeline unravels and the seed grows, it indeed has an end, and I as the story, end… who made that nasty bit up?!  Lol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the patterns my mind has trapped me into,  closed patterns, as in a circle, not really learning/growing/evolving but compromising myself more and more, letting ‘things beyond my control’ go because I am powerless, and after all people don’t like/won’t like me ‘if I’m like that ‘ as in difficult to be around because I question the way human beings exist on this planet–because I am getting older and only have so much time, and apparently ‘energy’ so I get tired more, so ‘let the young ones change the world’ too late for me’ and I abdicate my responsibility for the state of this world as a protector/stuart of this world because of a goddamn story line/timeline to which I am bound and ‘helpless’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let myself be duped by my ego and directed by fear of loss, believing in my ‘personality’, thinking, ‘I don’t want them not to like me, I’ll be lonely, unhappy, desolate, friendless and perhaps I will need them and I may become poor and homeless and OMG I NEED them, I’ll shut up.’ and so not speak up about the atrocities I see in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that time-quantum time or earth/space time-is all energy and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I cannot live without energy, I am energy, I am light’ regulating the movement of and as knowledge and information / the unfolding of events in space/time within vibration=energy.


Memory: I was somewhere between 5 and 8 years old.  My ‘best’ girlfriend and I had, for quite some time, enjoyed rehearsing and performing for our parents various musical ‘skits’,  songs and dances. We were free and uninhibited in our expression, truly innocent and I was ‘happy’ and ‘confident’. I do not remember the event/events that occurred prior to me ‘backing out’ of these performances but I remember telling my little co-star I would not perform anymore. She was aghast and told me , like she was scolding me, ‘I’m very disappointed in you Sandy’. Well, that didn’t help. I felt a deep sense of shame by exposing my fear and weakness to her but better that than expose myself in front of our parents on stage.  It was like I became aware of me ‘alone’ on stage, whereas before that, being ‘one’ alone on stage was not even a conscious thought I had. I understand now I was not ‘separate’ from the ‘song’, the stage, the audience and me-it was one= the performance. BTW you can’t sing if you are paranoid about ‘what others think’. Interestingly, I re-visited singing and stage fright in my 30’s and 40’s with a little more success.

The thougtht: I’m afraid to perform in front of others, I’m not good enough, they will reject me.

Thought Pattern: ‘I can’t perform in front of others. I’m not good enough, they’ll laugh at me/make fun of me, I’m terrified of ‘others’ finding out I’m mediocre,see- she’s better, better not to ‘try’, she thinks she so great, I hate the fuckin bitch, she wants to be best/better, I hate competition and everyone involved, I’m above competition so I don’t have to perform=expose myself, I’m better than these superficial people.’

Note: To this day, I actually do not like nor agree with competition however, l love music, dance, singing, playing an instrument and other forms of artistic expression.  So the key-go back to the garden of Eden, throw off the damn fig leaf. But…how to find my way back? There is a way, a map…

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Self Forgiveness :  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I’m afraid to  perform in front of others, I’m not good enough, they will reject me’. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the thought, ‘I’m afraid to perform in front of others, I’m not good enough, they will reject me.’ I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought, ‘I’m afraid to perform in front of others, i”m not good enough, they will reject me’, exist as real within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought pattern , ‘I can’t perform in front of others. I’m not good enough, they’ll laugh at me/make fun of me, I’m terrified of ‘others’ finding out I’m mediocre,see- she’s better, better not to ‘try’, she thinks she so great, I hate the fuckin bitch, she wants to be best/better, I hate competition and everyone involved, I’m above competition so I don’t have to perform=expose myself, I’m better than these superficial people’ exist within and as me as real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the words: shame, fear, little, try, tries, fail, failure, weak, humiliation, inhibited, fool, winner, loser, competition,compete, jealous, jealousy, exposed, naked to the thought,  ‘I’m afraid to  perform in front of others, I’m not good enough, they will reject me’.

Realizations: I realize , as a little girl, my family did not play music or act spontaniously so this is not something-as in an expression- I was ‘used to ‘. I realize, although my parents did the best they could, my father could be harsh and use humiliation with his children to put us down/keep us in line. Although I do not remember any specific examples at this young age,  I realize I could have seen/heard him do this with one of my siblings and he was just intimidating and frightening in general so I was not in a supportive atmosphere.  I realize I have gotten over much of this inhibition but still have a way to go and I can be kind and patient with myself. I realize I love artistic expression of songwriting and singing and playing and dancing freely and the point of the art/expression has nothing to do with another person but me in the moment. I realize comparing and competition is a waste of time and I can enjoy another beings expression and if I admire something, I can be inspired by that being to learn and grow by their example. I realize if I am uncomfortabe with something I should ‘practice’ more alone until I feel confident enough to share with others present.

