Posts Tagged ‘vlog’

I realized when doing muscle communication, part of my *Dip course, I have a huge resentment toward my husband. A few mornings ago I, not only reacted but over-reacted to the simple act of him turning off some lights,  first thing in the morning. Just recently I have been getting up first, now I am no longer taking any sleep medication I require much less sleep (awesome!).

When my husband, Alex gets up at 7am it is just getting light out so I still have the lights on and I am usually sitting at my computer.  He turned off the hall light upstairs and then came downstairs and turned off the dining room light, without asking me. I went ballistic. My justification was that, since I work at home, it was like he was in my office and how dare he make a decision that affected my ability to do my work.

I felt guilty about my over-reaction. I also brought into the ‘fight’ that he and his daughter are inconsiderate by leaving their personal belongings all over the house, not cleaning up the kitchen after themselves, etc.

I googled the difference between anger and resentment. I seems that anger is experienced in the moment-for the event that is occurring and resentment runs deeper as an emotion of anger built up over time for issues one has not dealt with let alone resolved.

What I then realized is that I am resentful towards him for not being open to moving and not being open to getting a loan so we can finish our renovations, which inhibits our ability to act should we decide to move.

We are so broke all the time, as our mortgage is large and the property tax is large as well as the bills to run the home (it is not a large home but not small either). So he is constantly turning down the heat, turning off lights etc. to reduce expenses. Although I agree with this strategy, I feel he goes to extremes about it and I want to be comfortable with small things in my home.

I believe we can live quite fine in a condo or smaller home. As well I worry that interest rates in Canada will rise (the government is warning the public this could happen at any time now) and as a consequence the housing market will crash and we will lose the equity we have in our home and end up owing more than we have, for example the value of the home drops to 100 and we owe 200. Therefore, we will not have any equity/money left to purchase a new home or even afford an apartment.

Whereas, if we moved now we would have a good sum to purchase a smaller property, even be mortgage free and thus reduce the financial stress in our lives and have money to assist our children with university, I could save to go to the Desteni Farm, he could go on a golf trip, whatever, not be cash strapped!

Thought: I hate Alex for penny pinching by turning off lights all the time and not agreeing to sell our home so we are not continually cash poor and stressed out and fighting.

Realizations: I realize Alex is doing his best to get along with me and ‘save’ our home. I realize he believes the market will subside/adjust somewhat and then slowly increase over time as we live in a ‘desirable’ location and the economy rises and falls and it will continue to do so as it did with our parents generation. I realize he thinks I adhere to some doomsday prophecy which he believes is unrealistic and I should not ‘worry’.  I realize it is my responsibility to address thoughts, feelings and emotions that come up inside of me and to communicate this calmly to another being when appropriate and not in reaction. I realize Alex loves and respects me and does intend the best for all of us as a family. I realize both he and Campbell have improved in picking up after themselves.

Acceptances & Allowances: I no longer accept and allow myself to react in anger and resentment towards Alex when he does things in the home to save money, we discuss bills, I bring up the option of moving, we are stressed before ‘payday’, the kids need money, we talk about our renovation.

Self Forgiveness:  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I hate Alex for penny pinching by turning off lights all the time and not agreeing to sell our home so we are not continually cash poor and stressed out and fighting.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be aware of each and every movement within me so as to be responsible for my thoughts, feelings and emotions and not blame Alex for what I am experiencing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge Alex as wrong and me as right, within the mind consciousness’s design of polarity thinking instead of focusing on myself and the issue so we can find a solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to harm myself by carrying issues within my human physical body by keeping silent in the moment when an issue arises, thereby creating resentment within and as me and unleashing this resentment toward someone I love and respect and causing them suffering.

Self-Corrective Application:  Whenever I go into an energetic reaction of resentment toward the thought, ‘I hate Alex for penny pinching by turning off lights all the time and not agreeing to sell our home so we are not continually cash poor and stressed out and fighting’ I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow energy as a reaction inside of me to go unnoticed and not addressed. I remind myself it is all about money (which is not even real) and we are both working and life is very expensive. I remind myself Alex is my companion whom I appreciate as he offers me endless support and company. I bring myself back to the physical and out of my mind of thought, to what is in fact real and continue breathing with awareness of each breath here. I get on with my day.

