Posts Tagged ‘(New York)’

There are two main reasons why I could hear the Desteni message.

First, there were many things I suppressed from childhood and young adulthood that Desteni spoke about in a common sense way that I found to be validating and awakened my, long since abandoned, sense of  self-trust.  Why do we blatantly ignore the suffering and death of so many millions of helpless children and obviously vulnerable people in our world?  Why do we not change our systems of economy and distribution of food and goods and services so this is corrected?  Why do we throw our hands in the air and say it is impossible to feed/take care of each other as one family? Why do people get pissed off when I try to talk about it? Why do we not see the evil of capitalism? Why do we spend trillions of dollars on an arms race that can never be ‘won’?  Why is ‘God’ unfair? Why do we die? Why is it not ‘right’ to question ‘God’?  Does God want children born with cerebral palsy? Why should I think/accept this is a loving God? Who’s God is ‘right’?   Why don’t the people who live with extreme abundance share with others the have nothing  and say one should learn and earn, yet they pass down this wealth from generation to generation-through a bull shit excuse called ‘birthright’?  Why don’t we change the rules to what is best for all ? I could go on and on and on.

Desteni does not manipulate and discuss these and several other issues with a silver tongue or kid gloves, neither in self interest. This group tackles these ‘difficult’ issue head on, no mincing of words. I appreciated that right away and felt empowered because I wanted answers to the devastation I saw in my world. Desteni does not offer information without a solution, I appreciated that too.  Desteni advocates for an Equal Money System to be implemented in our world.  Equality, real equality. Ok, I thought, I’ll keep reading and listening to these video interviews. Some of the interviews were done through a portal. The reason I had no problem with the portal, after I watched a few and accepted they were valid, is my second reason I could hear the Desteni message, which I will discuss shortly.

I watched the Jesus interviews and Audrey Hepburn interviews first. I have not reviewed them for awhile but what sticks with me is they were both consistent with the main message.  They both spoke about self responsibility and that human beings had ‘missed the mark’ regarding what is important in life-we have life ‘upside down’. Basically, that each person is responsible for the mess we have created here on earth, as a whole, and that each and every one must face themselves, see/be aware of self, apply self forgiveness and walk the self corrective path in each moment of each breath, if we are to make the changes necessary to survive.

Jesus said we are all the same, including himself, although he came to earth with a knowing and understanding and ‘seeing’ ability that we do not have, at this time . Unfortunately, his simple message of ‘love they neighbor as thyself’ and ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ has not been heeded.  Now that all made sense to me. Audrey Hepburn drove home for me that, I too, am guilty, by participation and acceptance, of all the worlds current problems. I wanted to point fingers, still do, and blame and hate and be angry but as I learn to stand as one as all as equal this does not make sense and must be stopped, within myself first, that is my responsibility.

The second reason I listened to Desteni was I had experienced problems with my mind. I had experienced/heard voices in my head and listened to them until I was quite insane. I could not sleep and was barely able to function. I medicated myself with alcohol but then became an alcoholic. These voices seemed to ‘know’ things that were impossible and predicted things that quickly came true, several unexplainable things occurred to me over the years, the voices/communication terrified me at night so I also took sleep medication. I was able to ‘pull my self back together’ over a number of years so I was, once again, a  fully functional human being but subsequently questioned the sanity of ‘believing in/worshiping/trusting’ a creator that could produce such a fuck up. It was not that ‘difficult’ to become broken after all, it was not such extreme behavior that led to my ‘sickness’. I had obsessed, gone into, delved into my mind too deeply is all. Not suggesting that is the proper thing to do, of course it is not, but I thought no wonder so many people are mentally ill!  And so many people sadly kill themselves when hearing voices. So tragic and unecessary. I stopped the voices by simply stopping my mind=I did not listen to thoughts!  The booze helped tremendously ( sober 8 years now) and then belief in a ‘higher power’=spiritualism but mostly I did not listen to my mind and engage in the act of ‘thinking’ and it literally stopped the insanity. This occurred slowly over several years. But then, the question, ‘ what and why had this happened to me?’