Self corrective statement:  Whenever I go into an energetic reaction of inhibition, at the thought,  ‘I’m afraid to  perform in front of others, I’m not good enough, they will reject me’, I stop, I breath. I no longer accept and allow myself to be directed by the emotion of inhibition, keeping me silent, chained by fear of being a ‘fool’ and rejected by others. I no longer accept and allow myself to separate myself from others as art as their expression. I no longer accept and allow myself to separate myself from myself as an unlimited being who can learn and grow artistically. Instead I bring myself out of my mind, as thoughts, feelings and emotions, and back ‘here’ to the physical. I remain ‘here’ aware as each breath of each moment. I refuse to participate in mind polarities of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ ‘talented’ and ‘untalented’ and I refuse to participate in this childhood thought pattern which keeps me stuck in a timeloop-forever creating my future by being in my mind with memories of the past -so actually living and reliving the past. I decide if I am ready to perform in front of others and prepare myself accordingly. I get on with the task at hand and on with my day.

Inhibition: new definition

A suppression of a certain expression due to past  punishment. A reminder to me to get out of my head of past thoughts and emotions and perfect my presentation so I am confident performing artistically.

Thought: It doesn’t matter if I write a book on self forgiveness or not, no one will read it.

Self sabotage: I have fallen on a point before I even stand, before I write one word , I have believed a thought in my mind-which has no reality unless it is given a reality by me acting on it!  And so I follow my ego, perhaps some doubt and guilt creep in, no matter, my mind has many justifications,  ‘Well, not many people would read it, not enough to make a difference’ ‘I really don’t know how to market a book on the internet anyway’ ‘i’ve never had any success selling stuff I’ve made’ ‘ what am I a sheep?  Following everything said at Desteni, it’s rediculous’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to think, ‘It doesn’t matter if i write a book on self forgiveness or not, no one will read it.’I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the thought, ‘It doesn’t matter if i write a book on self forgiveness or not, no one will read it.’ I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have  the thought, ‘It doesn’t matter if i write a book on self forgiveness or not, no one will read it’ exist  within and as me as real.

Self Realizations: I realize I no longer accept and allow myself to project into the future/determine the ‘future’ from a starting point of a past memory. I realize ‘past’ experiences do not determine who and what I am in this here moment of breath. I realize I can learn how to set up a store online and market products. I realize it is a pointless waste of my time to participate in ‘worry’ about not selling something I don’t even have yet! Lol, how insane is that!  I realize a self forgiveness book is a productive use of my time as it helps me in my process ‘here’, it may help others or, if I don’t make it, through changes  that are occuring on earth, hopefully it/the book will remain to assist future generations. I realize Desteni has assisted and supported me in several ways and continues to do so , in my personal process of becoming self  as life (not self as ego) , explained my mind to me, provides  an invaluable community of  beings who have the same values as myself (never found that before in my life) and has provided me with a platform to express myself. We are one and equal, I can switch roles and play the shepard sometime.

Self corrective statement: Whenever I have the thought,  ‘It doesn’t matter if I write a book on self forgiveness or not, no one will read it’, I stop, I breath. I no longer accept and allow myself to be directed by excuses and  justification of the mind. I realize this  thought is of the mind  I bring myself back ‘here’ to the physical and remain here with the breath in each moment. I realize it is impossible to share the message -solution- of self forgiveness if everyone projected into the future and assumed no one will read a SF booklet, no one will if it is not written. I carry on with my day and begin writing.

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When I accept the idea of a ‘God’, assuming this is an all powerful, loving , creator, I put myself in a position that is ‘smaller’, ‘less powerful’. I assume there is something, some being that ‘made’ me for a reason and I can only ‘hope’ there is a benevolent reason for my existence.   ‘Hope’ itself is not empowering and I wait/walk..err…stumble blindly along life’s path with only faith (interesting hope and faith both also ‘ideas’ in my mind) trying to do what is ‘right’ (hard to say what right is, as it is different according to your experience) until the day I die so I may enter the kingdom of this ‘leader’. Hmmm…not much to grab hold of there but it’s all I got.

