Posts Tagged ‘religion’

Why even talk about this? Isn’t anything private anymore?

Well, the thing is, we are all here. If we are honest and take an assessment of our world, we see much sexual dysfunction, violence, abduction even, all around sex. Yes folks, you don’t need to die to go to hell anymore, its right here on planet earth in 2012!

Why is the world like this ? How did this happen?

So what, you ask? What does that have to do with masturbation, it is my ‘right’, it is my body, I can think what I want to ,I am not hurting anyone.

In this fascinating account, which is the free 30 minute introduction of a series of audios on masturbation, it is explained how our masturbation-how it is currently practiced by human beings- becomes a mind possession through the participation of images in our minds, our fantasies. These fantasies become an energetic addiction that ‘grow’ become more extreme to feed upon itself to satisfy the desire.  It goes on from there.

It is, indeed, not harmless to you or others. We are all connected, as we are all here.

Be good to yourself, free yourself, learn to pleasure yourself without giving up intimacy with another…and so much more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYUatzmcyDY&feature=youtu.be

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This is another one of those ‘spiritual’ ‘self help’ books I devoured, ‘A Course in Miracles’.  It was channeled by Helen Schucman, a New York City Professor of Medical Psychology, in the late ’70’s. Just flipping through the book I am dismayed. The amount of content (600 pages, I read through 2-3 times) and the amount of deception in this book is massive. I do not suggest it was intentionally misleading. I now understand, through my association and particiaption with Desteni and the Desteni I Process, that it was her mind speaking to her.

Certain human beings in this world were pre-programmed to recite-have this information ‘come through’ from the other side, deliberately, to keep human beings infinitely screwed to believe in a ‘higher power’ and never become aware of their own ‘power’ and true unlimited nature as one and equal with the physical, as in the ‘living word’.

A point I want to make in common sense first is, although reading this book in earnest for years, nothing changed in my life, nothing of value came as a result of reading/studying it. It did nothing, in fact to practically assist my life and world in any valuable way. It did provide some ‘comfort’ that I needed, as in ‘oh well, my life sucks , I’m a total failure, but it doesn’t matter, cause apparently this world is not important. I can hold my head high because it is not materially/physically what is important, but that ‘god’ loves me and I am growing in my consciousness and learning to ascend this plane and move on to another, better existence, out there somewhere.’ Lol, it’s all about me , don’t ya know, all of these spiritual books feed our ego’s and tell us not to concern ourselves with others/our fellow man or the physical, that which we actually are and that which is really here!

Now, between being an alcoholic (sober 8 years now) and delving too far into my mind, with these spiritual books, I experienced some pretty freaky shit. Saw/expereinced several unexplainable  occurances/incidences.  I realize many will say, oh that’s ’cause you were intoxicated’. No, not while intoxicated, I am quite aware of the difference. Some of these unexplainable experiences were quite benevolent, so I did experience several ‘miracles’ however, point is …nothing happened to improve my life in any practical way.

*******************************************

Ok, so I literally just opened this book once at random. On page 388:chapter title, ‘I need do nothing’. It goes on to say:

Verse 1: “You still have too much faith in the body a source of strength. What plans do you make that do not involve its comfort or protection or enjoyment in some way? This makes the body an end and not a means in your interpretation, and this always means you still find sin attractive. No one accepts Atonement for himself who still accepts sin as his goal. You have thus not met your ONE responsibility. Atonement is not wecomed by those who prefer pain and destruction.”

WHF, so we have this crappy experience here on earth for some future event, some meeting in an alternate reality ‘heaven’ with some being we have to bow down to? My knees are pretty soar now, here on earth! What about my life and my children’s life right now, right here? My body is here, it is real, I am in it, I am it. This text is stating outright my physical body is a ‘means’ and not an end. How ridiculous, all one needs to do is the exact opposite of what the chapter title states; move! One step at a time,  one breath at a time. That, my friend, will heal our planet for real.

“I need do nothing” Well , I did nothing but exist on faith and guess what, nothing happened! As Einstein said, ‘Nothing happens until something moves’,  that is just a fact, no mumbo jumbo is going to ever change that. I needed to get my head out of the clouds and take practical steps to assist myself and my family but instead I trusted this source. It was, afterall,  ‘channeled’ so this communication/being/intelligence that came through must know something that I don’t, right?

This passage also suggests that taking care of my physical body is a ‘sin’/wrong/not what ‘god’ wants me to do and lists: comfort, protection, enjoyment as examples of this wrongdoing. This makes me furious but I will stop and breathe. Ok, people it is perfectly acceptable to want comfort, protection and enjoyment in your life and for your physicality and to take proper care of yourself, why else would life be worth living for god’s sake? Didn’t someone once say: ‘Your body is your temple’?  That makes a little more sense to me.

This stating that the body is just a means to a supposed ‘future’, greater purpose-after death- only serves to justify complacent self interest in doing nothing while others suffer needlessly, being occupied in our minds and not standing up and moving to take steps to end starvation, war, capitalism, the rape of human beings and the planet, world wide poverty, animal abuse and the many other atrocities currently taking place on earth.

The word ‘one’ was highlight. So my ‘one’ responsibility is atonement?

According to dictionary.com March 10/12: Atonement:  the doctrine concerning the reconciliation of God and humankind, especially as accomplished through the life, suffering, and death of Christ.

What a load! Let’s see how much you’re concerned with your ‘reconciliation’ with god and not the ‘comfort..protection..enjoyment’ of your body if we take away your food, your home, your safety, your money!  You would do everything in your power to get your basic needs met first before you sat crossed legged and closed your eyes and meditated/knelt and prayed to some invisible force! So when your belly is full, you have warmth and a bed, the safety of a home, money to go to the odd movie or take a vacation, and on and on, then the so-called ‘spiritualists’ vainly claim they don’t need the body. While we do not do this for another NOW, millions do not have their basic needs met in this very moment.  Shame on us.