I never went the medical-traditional route. They have little understanding of the mind. Thank god I didn’t. I would have been labled schizophrenic and given pills. I understand I self medicated. And I’m sure years of therapy with people who do not know about the mind!  They would try to ‘figure it out’ my mind/the mind.  I would have felt humiliated and ‘less than’. Desteni has make me  realize I am whole now, I need not ‘ascend’ any spiritual steps, I need not listen to or ‘figure out’ my mind.

So when I found the Desteni site I soon discovered they spoke about and explained the mind!  What a huge relief to me to find out I wasn’t crazy and wasn’t broken or I hadn’t crossed some spiritual line that was sacred. I was completely validated in that the mind is a program and everything in existence is in me already. Desteni has shown me that I had accessed -by mistake- thoughts that have been programmed into me and that it is not my ‘fault’ but it is my responsibility to stop the mind as it is not ‘life’ and is in fact what has caused all the fuck ups in this world through participating in thoughts, feelings and emotions. I do not need to be a slave to my ‘personality’ or my pre-programmed life, that is not who I am.

I am life ‘here’ in this moment of breath and I am learning to live this way. It is a process that is challenging but giving my life meaning beyond anything I ever imagined. I am becoming free of what I thought I was slave to: society, religion, being a woman in a man’s world, feeling alone in what I considered an insane world, fear of death, fear of poverty-or more accurately being middle class slave, addiction, fear of standing up/speaking up, fear of life, fear of myself-not being able to trust myself .

I trust myself more and more. Desteni has given me this, invaluable!

Thank you Desteni. I stand with you. I am one vote for an Equal Money System and World Equality!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that magic-quantum time is possible. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I could handle reality in quantum time (instant manifestation of a thought or the spoken word). I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an energetic reaction of fear when I think of actually being responsible for quantum time, lol I’d have the whole world gone a ‘poof’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as and within continual timeloops as time as energy, going in circular within life as I exist in and as the mind, never slowing down enough to be a real creator of my world/reality but running in circles, no matter if I do things ‘differently’, with always the same outcome.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continually add more and more knowledge and information in and as my mind and not consider it is how I use this information-move and effect an outcome with and as it- (not whether I understand it) that is key to not ending up back at the beginning, over and over to infinity, so not really expanding, becoming, creating myself beyond what /who I am now .