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to agree to the cycles of birth and death whereby I create new beings and enslave myself and them, to the worlds systems  and to the suppression of ourselves as expressions of life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to marry and have children so as to keep busy by adding to the mind consciousnesses systems of the family and money, creating new life to feed into this system of supposed economic growth which is deleting planet earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to agree to forget that I am being recycled into infinity, never remembering who I was in a past life and thereby never being part of the solution here on earth to our destructive, selfish, `human`nature, letting millions suffer because I am only to be concerned with the well being of myself and my little unit=family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as a reproductive unit and not life and be concerned with marrying and having children and not even getting to know who and what I am as life and having almost no time (or money) to explore my unlimited true nature as life, only being obsessed with how my hair, makeup, clothing look to attract a mate, believing I have to ‘look a certain way’ to be worthy/deserving of another’s companionship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to agree to a system of menstration, in which I bleed and suffer horrible cramping , each and every month since I was 13 years old, getting blood all over my clothing and bedding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to now endure the system of men-o-pause in which I am shutting down the reproductive part of my body, as if I am now expendable and not valued as life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to endure horrid hot flashes=night and day, sweats that make it impossible to get a good rest at night and making me tired and less productive or  able to enjoy my days.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go through this process of menopause and not be able to enjoy and make good use of time, now that my children are independent.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to notice changes in my physical body; wrinkles, sagging skin on my legs, greying hair indicating I am on my way out/dying slowly but surely and to spend time fussing and covering up my physicality instead of being life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  be possessed with thoughts, directed by fear, that I am expendable, diminishing,  busy aging and dying and not living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by defeat, helplessness, hopelessness, fear, anxiety, shame, regret in thinking I shouldn’t bother writing music, it’s too late for me, I better shut up so I don’t piss my husband off, I need his money to survive, I better not piss off my children, I may want or need their company or assistance in the future as I age.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear in thinking I am getting ugly and old and old people are shut away because it’s depressing to look at death in the face.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear and anxiety in thinking I should have plastic surgery, exercise, loose weight, color my hair, dress fashionable, so I am still valuable to my husband, as he will still want me for sex, or if he dumps me I still need to seduce another man so I better not ‘let myself go’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as old/older and continually comparing and compartmentalizing myself and others in accordance to age.

Realizations:  I realize I can be patient with myself as I learn and understand what I have agreed to and from this point on, participate in a new agreement with existence.

Self-Corrective Application:  I no longer accept and allow myself to suffocate my creativity and movement as me in each moment.   I no longer accept and allow a society/world that values youth only and it is acceptable for someone who is ‘young’ to be supported to grow and create but not an older person because of an assigned number which represents time accumulating in this world. I no longer accept and allow myself to think it is ok for a being to suffer and diminish in their physicality in this world but am in a process of investigation and discovery how we can come and go here in each moment of breath and not be slave to the construct of time and the mind of fear of death.

Whenever I am directed by fear, through the mind’s design of ego, that I am limited in anyway, but specifically in relation to living one and equal to my human physical body unconditionally (understanding it is a process I am in) I stop, I breathe. I remind myself again to be patient in my process of remaining here in each moment of breath and I bring myself out of my mind of polarities and alternate realities and back to what is real in the physical. I remind myself to be grateful for my day and get on with the task at hand.

Why even talk about this? Isn’t anything private anymore?

Well, the thing is, we are all here. If we are honest and take an assessment of our world, we see much sexual dysfunction, violence, abduction even, all around sex. Yes folks, you don’t need to die to go to hell anymore, its right here on planet earth in 2012!

Why is the world like this ? How did this happen?

So what, you ask? What does that have to do with masturbation, it is my ‘right’, it is my body, I can think what I want to ,I am not hurting anyone.

In this fascinating account, which is the free 30 minute introduction of a series of audios on masturbation, it is explained how our masturbation-how it is currently practiced by human beings- becomes a mind possession through the participation of images in our minds, our fantasies. These fantasies become an energetic addiction that ‘grow’ become more extreme to feed upon itself to satisfy the desire.  It goes on from there.

It is, indeed, not harmless to you or others. We are all connected, as we are all here.

Be good to yourself, free yourself, learn to pleasure yourself without giving up intimacy with another…and so much more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYUatzmcyDY&feature=youtu.be

Desteni.Org

EqualMoney.Org

DesteniIProcess.Com

This is another one of those ‘spiritual’ ‘self help’ books I devoured, ‘A Course in Miracles’.  It was channeled by Helen Schucman, a New York City Professor of Medical Psychology, in the late ’70’s. Just flipping through the book I am dismayed. The amount of content (600 pages, I read through 2-3 times) and the amount of deception in this book is massive. I do not suggest it was intentionally misleading. I now understand, through my association and particiaption with Desteni and the Desteni I Process, that it was her mind speaking to her.