Miracles and  spirituality are nothing but excuses for mankind to sit on it’s ass, pretend to be blind to the needs of others and worse, pretend it doesn’t matter. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil =  Be Evil.

That was just opening the book one time, at random.

Ideas and beliefs exist only in the mind and are not real. The physical is real. Get Real. Investigate DesteniIProcess.Com

If this makes sense to you, please investigate:  Desteni.Org   &   EqualMoney.Org

Join us in walking, breath by breath, towards a better life for all, in this reality, to bring heaven on earth in fact, for all equally -no ascension required- through an Equal Money System and an awareness of what we will accept and allow, on our awesome earth.

I was stunned to find out that a major reason there is so many millions dying of starvation in African countries each year is that, of the 10 countries that the Nile River runs through, only 1 of these countries has the ‘right’ to use the water from the river for irrigation/farming/transportation or any other purpose! This is because Egypt supposedly ‘owns’ the water ‘rights’ of the Nile River.

As if anyone really ‘owns’ any part of mother earth. It is merely a concept, an idea someone came up with to enforce safety measures against those that intrude and steal or more often, simple greed, to keep all for oneself or ones ‘country’. Why cannot we not keep the safety measures but forgo the unfair idea of ownership? Answer, we can!

If you think of two children fighting over a toy, the one child crying ‘it’s mine’ , he only ever gets to ‘keep’ it  if he is bigger/stronger, or someone else (the adult) intervenes and says what the ‘rule’ is.

It seems back in 1925 there was a treaty signed between Britian, who held Dominion over much of the African continent=came with weapons and murdered people to steal the wealth of the African countries and take it back ‘home’ to Britiian. Back then, Egypt and Sudan were Britain’s source of cotton and Britian knew that their rate of production was only possible through the Nile and the use of massive irrigation systems. So in this treaty Britian and Egypt decided that the Nile belonged to Egypt AND and that no-one is allowed to do anything with the water that, as a consequence, will lessen the amount of water that ends up in Egypt, thereby insuring Britian’s cotton crop production.

That’s right, they just decided=they made it up! No complicated economic theory needed here, they did this  just because they could, because their stick was bigger than the other countries sticks. Just like the two little children fighting over the toy, they were bigger and stronger so got their way. It’s all about power and control and greed.

But supposedly they based this decision on the fact that Egypt has a 7000 year history with the Nile, way back starting with the Pharoas so historically and traditionally belongs to them. Well, we have to stop referring to history and the past to make decisions based on today. Instead, we must use common sense and compassion to decide upon an approach that is best for all life, which in this case would be all countries through which the Nile flows, are able to use this natural resource to better their economy and support the population!

Another reasons for this decision was it had been determined that Egypt was the country which had made most efficient use of the Nile, in economic terms. So what? Are we not all life? Does a newborn baby today deserve to suffer starvation and die in agony because 85 years ago it’s birth country did not make as efficient use of the Nile as Egypt? We are talking here about an invisible dividing line (again made up by human beings) separating  the land and people into ‘countries’. It is not in fact ‘real’, we make it real by our agreement to participate. Also, let not the fact escape us, that ‘efficient use’ of the Nile meant that Egypt produced cotton for Britian which they could profit from and provide clothing for their people, total self interested motives. The invisible lines have to come down as we wake up to the fact that, this approach, is not what is best for all, as life one and equal. No hoarding commodities, such as cotton, so you can control supply and demand, thereby controlling prices at the expense of millions of others.

Can you honestly look in the mirror or in your child’s eyes and say your child does not deserve to have a comfortable, enjoyable, dignified life but the child across the invisible line=boarder, does? There is a difference is the quality of life because there is a different starting point of the two children, this is inequality. I am not suggesting we eliminate boarders as they provide logistical reference points so we can communicate and move about on our earth. I am suggesting we understand that boarders are nothing more than that–lines we have made up for practical purposes. We do not need to kill each other over imaginary lines! One planet needs one goal; decisions based upon the principal of what is best for all life, period.

Sadly, Ethiopia, which was the only African country that was never colonized, simply had ‘no legal representation’ and thus no say in the matter when this treaty was being written and signed, while over 80% if the water that ends up in Egypt originates from Ethiopia! Alot of the countries, when the treaty was being signed, were also too busy focusing on just surviving, so they didn’t really pay attention to the treaty or started thinking of some magnificent irrigation system as they simply did not have that luxury.

After independence from Britian, a few African countries declared the treaty as void but the treaty was never really challenged and nothing was every really done about it because the other countries were scared of Egypt’s military force, also knowing that Egypt still has strong ties with Britain’s, a powerful nation indeed.

Of course, many countries in order to develop, need these type of natural resources to support themselves, just as Egypt did with the Nile, which brings a lot of advantage in terms of agriculture (to irrigate the land in the case of the Nile) and transportation.

So every year Ethiopia and other countries get millions of dollars into the country as ‘food aid’. Also, realize, that when this investment as food is eaten, it is gone. The problem remains, charity is not effective as a solution to starvation.  Crazy, when there is the Nile flowing right through their land!  A sickening consequence of the Nile River ‘ownership’ issue:  wasted food and food aid.

To add to the insanity no one is allowed to assist these devastated African countries in the investment of dams and irrigation system and hydro power  which will actually help them get somewhere to improve the standard of living and create their own food source! And then the few farmers who do work their farms to produce food – can’t get their food sold because its cheaper to get free food aid. So they end up not being able to sell anything and end up joining the food aid line. Ironic.