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by fear 1000 times a day as I think, ‘damn, I’m getting older, I look older, I am tired because I’m older, I’m gaining weight because I’m older now, my hair is more grey, my knee hurts because of my age as older, I shouldn’t do x because I am older now, the women at the school are younger, they look better, I’ll move to a smaller house with no mortgage because I’m getting older, …… ( Note: these thoughts are layered…but they are they, it is indeed extensive!) so forever being enslaved/trapped in my mind in a story, sequence of pre-programmed events of a ‘lifetime’ and never being /experiencing/creating LIFE as me , who I am ‘here’ in each breath, as one and equal to all that exist!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as a picture in a picture world and myself as a story in a timeline, as a seed with the timeline rolled up within it (taken from a Desteni vlog, lol, fascinating) and as the timeline unravels and the seed grows, it indeed has an end, and I as the story, end… who made that nasty bit up?!  Lol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the patterns my mind has trapped me into,  closed patterns, as in a circle, not really learning/growing/evolving but compromising myself more and more, letting ‘things beyond my control’ go because I am powerless, and after all people don’t like/won’t like me ‘if I’m like that ‘ as in difficult to be around because I question the way human beings exist on this planet–because I am getting older and only have so much time, and apparently ‘energy’ so I get tired more, so ‘let the young ones change the world’ too late for me’ and I abdicate my responsibility for the state of this world as a protector/stuart of this world because of a goddamn story line/timeline to which I am bound and ‘helpless’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let myself be duped by my ego and directed by fear of loss, believing in my ‘personality’, thinking, ‘I don’t want them not to like me, I’ll be lonely, unhappy, desolate, friendless and perhaps I will need them and I may become poor and homeless and OMG I NEED them, I’ll shut up.’ and so not speak up about the atrocities I see in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that time-quantum time or earth/space time-is all energy and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I cannot live without energy, I am energy, I am light’ regulating the movement of and as knowledge and information / the unfolding of events in space/time within vibration=energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the system of karma, as consequence, exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have karma exist within and as me manifesting as knee pain/problems in my left knee and somewhat in my right knee as carrying the past of relationships with boyfriends and my ex-husband. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to have karma exist within and as me manifesting as knee pain/problems in my left knee and somewhat in my right knee as carrying the past of relationships with family members and friends, employers, acquaintances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to believe that karma exists and I must manifest consequence within my world as my ‘experiences’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I must face my karma at the point of death, as in spiritual ascension-to ‘go to the next level of enlightenment’- instead of facing  the consequence of my actions responsibly ‘here’ in each moment, which is common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can achieve some certain ‘vibration’ level so that I magically do not have to face my karma self honestly, in each ‘moment’ ‘here’ on earth, in a responsible way that is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not face myself in self honestly and face my fears as to why I ‘hide’ and not ‘look’ at what I have created in the moment as karma as consequence in each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want a savior/magic/god/master/husband/boss to do the dirty work for me, ‘fix’ me, so that I do not have to face myself, in self honesty, face my fears head on without hiding/in full view, face my karma all alone, so it is ‘easy’ and I can continue hiding, resulting in me forever being subject to a master/slave relationship, bound in dependency and so not living self honestly as one and equal to all other human beings and existence in it’s entirety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and to believe I am too tired, frightened, weak, small, stupid, old to face my karma by myself and to eliminate this system in each moment ‘here’, as I birth myself as life in the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and to believe I am ‘special’, important, different, deserving, more ‘enlightened’ than others, divine, because of acquired knowledge and information ,when in self honesty I am only lost in ‘delusions of grandeur’ believing I am now no longer subject to ‘The Law of Karma’ in each moment of creation as life ‘here’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear for my children and husband thinking , ‘I need to ‘save’ them because they do not know about living in self honestly ‘here’ in each moment with breath and must face their consequence as karma and manifest that consequence’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear in not trusting my process and trusting that I am a living example to my children and husband and ‘telling’ them /badgering them about the Desteni I Process only pushes them away. Instead I accept and allow myself to be patient with my  process of self realization and self awareness and through ‘standing’ in each moment in self honesty, be a living example to all human beings, in equality and not in separation as in ‘specialness’ of family system existent on earth at this time.

No more ‘Occupy Wall Street’  form of protesting with the implementation of an Equal Money System (EMS).  As we have seen throughout history, this form of protesting does not accomplish what it sets out to do; bring about lasting and effective social change in creating a more just society.  It does make the world sit up and take notice that many people desire change for economic reform however, if a dictatorship in brought down, it is inevitably  replaced by military rule and eventually another form of dictatorship and in the democratic nations protesting on this scale has not resulted in sufficient action to change society systems  to enrich the lives of those so desperate for change.

So the lives of the average person stays the same or worsens as inflation increases, the rich still have the power and thus continue to get richer and the poor get poorer. Been there, done that and now we can buy the OWS T-shirt.

The ‘Occupy’ movements around the world have mostly been shut down, the government officials stating, ‘Ok, we tolerated your little display, now get out of the public park  and shut up. We have christmas shopping to do.’  The elite, powerful and rich do not care ‘enough’ about those who are suffering = they don’t give a shit. We have to act to enact change because they will not, they happen to like their slaves, which is ‘us’.

In an EMS no public protests will exist because all basic needs will be provided for. All will receive the same (not all look the same!), which will be all one needs; food, a home, required clothing, furnishings, all essential utilities such as heat, communication devices, transportation, education, vacation, medical services and supplies, etc. If one desires something ‘extra’ that is not a necessity, one can do physical labor to earn enough credits to acquire it!