If I accept the idea of ‘God’ I isolate myself -as one person trying to do what I conjure is ‘right’-from my fellow human beings, the animal kingdom and nature. I live an existence based largely, if not solely, upon self interest because I am in fact in my head-my mind with beliefs that direct me. I accept the notion that there is a ‘right’ path or ‘wrong’ path for me and he=God ain’t gonna tell me which way to go. I  buy into the notion of ‘signs’, ‘a calling’, ‘answered prayers’, that I now understand to be all thoughts, feelings, dreams- from my mind!

I am taught and ‘feel’ compelled to go to university, get married, have children, have the same ‘faith’ as my parents, go to the cottage like my parents, buy a home like my parents, have the same values more or less as my parents. I am plagued with guilt, worry, shame, fear, fear, fear…like my father , told to be grateful but it’s good to want and get more, more, more…don’t question the big stuff like where I came from and where I’m going beyond this life-we told you-God made you-God loves you-so be a good little unit and shut up.

What do I allow? When the belief in God is accepted I allow everything and everyone else-save my immediate family and few friends and pets-to sink or swim on their own. Hey, I gotta enough problems trying to survive. I allow the ‘survival of the fittest’ approach to life.

The consequences of this are enormous. Just considering my own little life, then times that by about 7 billion. Everyday is consumed in self interest; how do I get enough money for me, my family, if I have enough money-how do I get more! OMG what is this on my body, i’m gonna die!, how do I save me?, how do I save for the future, how do I remain youthful, how do I loose this weight?, how do I compete with other women so I don’t loose the main breadwinner in the house?, how do I get better abs, tight butt?, afford to get my hair highlighted, get a new car-mine is getting old, go down south-need to save for that , get that new tv-please God , help me  earn more so I can by the new ipad. Need I say more, it goes on and on. Oh yes, give a dollar to the guy on the street and some at Christmas-’tis the season for giving afterall. Gives you a nice warm feeling.

So, one consequence; I turn a blind eye to the suffering of millions of people who are starving, who have no clean water, who have no education, who have little or no hope of a better tomorrow . Me and 7 billion others do this . We are obsessed/possessed by the mind, we are focused inward with god/spirituality/one religion or another and not dealing with what is here in the physical in a practical and logical/mathematical  way.

Speaking of mathematics, I have on several occasions ‘joked’ with my family that if only everyone in the world-not those in the 3rd world-gave me $1.00 that would be enough, I’d be rich and content and it wouldn’t hurt them one bit! They all laugh and agree I’m a little ‘crazy’. Well, what of it? How about it? It makes mathematical sense? Of course not that exactly, but a new way, a way that is based on what is best for all.

At Desteni we support an Equal Money System, please visit EqualMoney.Org. It is the only solution that is truly humane for our earth.

Whenever I think of Communism, an image of Chairman Mao comes to mind and an army of citizens (soldiers) all dressed the same, rather obedient and robot-like.  I have thoughts like, ‘well, at least the population has more than they used to’ or ‘the poor people, they are no longer individuals but just a number in the system-no face- just a body but a body that is being ‘taken care of’ because they arn’t capable of taking care of themselves’. ‘I’m sure they all live in little identical boxes, they call home, with no self expression’.

Little did I understand at the time, I was a ‘robot’ in the system, just the same, only an ocean and a word ‘capitalism’ separated us.

When I think of Communism, I think of order in a boring way, taking the zest/fun out of life as self expression, no individualism and no choice in ones life work/career/job. ‘You must do what is needed by the ‘state’ or off to jail you go’, kind of thing. Not suggesting that is what Communism ‘is’ but these are some of people’s preconceived notions and fears.

So if equal money is not that , what is it?

Life in an equal money system would be the opposite of sameness, robotic existance, no choices, no freedom…what it would do is enable all-NOT JUST THE RICH- to enjoy the opportunity that -once there is no struggle for survival as all ‘need’s are met-money allows for one to choose what food you would like to enjoy and cook for yourself and your family, decorate your home-indeed participate in the planning of your home-in your own self expression.  Write music for all to enjoy, perform, play your favourite sport, support and assist others in any and all ways-because now you have an opportunity to do so.  No more military and military spending, no defence needed, no boarders to keep you in or keep you out. We are one and equal, in all ways, to all that exist.

This is life! What we are existing as now , is that life? No, that is survival, suffering and premature death for most, and that is greed and selective hearing/seeing/feeling of the elite.

Life, is what many people at Desteni are busy investigating and preparing for, by creating a truly compassionate, benevolent alternative to the money system that now powers and controls the world.

Equal Money, join us. EqualMoney.Org.