There exist warehouses in Ethiopia FULL of food, grown right there in Ethiopia. And a warehouse next door FULL FULL with bags of food with the American flag on it, food aid food. So all the food these poor farmers worked so hard for, just rots away and then you end up with a whole nation of people being dependent on food aid. Insanity plain and simple, theft of  9 African countries ability to stand on their own feet, live with dignity, provide sustenance and jobs for their population.

Investigage the solution here:

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DesteniIProcess.Com

I bought and read many spiritual ‘self help’ books over the last 20 years. Probably 30-40 books. There is no doubt they provided a band-aid, some temporary relief to a confused, ‘searching’ woman needing some meaning for her existence. There was never anything I read that brought clarity to who or what I was or why I was alive, the meaning of my life or life in it’s entirety.

‘The Power of Intention’ *1 by Wayne Dyer, was one such book. I don’t have anything personally against the author, in fact I believe he is probably sincere, misguided and ineffective (except for his own personal financial gain) but sincere. I am just as guilty of ‘wanting’ that manifestation of wealth for self interested reasons and greed as anyone is. I bought it hook, line and sinker, didn’t materialize for me though. I am now walking a self corrective process at Desteni, which will result in self purification and self perfection, one breath at a time, so as to never live in self interest again but to consider and act in accordance to what is best for all life in all ways. I believe Mr. Dyer would admit, if put to the wall, he knew, for the vast majority, it would not be successful but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that he would want it to ‘work’ for his readers/followers.

I was going to look for passages I had highlighted but just looking at the chapter titles is enough to discuss here why I now believe this book provides no useful purpose to the life of human beings.

chapter 7: It is my Intention to: Respect Myself at all Times.

In itself, this statement is not incorrect as a preferred way to live. Respect is actually more real and powerful than the idea of love. It is paramount in a compassionate society and in any relationship, be it with yourself or another. However, without even going into what Dyer writes within the chapter itself, he is forgetting and /or ignoring one tinsy, winsy fact; the millions of human beings who cannot even get enough food to eat today let alone go to a bookstore and purchase his book. So where does he get off posing as some spiritual leader, someone we are to look to for guidance to show us/be a role model for a ‘decent’ human being.  As far as I can see he is a muti-millionaire who writes about ideas, basically positive thinking books, while he ignores the suffering of the world’s poor and disadvantaged.

How is someone born into poverty (with no advantages to take practical steps to get out of that poverty) even to begin to fathom that statement. Many people do not have the opportunity to attend school, receive proper healthcare, nutrition, housing-these are just the basics one needs to survive let alone be concerned with respecting themselves. Actually, it is understood by most people, that one deserves respect automatically as life. But time and experience in this world proves to them otherwise. They do not receive respect, one and equal to the author, as a fellow human being. They are ignored and left to suffer and then die, unnoticed by the ‘haves’.

Chapter 11: It is My Intention to: Live a Stress-Free, Tranquil Life.

Really? And is this accomplished by ‘manifesting’ money and all the goodies life has to offer by meditation, prayer, positive thinking…hmmm…business smarts, a business aptitude, the right connections, the right education, the right family, money to get things started/moving? Yup, all of the above and only a few ‘lucky’ ones make it at that.

It is never my intention to become so smart mouthed when writing these blogs but honestly, I just get so pissed off! Does Mr. Dyer assume that some in this world are ‘special’ , ‘blessed’, ‘fortunate’ and others…well…just not. So it is the responsibility of the ‘blessed’ ones to spread the love and light message and ‘give generously to charity’. How has this helped the world? It has not. Again, the idea of living a stress free and tranquil life is desirable but I do not see any results that his methods are working but for a few and more importantly, at the expense of the many. Earth is increasingly polarized  between the rich and poor. Pretty hard to be tranquil when you are experiencing famine, watching your children wither away before your eyes and you are helpless to save them. Pretty hard to be stress free-or have the time to meditate on this idea-when you are facing eviction and you have lost your job and have a family to care for.

For humanity to live stress free and tranquil then all must be given all they need. However, perhaps I am off track, he does not speak about humanity, just the individual, self interest. Never is ‘what is best for all’ mentioned.

Chapter 10: It is my Intention to :Feel Successful and Attract Abundance into My Life.

Ah yes, there it is, the use of the almighty god of Energy! Specifically, this energy generation is designed to attract the real god of the human being-Money.

It’s just too ridiculous to go into detail but again how can one even start this process (I do get it- it’s a ‘fake it ’till ya make it’ approach as in; that’s what the universe wants/needs you to do, visualize etc, in order over time to ‘manifest’ your greedy desires) if one does not have the time or comfortable surrounding/home/bed/food ? It is not practical, it is not fair , it is not equal. Mr. Dyer, why do you ‘preach’ practices that people do not have equal access to? How does this assist and support human beings to solve any of the world’s very real and pressing problems? ‘Oh, it’s up to the universe, not I, I am a humble servant only’, is the kind of excuse you hear thrown out there.

So what’s the universe to do, pick and choose? No, my friend, it is us human beings, you and I, who are guilty of picking and choosing. The universe is neutral, as in ‘we are all one’. It is time for us to join the universe, in fact-for real, and not in some airy fairy way based on ‘feelings of love’ in your mind but walking breath by breath, with your feet firmly planted on mother earth and fix this bloody mess, in the physical!

Feed one another, clothe one another, heal one another, house one another = real love one another.

A teacher who walked this earth once said; ‘Love thy neighbor as thyself’,  I do not see this in action in this book.