No need to put yourself in harms way from the elements, police spraying pepper in your eyes or beating you and dragging you off to jail, government officials and the newscasters spewing nasty shit about you  just because you demand a dignified life for yourself and your family, the ‘public’ yelling at you to get off your lazy ass and get to work like the rest of them when you know damn well the cards were all stacked against you from day one and there is nothing you can do to ‘get out of jail’.

You have been heard, you are heard, please investigate EqualMoney.Org and Desteni.Org    Please join us.

Together we are millions and millions. Together we are strong. Equality IN FACT:  Nothing else is acceptable or tolerable.

Why do we produce weapons? Because of a perception of ‘not enough’ to ‘go around’ because of the perception of ‘ownership’,  thereby the need to ‘defend’ what one has purchased, brought about by the money system. Supply and demand is controlled by the government and corporations to facilitate competition and profit, to control prices and control the ‘market’ which is you, the consumer . If we all had what we needed there would be nothing to ‘protect’ in the form of ownership, no ‘lack’ mentality, no fear for survival and  no competition. There would be no lack and therefore no need to be suspicious of each other.

The reason why there is so much manipulation and mistrust between nations is the need for survival and we use resources , technology and agriculture to trade through the exchange of  money. The current starting point is not what is best for all or coming from a place of ‘one world’ ‘one race=earthling’ but of separation through ‘differences’ in race, religion, geography, class, physical appearance. This needs to change-the starting point needs to change!

When we consider each life equally it will be natural to examine the consequences of the mass production of weapons.  Whether it is a hand gun, a muti-million dollar jet or a nuclear bomb, it is clear the intention to human life is to harm and the cost incalculable.

A hand gun could be considered to be for ‘protection’ ,yes but why do you need protection? Most likely because you fear the theft of your property or money and this is because of the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’.  Many people resort to stealing as a last resort to get money for necessities, drugs (addiction) and some through greed.  Theft cannot be tolerated but when one has everything they need it will be reduced to almost nil.


According to an article from Global, world spending on nuclear weapons will surpass $1 Trillion dollars per decade. That’s  $1,000,000,000.00  every 10 years. Taken from the same article:

Building upon the two definitive studies of U.S. nuclear weapons spending (Brookings Institution’s Atomic Audit: The Costs and Consequences of U.S. Nuclear Weapons Since 1940 and Carnegie Endowment for International Peace’s Nuclear Security Spending: Assessing Costs, Examining Priorities), this report casts a wider net to capture the entire world’s spending on nuclear weapons programs. The principal finding: a massive expenditure will be made over the next decade.

Chart 1: Total Military and Nuclear Weapons Spending 2010-2011  Note: figures in billions of US dollars

Source: Arms Control Association

Stop the madness, feed your brothers and sisters, house them, hold them as your own. Are we blind, have we no hearts, just bullshit at Christmas?  What would Jesus do?  Love they neighbour as theyself.  Who is going to stop the insanity of this dangerous waste of resources, money, time, ‘brain’ power, manpower and life itself– IF NOT YOU?  No one. I wish it was not true. Please investigate EqualMoney.Org.   Join Us to build a world in oneness and equality for all!

Well that’s capitalism for you! Find a gap in the market and fill it. If it isn’t good for people but it makes you rich, who cares. If it doesn’t blatantly harm anyone (right away, not that is obvious) marvelous. Off you go, fill your coffers which is translates to ‘ take advantage of the middle and lower income population’.  A clear example of this is the fairly recent production of cheap glasses, perscription and reading glasses.