I see, get incredibly rich off your fellow man, and help but 1% of your readers get incredibly rich too. Fuck the rest, I don’t see them, I don’t know them, I won’t think about them. I’ll meditate on ideas of bliss and beauty, love and light and create/manifest that- off your buck- in my own life, for my own family and let, nameless and faceless millions, starve, suffer, commit suicide, die. Why? Because one gets blinded by too much light. Time to go into the dark and dirty, get down and dirty and clean this shit up.

Hey…First Things First. Equal Money for all, so all may live a dignified, enjoyable life, not just some! Let’s stop being hypocrites.

Join us in building a new world, in which all can participate fully, over time, to create the ideals this book suggests.

Please investigate:        EqualMoney.Org          DesteniIProcess.Com              Desteni.Org

*1  The Power of Intention, By Wayne Dyer

Published By: Hay House Inc. February 2004, United States

What happens to children when they pass over from this physical dimension of earth? Why are they protected?

He did not embrace heaven, why?

What part are they playing in existence as a whole?

This is a fascinating account of a young boy who died of cancer at the age of 7, what he found on the other side and his understanding of what is going on in (what was) heaven and earth. He did find stability with other children that had passed.

Then something happened!

It was something ‘…we’ve all been waiting for…I knew, in a way, everything would be ok….’

‘The answer… to ourselves, to the return to ourselves…’

Enjoy this amazing story! http://youtu.be/yCFO2J4Ii7M

I was  a big Tolle fan, although not sure why as reading his books did not change me (made me feel warm and fuzzy/’safe’ for a while) or the world in any significant way as far as I can see. Interesting, we will need another ‘spiritual guru’ to come along in a few more years and package the same message again in different paper. Has anyone ever questioned this and done anything about it?

One argument I heard was ‘it’s suppose to be like this, each learning from their journey in their life, some suffering more than other, we all have a different lesson to learn.’ Really? Until the divide gets so enormous that the ‘poor’ masses storm the castle and kill the king and queen in disgust of their total lack of compassion for them. Even then, the patterns of human existance continue, round and round. There is no improvement as we have war, starvation, rape, etc. in abundance today as centuries ago.

So, abundance of the good stuff for the few and abundance of misery for the many.

I was flipping through Tolle’s ‘A New Earth’ before writing this blog and came across some sentences I had underlined a few years back. From page 290, ‘We are also learning that action, although necessary, is only a secondary actor in manifesting our external reality.  The primary factor in creation is consciousness. No matter how active we are, how much effort we make, our state of consciousness creates our world, and if there is no change on that inner lever, no amount of action will make any difference.’

Yes, we must start with self and create a internal change but it is not the change Tolle speak about here. I will get to that change a little further down.

First, it is quite ridiculous to suggest no amount of action will change the world. It is simply not true, a lie, and a convenient one so the ‘have’s’ can do nothing. He does, indeed sooth many of the world’s wealthy, guilty consciouness. No wonder Oprah loves this guy, these celebrities have millions and millions (some billions) so they throw some money at a charity, attend a few charitable functions and go to their ‘special’ place in their mind and ‘change the world’. WTF! The world does not change!  So the royalty of the U.S., the celebrities, have an ‘out’ in Tolle’s message.

Changing our consciousness will not change the world, or it would have done so already, with all the years of following Gods, angels, masters, thousands of spiritual books read, zillions of prayers/meditations put forth to the various higher powers believed in and nothing changes.

Stopping the mind, as in the conscious, sub-conscious, and unconscious will change the world, will change the human being.   I have experienced a malfunction of the mind called ‘mental illness’. You do not want to go there, however, I wanted to mention that, to assure you I know the mind is not what you believe it to be, it is not to be trusted as a benevolent part of you. Your dreams, visions, ‘ah ha’ moments are not from a loving creator/force in the universe you can trust. I realize that is shocking and ‘sad’.  Investigate Desteni.Org to learn the truth about the mind.

Ok, lets get back to ‘A New Earth’.  Again, I am quoting from a few lines I had highlighted when I read this book. According to Tolle, on page 269 ‘So be true to life by being true to your inner purpose. As you become present and thereby total in what you do, your actions become charged with spiritual power. At first there may be no noticeable change in what you do-only the how changes. Your primary purpose is now to enable consciousness to flow into what you do…there is now a deeper purpose that can only be found in the present, through the denial of time.’

How is being in the ‘now’ the ‘present’ a denial of time? It is not as it is directly connected to and in fact dependent upon  (to exist) the past and the future, which is time! It is deceptive, perhaps not purposefully so.

It is only by remaining ‘here’ in awareness, out of one’s mind in each moment of breath, that one is existing out of the construct of time.  Surely, Tolle himself has been living in the now for several years and must be charged with a shit load of ‘spiritual power’. To what end?  Is he making any headway changing our economic systems, changing the laws in our governments to ensure children are not used as slaves to produce goods western societies are so addicted to buying? Is he using this ‘spiritual power‘ to stop child pornography, perhaps for science to solve the problem of needed oil world wide or effectively spreading his message so many can get enough collective spiritual power to be significant for world peace?

No, he’ just getting richer from selling books and giving lectures. It’s all about self interest. He is spreading the message of the mind, the ‘consciousness’ to remain a slave to ‘feeling good’ in ‘peace’ while children carry guns, are held captive and used for labor and for sex. These children have no hope to experience a life anywhere near like he enjoys.

We don’t need a new earth, we need a new human being. 

We don’t need ‘spiritual power’, we need common sense. We know what is wrong. We know how to fix it. We can do this by rejecting self interest, once and for all and living, in each breath, what is best for all. Please join us in bringing heaven to earth. EqualMoney.Org   Desteni.Org

In 2012 and beyond we as a race, the human race, will be forced to face our religion of self; how we have been existing in self interest, in and as the mind.

Our excuse for ignoring the suffering of millions?  Survival of the fittest, apparently it is ok to just take care of myself/my family to any degree, even if I make a billion dollars I can ‘keep’ it and not share because I am superior/more ‘fit’ than my fellow man as I made/received more money=God on earth, than my fellow man. I have my private mind, so lots of ‘company’ to soothe my guilty ‘heart’, of unlimited thoughts, justifications, denials, spites, comparisons, etc.

In this private religion of self, one does not have to face the common sense practicalities/facts in this world for the reason I have so much and others have nothing. Some of these would be where I was born, my parents and grandparents wealth, my ability to be educated, my access to proper nutrition and medical expertise, the mental state of my parents while they are raising me-are they well rested, over-stressed, able to pay the bills? Also the religion I was born into and exposed to, cultural practices, and others, all have a direct effect on my ability to make money in this physical reality.

Charity is another sad excuse for us not taking responsibility for what we have created on earth. It seems that the on going status quo of charity is acceptable to most in this world. But it does not and will not solve the literal ‘hell on earth’ that is ‘life’ for millions of people. Charity does not end starvation, rape, poverty, sex-slavery, prostitution, famine, war, violence, domestic-violence, abuse etc.  What will end it ? Us, here, only us ‘here’.

Please look at the photo I have placed within this blog. Your pain is not greater than another’s pain, this is a simple statement. It is so clear, the message is clear and simple. It matters not to these children that you have some grand theory about their ‘fate’/’lot’ in life or ‘lessons’ they and you are here to learn. They are suffering this moment, they are in pain. Your thoughts are bullshit excuses to close your eyes again.

STOP STOP. Stop the mind as your self created religion, kill your ego as your created life story and birth yourself ‘here’ as life in the physical. Live what is best for all and not in self interest of ego. Of course we can end starvation, we need to implement an equal money system and build a new distribution system. It will take time and great effort.

My self religion continually tells me I am lack, not good enough for an ‘abundant’ life , people/men will always leave me,   I must be fearful of lack of money each day, I must ‘worry’ , I must obsess and I can find comfort in alcohol, pills, food and somewhat my children, I cannot trust myself, I should get a traditional ‘job’ and on and on it goes. It tells me I need to buy a cottage, it’s not fair I don’t have a cottage (although I have a home) because all my ‘peers’ have one, I should get plastic surgery, new clothes, travel, have a husband that earns more, blah, blah, blah.  Greed, jealousy, great fear; these things are a part of my self religion. Also kindness and ‘charity’ for the ‘poor unfortunates’ who have less than myself and my ‘lucky’ family. But don’t give too much, don’t leave yourself short, just a little, there, yes , you are a ‘good’ person. Now, no need to think about others, get to work to make money for myself and my family.

So, I stop my mind as my ego, I face and let go of self-created self-religion in each moment ‘here’ in each breath and I bring myself back to the physical.  I do this with the support and assistance of a group of people at Desteni.Org. I am learning to not be limited by my mind through DesteniIProcess.com online course.

It is not acceptable to exist in and as my mind, one must face ones own creation of what is here on earth today. It is our responsibility to change this world into a place where each being lives ‘best for all ‘ principals in each breath. We cannot change what we are not aware of, stop the charade, stop your self-imposed blindness, stop abdicating your responsibility and start being/living the change. Join Us!

January 2011

2011 – First Blog: My Process at Deteni

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/06/first-blog-my-process-at-desteni-journal-jan-411/

2011 – my process…SHUT UP

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/07/my-process-shut-up/

2011 – Loser and Gossip

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/loser-and-gossip/

2011 – Humiliation and the Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/humiliation-and-the-money-system/

2011 – Good Intentions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/good-intentions/

2011 – How I am not real…I change moment to moment

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/how-i-am-not-real-i-change-moment-to-moment/

2011 – My master fear shouts ‘hurry up’

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/14/my-master-fear-shouts-hurry-up/

2011 – hate and murder…it’s right there inside of me

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/hate-and-murder-its-right-there-inside-of-me/

2011 – News:  Horrible images of the dead but I am numb

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/20/news-horrible-images-of-the-dead-but-i-am-numb/

2011 – Egomania

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/23/egomania/

2011 – Fear of Standing Up

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/23/fear-of-standing-up/

2011 – A Disaplined Life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/25/a-disciplined-life/

2011 – The Existing Money System and Debt

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/28/the-existing-money-system-and-debt/

February 2011

2011 – Fear of Attack:  My Process with Desteni

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/05/fear-of-attack-my-process-with-desteni/

2011 – My Friend Pika:  Process, A First

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/my-friend-pika-process-a-first/

2011 – I Am One Vote For World Equality

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/i-am-one-vote-for-world-equality/

2011 – Self Trust & Common Sense

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/12/self-trust-common-sence/

2011 – Joy

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/14/joy/

2011 – Sugar Addiction

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/17/sugar-addiction/

2011 – Starting to Experience Life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/23/starting-to-experience-life/

2011 – Why on Earth-lyrics

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/27/why-on-earth-by-sandy-jones-and-peter-linesman/

March 2011

2011 – Dropping the Ball and Chain

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/04/dropping-the-ball-and-chain/

2011 – Exploiting Cheap Labor: Does Ignorant = Innocent?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/exploiting-cheap-labour-does-ignorant-innocent/

2011 – Comparison; Woman Against Woman

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/10/comparison-woman-against-woman/