I wear contact lenses, I never saw the point in spending money on having both glasses and contacts so I was shocked and dismayed when my son, needing glasses for the first time at 20, went glasses hunting. It seems an average price for a  pair of glasses is about $350-$400 dollars. OMG I don’t have that kind of ‘extra’ money just lying around. Also new to me was how the frame and the lense is quoted separately, ‘well, the frame runs about 150 and the lense will be about 250’. WTF are you going to do with just the frame or just the lense, sounds scamish. So I went online and found some sites that were cheap, glasses-frame and lense!- for about 150. Is the quality as good, I bet not. I don’t feel good about it but he’ll have to buy better ones himself when he’s finished university and working or after his summer job. That’s just the way it is.

I cannot stand the irony when people with money, who have no idea what it is like to worry about one late bill one month of their entire life, let alone  not be able to pay your bills on time for most of your adult life, criticize us who work hard for very little, ‘why doesn’t someone in your mother’s house get you a decent pair of  glasses?’ How astute, the reason is because you are the only one who really has my son’t best interest at heart and we’re all just a bunch of selfish and stupid morons.

I buy my reading glasses at the dollar store, they cost well, one dollar. Perhaps it hasn’t been a very good idea because I notice my eye sight worsening. It’s a practical accounting dilemma.  Not smart but there just isn’t enough at the end of the pay cheque so we cut where we can.

In an equal money system there will no longer exist competition  as all goods will be available to all people equally. Profit and loss will therefore be eliminated. All products will be made to last with the best possible available materials. Only quality in an Equal Money System and available for all.

No more taking advantage of a ‘niche in the market’ by making a sub-standard product that will break down within a year (or less) and possibly do harm to a fellow human being- for profit!  No taking advantage of the large under privileged group of people to get rich and for ego, ‘Oh, look how successful I am. Look how important I am..blah, blah, blah.’  That’s deplorable behavior!

Only the best quality eye wear produced will be acceptable as we learn to exist as all as one as equals. Does your child deserve that? We are all one family of earthlings. Let’s start acting as such. Please investigate Equal Money.Org

Self-Corrective Statements

Realisations to be lived: I realize I have always had infatuations with male authority figures in my life, every boss I ever had. I realize I associated this figure- dominant, strong-as someone who can take care of me, abdicating my own responsibility to stand as one and equal in this world. I realize I am married and will not deceive my husband by doing anything against that which we have agreed upon, within our marriage agreement. I realize I am equal to GR and do not need to sexualize and then impose/associate/project feelings that exist within me onto him or any other ‘older’ male figure in my life. I realize my feelings are my responsibility to address within self-honesty and self-forgiveness.

Practical scripts in relation to each trigger-point:

•        Whenever I go into an energetic reaction of lust, need for excitement/wanting- like something is missing or guilt, when thinking, ‘I would love to have sex with this man’ I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself let the image of a large ‘masculine’ man act as a trigger point within me controlling my thoughts and my body. Instead I bring myself out of the mind of illusion and back to reality of the physical with each ‘here’ breath. I continue with my day.

•        Whenever I am directed by an emotion of inferiority, helplessness, hopelessness, weakness and feelings of lust and greed when I think of GR’s age as in an authority/father figure, I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to let a man’s outward appearance as in age and believing he is ‘handsome’ direct my experience ‘here’ on earth. I no longer accept and allow myself to see myself as someone who needs protection, to be taken care of  and so submit myself to sexual practices of his fancy for this protection=money. Instead I remind myself I am not my mind but a physical human being and use breath in each moment of awareness to remain with what is real. I am grateful as I continue with reality.

•        Whenever I am possess by an energetic reaction of neediness, greed, lust, at thought I would like to ‘be with/have sex with a man like GR’ I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself  ‘impressed’ influenced by the perception of one’s power, seeming commanding capable, confident but also kind and desiring to attach myself to this person because of these qualities I lack, to complete me = love. Instead I accept and allow myself to create these qualities within myself, as I am life, I create and I am in a process of self-perfection and within that be in a marriage/agreement as and offering the other to share with a whole person not a half. I bring myself back to the physical with breath, remind myself to be grateful for this moment and continue with the task at hand.