2011 – Process: Changes

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/14/process-changes/

April 2011

2011 – Process: Facing my Fears…uh oh…Huge Step Back

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/process-facing-my-fears-uh-oh-huge-step-back/

2011 – I Fear Smoking: Self Forgiveness

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/process-facing-my-fears-uh-oh-huge-step-back/

2011 – I Fear Losing Money:  Self Forgiveness

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/process-facing-my-fears-uh-oh-huge-step-back/

2011 – Are We Not ALL Princes Among Men?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/21/are-we-all-not-princes-among-men/

May 2011

2011 – Al-Queda Recruits: What am I  Missing Here?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/01/al-queda-recruits-what-am-i-missing-here/

2011 – My Experience with the Real Estate Career Scam

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/03/my-experience-with-the-real-estate-career-sham/

2011 – Canadian Election Shocker:  Hope for future equality…in the future

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/03/canadian-election-surprise-hope-for-future-equality-in-the-future/

2011 – Why didn’t I take my Kids to Cool ‘Singalong’ Classes when They were Young?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/14/why-didnt-i-take-my-kids-to-cool-singalong-classes-when-they-were-young/

2011 – I Hate My Husband;   Anger/Blame

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/i-hate-my-husband-angerblame/

2011 – The End is Here, yes the end of BS with an Equal Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/21/the-end-is-here-yes-the-end-of-bs-with-an-equal-money-system/

2011 – Banking: Price Increases…Insatiable Greed

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/banking-price-increases-no-one-asked-me/

2011 – Sport:  Competition Destroys the Self Esteem of the large majority of our Children

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/sport-competition-destroys-the-self-esteem-of-large-majority-of-our-children/

2011 – Music:  Beyonce Is A Bully

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/music-beyonce-is-a-bully/

June 2011

2011 – Why Sex Sells

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/10/why-sex-sells/

2011 – Mind Control – Cult – Beware !

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/10/mind-control-cult-beware/

2011 – MultiNational Greed and the Ugly Result

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/11/multinational-greed-and-the-ugly-result/

2011 – Causes of Poverty-Shocking Worldwide Statistics

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/14/causes-of-poverty-worldwide-statistics-shocking/

2011 – Vanity & Me:  Self Forgiveness on the Beauty System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/24/vanity-me-process-self-forgiveness-on-the-beauty-system/

2011 – Realizations!  Fear of Aging

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/25/realizations-fear-of-aging/

July 2011

2011 – Why I Stand for Equal Money and World Equality

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/why-i-stand-for-equal-money-and-world-equality/

2011 – Emotions and Re-defining ‘Beauty’

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/02/emotions-and-re-defining-beauty/

2011 – Where ‘God’ led me:  An Exurpt from a Case Study on Alcoholism

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/17/where-god-led-me-an-exurpt-from-a-casestudyblog-on-alcoholism/

2011 – Loss:  What I now realize.  What I will now accept and what I will not accept.

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/17/loss-what-i-now-realize-what-i-will-and-will-not-accept-and-allow/

2011 – The Road To Hell is Paved With Good Intentions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/the-road-to-hell-is-paved-with-good-intentions/

2011 – Quantum Self Realizations

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/quantum-self-realizations/

August 2011

2011 – Jealousy:  My Sister got the Family Cottage

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/jealousy-my-sister-got-the-family-cottage/

2011 – Regret:  The talk with my Dad

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/16/regret-the-talk-with-my-dad/

2011 – Trigger Points:  Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/trigger-points-self-forgiveness-and-corrective-statement/

2011 – Life as Survival of the Fittest Versus Life in an Equal Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/21/life-as-survival-of-the-fittest-versus-life-within-an-equal-money-system/

2011 – Equal Money is Not Communism

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/21/equal-money-is-not-communism/

Septmeber 2011 

2011 – What Happens when I Accept an Idea of ‘God’?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/what-happens-when-i-accept-an-idea-of-god/

2011 – Experiences Keep Us Stuck

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/experiences-keep-us-stuck/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Self Sabotage:  The point of Inferiority

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/21/self-forgiveness-self-sabotage-the-point-of-inferiority/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Self Sabotage:  Assumptions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/self-forgiveness-self-sabotage-assumptions/

2011 – Self Forgiveness Book:  Childhood:  Thought Patterns

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/28/self-forgiveness-book-childhoodthought-patterns/

October  2011

2011 – Childhood Patterns:  Inhibitions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/childhood-patterns-inhibition/

2011 – Poverty & Pregnancy

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/06/poverty-and-pregnancy/

2011 – Childhood Memories:  Humiliation

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/08/childhood-memories-humiliation/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Childhood Memories:  Submissive Women

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/14/sf-childhood-memories-submissive-women/

2011- Unplanned Pregnancy & Equal Money

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/16/unplannedunwanted-pregnancy-and-equal-money/

2011 – FAQ:  Will Indigenous People Preserve their ‘Rights’ to live Outside the System?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/25/will-indigenous-people-preserve-their-rights-to-live-outside-of-the-system/

2011 – FAQ Equal Money:  Will I have to Wait in Line for Bread?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/27/faq-equal-money-will-i-have-to-wait-in-line-for-bread/

2011 – The Future of Money 2012:  Will There Be Banks in an Equal Money System?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/29/the-future-of-money-2012-will-there-be-banks-in-an-equal-money-system/

November 2011

2011 – Self Forgiveness on Childhood:  Thought Patterns:  Fear of Men

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/03/self-forgiveness-on-childhood-fear-of-men-thought-patterns/

2011 – Process:  Letting Go of my Relationship Personality

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/04/process-letting-go-of-my-relationship-personality/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:  Boyfriends