•        Whenever I am directed by lust and neediness as an energetic reaction from hearing or remembering/fantasizing about GR’s voice tonality  I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to let a sound lure me/seduce me into a feeling which causes a physical change in my body, that can harm me. Instead I remind myself I can enjoy someone’s voice in the moment when it is real and enjoy sex by –not being in my mind-but remaining ‘here’ and staying physical. I remind myself I am happily married and bring myself out of my mind and back to the physical and carry on with my day.


Realisations to be lived:

I realize it is easy for JW to ‘look’ ‘good’ as he has lots of money so can have the best money can buy for health and well being and my husband is slogging it out living paycheque to paycheque. I realize beauty is only skin deep and fades with time for all human beings, so JW’s good looks are temporary. I realize I am attracted to the idea of cars and helicopters and exotic vacation and fun/worry free sex and not the ‘kinder/gentler‘ side of this person as I have that in my life already. I realize my fantasy about this person is totally self-interest based as I would want his money to promote my music and enjoy meeting/being entertained by all the talent he has around him.

Practical scripts in relation to each trigger-point:

Whenever I  am directed the emotions of helplessness and hopelessness , inferiority, greed  or the feelings of love and lust, need for excitement=escape my reality when thinking about /or watching JW and I am attracted to his physical appearance and age I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to be possessed by these thoughts, feelings and emotions holding me slave and taking me away from who I am in this here moment so I cannot know and express myself as life. Instead I bring my awareness back to the physical , out of my mind, and to here with my breath and focus on what is real and participate fully in my day.

Whenever I am possessed by thoughts of being with JW and I go into an energetic reaction of lust, excitement, greed, envy, competition because of my attraction to his voice, as in English accent, I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to live inside my head of fantasies and illusionary thoughts that can harm me. Instead I bring myself back ‘here’ to the physical and focus on my life-what is real-and before me. I remind myself to be grateful for my family and all I have as in food, shelter, warmth in the winter, friends and clothing.

Whenever I have thoughts that I wish I could be intimate with JW because of his poise of being calm, strong and commanding or going an energetic reaction of lust and fantasy about a life with him I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to project these perceived  ‘attractive’ qualities outward but instead  live these qualities as and within myself in self honesty and awareness. I bring myself out of my mind and back to the physical and see how I can appropriately apply these qualities practically within my life in a way that is best for all and I focus on the task at hand.

Whenever I am directed by an energetic reaction of greed and lust and fear of survival at the thought , ‘I wish I could be with JW, he is rich and famous, and my life could be relaxed and fun/exciting  and I would have time for musical expression’, I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to be controlled by fear of loss = survival, living inside my mind of thoughts, feeling and emotions forever destined to remain trapped in timeloops as my starting point is always from the past and therefore I create the past , as in lack again and again. Instead I bring myself out of my head and back ‘here’ to the physical and remind myself change in ‘space/time’ takes time and I can practice patience and trust myself. I focus on my day and continue with breath in each moment.

Whenever I am directed by and possessed by thoughts, feeling and emotions about JW’s successful music promotion and how it could help me as a songwriter I stop, I breathe. I realize that is not a reality and not possible for several reasons and a waste of my time and these feelings could harm me. I no longer accept and allow myself to live in fantasy but instead bring myself out of my mind and back to what is real , ‘here’ in the physical and walk with breath focussing on what is before me, grateful for my experience ‘here’.  


Whenever I am directed by a feeling of excitement, sexual arousal, lust, or the emotions of fear and greed about my perceived lack of money by seeing R’s sports car or another ‘good’ looking man’s sports car I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to be limited by my minds programmed response to an expensive sports car. Instead I remind myself I am not that programmed response and I understand money is a trap and not real but a tool used for trade and it in fact causes much human suffering. I bring myself out of my mind of thoughts ‘I want him and his car for myself’ , feelings of lust and excitment , and emotions of greed and fear, knowing all these can harm me. Instead I remind myself to be grateful,l for I have all I need, but that ‘none are free until all are free’ and I get on with my day.