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/07/self-forgiveness-boyfriends-thought-patterns/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  High School Girlfriends

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/self-forgiveness-high-school-girlfriends/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:   Family-In-Laws

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/13/sf-thought-patterns-family-in-laws/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:  My Father’s Drinking

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/self-forgiveness-childhood-memories-thought-patterns-my-fathers-drinking/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal money System:  Are you just going to print cash?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/faq-equal-money-system-are-you-going-to-just-print-cash/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System:  Will there be Euthanasia?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/faq-equal-money-system-will-there-be-euthanasia/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  BIG (Basic Income Grant)

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/faq-equal-money-system-2020-basic-income-grant/

2011 – Process:  Fantasies of Older Men: Realizations and Self Corrective Statements

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/27/so-many-men-so-little-time-realizations-and-self-corrective-statements-re-fantasies/

December 2011

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:  Teen/Young Adult

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/memories-thought-patterns-self-forgiveness/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  No more cheap glasses that ruin your eyes!

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/faq-equal-money-system-2020-no-more-cheap-glasses-that-ruin-your-eyes/

2011 – FAQ:  The End of Weapons Production with Equal Money

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/10/faq-the-end-of-weapons-production-with-equal-money/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  No More OWS (Occupy Wall Street)

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/faq-equal-money-system-2020-no-more-owsoccupy-wall-street/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  Free World Travel

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/faq-equal-money-system-2020-free-world-travel/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  No more Deepak Chopra

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/faq-equal-money-system-2020no-more-deepak-chopra/

2011 – Self Forgiveness on Use of Sleep Aids

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/24/self-forgiveness-on-use-of-sleep-aids/

2011 – Self Forgiveness on Alcoholism

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/30/self-forgiveness-on-alcoholism/

January 2012

2012 – Self Forgiveness on ‘Happy” Childhood Memories

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/02/self-forgiveness-on-happy-childhood-memories/

2012 – Self Forgiveness As Last Life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/self-forgiveness-as-last-life/

2012 – Self Forgiveness As Another:  The Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/self-forgiveness-as-another-the-money-system/

2012 – Self Forgiveness As Another:  Parents, siblings, world systems, other

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/08/2011-self-forgiveness-as-another-parents-siblings-world-systems-other/

2012 – Self Forgiveness:  Karma

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/08/self-forgiveness-karma/

2012 – Self Forgiveness on Magic:  The Role of Time

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/self-forgiveness-on-magic-the-role-of-time/

2012 – 2012 Why I Could Hear the Desteni Message

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/2012-why-i-could-hear-the-desteni-message/

2012 – 2012 Is it more than a Prediction? Is it the End?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/2012-is-it-more-than-a-prediction-is-it-the-end/

2012 – 2012 Are you truly Alone? Where is the Savior?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/24/2012-are-you-truly-alone-where-is-the-savior/

2012 – 2012: Facing the Religion of Self

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/2012-facing-the-religion-of-self/

February 2012

2012 – 2012: What Does it Mean to Live Absolute?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/2012-what-does-it-mean-to-live-absolute/

2012 – 2012:  Will You Survive the Financial Collapse?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/2012-will-you-survive-the-financial-collapse/

2012 – Eckhart Tolle’s New Earth:  Did I take that seriously?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/21/2012-eckhart-tolles-new-earth-did-i-take-that-seriously/

2012 – History of the Interdimentional Portal

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/history-of-the-interdimentional-porta/

March 2012

2012 – Wayne Dyer’s ‘Power of Intention’ What Purpose Does it Serve?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/2012-wayne-dyers-the-power-of-intention-what-purpose-does-it-serve/

2012 – Economics: Ownership: The Lie that Kills

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/05/economics-ownership-the-lie-that-kills/

2012 – Secrets of Masturbation: Why even talk about it? Isn’t anything private anymore?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/08/secrets-of-masturbation-why-even-talk-about-this-isnt-anything-private-anymore/

2012 – ‘A Course in Miracles’ :  The miracle did nothing to improve my life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/06/2012-a-course-in-miracles-the-miracle-did-not-improve-my-life/

2012 – Voices in the Mind are Deception Not a Higher Power

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/31/voices-in-the-mind-are-deception-not-a-higher-power/

April 2012

2012 – W. Dyer:  Looking at “The Power Of Intention”

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/w-dyer-looking-at-the-power-of-intention/

2012 – Re-defining Education:  Social Develpment 1 to 6 months

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/re-education-social-development-1-to-6-months/

2012 – Healing Resentment: I’m So Pissed at My Husband!

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/healing-resentment-im-so-pissed-at-my-husband/

2012 – Sandy’s Journey To Life:  Day 1:  Resistance

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/sandys-journey-to-life-day-1-resistance/

2012 – Sandy’s Journey To Life:  Day 2:  Failed Relationships

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/sandys-journey-to-life-day-2-failed-relationships/

May 2012

2012 – Day 3:  I Hate that Rich Bitch:  Facing Jealousy, Regret, Spite

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/day-3-i-hate-that-rich-bitch-jealousy-regret-spite/

2012   Day 4: Failed Relationships: Facing My Father

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/day-4-failed-relationships-beginning-facing-my-father/

2012 – Day 5: Failed Relationships: Facing my Father 2

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/13/day-5-failed-relationships-facing-my-father-2/

2012 – Day 6: Failed Realtionships: My Mom: Being Bitchy to Store Clerks and My Partner

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/day-6-failed-relationships-my-mom/

2012 – Day 7: Facing my Father 3 : Little Girls are Inferior

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/day-7-facing-my-father-3-little-girls-are-inferior/

2012 – Day 8:  Failed Relationships: Rushing

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/23/day-8-failed-relationships-rushing/

2012 – Day 9: Personality Patterns: I Am Mom

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/26/day-9-personality-patterns-i-am-mom/

2012 – Day 10: Personality Patterns: I Am Mom the Protector

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/28/day-10-my-mom-personality-cont/

June 2012

2012 – Day 11: Mom as the possession of Worry

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/day-11-personalities-mom-as-the-possession-of-worry/

2012 – Day 12: Me as Mom: Summer Camp for the Rich

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/day-12-me-as-mom-summer-camp-for-the-rich/

2012 – Day 13: Facing Me as Mom: The Wicked Wealthy Ski Chalet

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/09/day-13-facing-personalities-mom-exclusive-ski-chalet/

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that magic-quantum time is possible. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I could handle reality in quantum time (instant manifestation of a thought or the spoken word). I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an energetic reaction of fear when I think of actually being responsible for quantum time, lol I’d have the whole world gone a ‘poof’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as and within continual timeloops as time as energy, going in circular within life as I exist in and as the mind, never slowing down enough to be a real creator of my world/reality but running in circles, no matter if I do things ‘differently’, with always the same outcome.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continually add more and more knowledge and information in and as my mind and not consider it is how I use this information-move and effect an outcome with and as it- (not whether I understand it) that is key to not ending up back at the beginning, over and over to infinity, so not really expanding, becoming, creating myself beyond what /who I am now .

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by fear 1000 times a day as I think, ‘damn, I’m getting older, I look older, I am tired because I’m older, I’m gaining weight because I’m older now, my hair is more grey, my knee hurts because of my age as older, I shouldn’t do x because I am older now, the women at the school are younger, they look better, I’ll move to a smaller house with no mortgage because I’m getting older, …… ( Note: these thoughts are layered…but they are they, it is indeed extensive!) so forever being enslaved/trapped in my mind in a story, sequence of pre-programmed events of a ‘lifetime’ and never being /experiencing/creating LIFE as me , who I am ‘here’ in each breath, as one and equal to all that exist!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as a picture in a picture world and myself as a story in a timeline, as a seed with the timeline rolled up within it (taken from a Desteni vlog, lol, fascinating) and as the timeline unravels and the seed grows, it indeed has an end, and I as the story, end… who made that nasty bit up?!  Lol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the patterns my mind has trapped me into,  closed patterns, as in a circle, not really learning/growing/evolving but compromising myself more and more, letting ‘things beyond my control’ go because I am powerless, and after all people don’t like/won’t like me ‘if I’m like that ‘ as in difficult to be around because I question the way human beings exist on this planet–because I am getting older and only have so much time, and apparently ‘energy’ so I get tired more, so ‘let the young ones change the world’ too late for me’ and I abdicate my responsibility for the state of this world as a protector/stuart of this world because of a goddamn story line/timeline to which I am bound and ‘helpless’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let myself be duped by my ego and directed by fear of loss, believing in my ‘personality’, thinking, ‘I don’t want them not to like me, I’ll be lonely, unhappy, desolate, friendless and perhaps I will need them and I may become poor and homeless and OMG I NEED them, I’ll shut up.’ and so not speak up about the atrocities I see in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that time-quantum time or earth/space time-is all energy and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I cannot live without energy, I am energy, I am light’ regulating the movement of and as knowledge and information / the unfolding of events in space/time within vibration=energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the system of karma, as consequence, exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have karma exist within and as me manifesting as knee pain/problems in my left knee and somewhat in my right knee as carrying the past of relationships with boyfriends and my ex-husband. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to have karma exist within and as me manifesting as knee pain/problems in my left knee and somewhat in my right knee as carrying the past of relationships with family members and friends, employers, acquaintances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to believe that karma exists and I must manifest consequence within my world as my ‘experiences’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I must face my karma at the point of death, as in spiritual ascension-to ‘go to the next level of enlightenment’- instead of facing  the consequence of my actions responsibly ‘here’ in each moment, which is common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can achieve some certain ‘vibration’ level so that I magically do not have to face my karma self honestly, in each ‘moment’ ‘here’ on earth, in a responsible way that is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not face myself in self honestly and face my fears as to why I ‘hide’ and not ‘look’ at what I have created in the moment as karma as consequence in each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want a savior/magic/god/master/husband/boss to do the dirty work for me, ‘fix’ me, so that I do not have to face myself, in self honesty, face my fears head on without hiding/in full view, face my karma all alone, so it is ‘easy’ and I can continue hiding, resulting in me forever being subject to a master/slave relationship, bound in dependency and so not living self honestly as one and equal to all other human beings and existence in it’s entirety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and to believe I am too tired, frightened, weak, small, stupid, old to face my karma by myself and to eliminate this system in each moment ‘here’, as I birth myself as life in the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and to believe I am ‘special’, important, different, deserving, more ‘enlightened’ than others, divine, because of acquired knowledge and information ,when in self honesty I am only lost in ‘delusions of grandeur’ believing I am now no longer subject to ‘The Law of Karma’ in each moment of creation as life ‘here’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear for my children and husband thinking , ‘I need to ‘save’ them because they do not know about living in self honestly ‘here’ in each moment with breath and must face their consequence as karma and manifest that consequence’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear in not trusting my process and trusting that I am a living example to my children and husband and ‘telling’ them /badgering them about the Desteni I Process only pushes them away. Instead I accept and allow myself to be patient with my  process of self realization and self awareness and through ‘standing’ in each moment in self honesty, be a living example to all human beings, in equality and not in separation as in ‘specialness’ of family system existent on earth at this time.