Certain human beings in this world were pre-programmed to recite-have this information ‘come through’ from the other side, deliberately, to keep human beings infinitely screwed to believe in a ‘higher power’ and never become aware of their own ‘power’ and true unlimited nature as one and equal with the physical, as in the ‘living word’.

A point I want to make in common sense first is, although reading this book in earnest for years, nothing changed in my life, nothing of value came as a result of reading/studying it. It did nothing, in fact to practically assist my life and world in any valuable way. It did provide some ‘comfort’ that I needed, as in ‘oh well, my life sucks , I’m a total failure, but it doesn’t matter, cause apparently this world is not important. I can hold my head high because it is not materially/physically what is important, but that ‘god’ loves me and I am growing in my consciousness and learning to ascend this plane and move on to another, better existence, out there somewhere.’ Lol, it’s all about me , don’t ya know, all of these spiritual books feed our ego’s and tell us not to concern ourselves with others/our fellow man or the physical, that which we actually are and that which is really here!

Now, between being an alcoholic (sober 8 years now) and delving too far into my mind, with these spiritual books, I experienced some pretty freaky shit. Saw/expereinced several unexplainable  occurances/incidences.  I realize many will say, oh that’s ’cause you were intoxicated’. No, not while intoxicated, I am quite aware of the difference. Some of these unexplainable experiences were quite benevolent, so I did experience several ‘miracles’ however, point is …nothing happened to improve my life in any practical way.

*******************************************

Ok, so I literally just opened this book once at random. On page 388:chapter title, ‘I need do nothing’. It goes on to say:

Verse 1: “You still have too much faith in the body a source of strength. What plans do you make that do not involve its comfort or protection or enjoyment in some way? This makes the body an end and not a means in your interpretation, and this always means you still find sin attractive. No one accepts Atonement for himself who still accepts sin as his goal. You have thus not met your ONE responsibility. Atonement is not wecomed by those who prefer pain and destruction.”

WHF, so we have this crappy experience here on earth for some future event, some meeting in an alternate reality ‘heaven’ with some being we have to bow down to? My knees are pretty soar now, here on earth! What about my life and my children’s life right now, right here? My body is here, it is real, I am in it, I am it. This text is stating outright my physical body is a ‘means’ and not an end. How ridiculous, all one needs to do is the exact opposite of what the chapter title states; move! One step at a time,  one breath at a time. That, my friend, will heal our planet for real.

“I need do nothing” Well , I did nothing but exist on faith and guess what, nothing happened! As Einstein said, ‘Nothing happens until something moves’,  that is just a fact, no mumbo jumbo is going to ever change that. I needed to get my head out of the clouds and take practical steps to assist myself and my family but instead I trusted this source. It was, afterall,  ‘channeled’ so this communication/being/intelligence that came through must know something that I don’t, right?

This passage also suggests that taking care of my physical body is a ‘sin’/wrong/not what ‘god’ wants me to do and lists: comfort, protection, enjoyment as examples of this wrongdoing. This makes me furious but I will stop and breathe. Ok, people it is perfectly acceptable to want comfort, protection and enjoyment in your life and for your physicality and to take proper care of yourself, why else would life be worth living for god’s sake? Didn’t someone once say: ‘Your body is your temple’?  That makes a little more sense to me.

This stating that the body is just a means to a supposed ‘future’, greater purpose-after death- only serves to justify complacent self interest in doing nothing while others suffer needlessly, being occupied in our minds and not standing up and moving to take steps to end starvation, war, capitalism, the rape of human beings and the planet, world wide poverty, animal abuse and the many other atrocities currently taking place on earth.

The word ‘one’ was highlight. So my ‘one’ responsibility is atonement?

According to dictionary.com March 10/12: Atonement:  the doctrine concerning the reconciliation of God and humankind, especially as accomplished through the life, suffering, and death of Christ.

What a load! Let’s see how much you’re concerned with your ‘reconciliation’ with god and not the ‘comfort..protection..enjoyment’ of your body if we take away your food, your home, your safety, your money!  You would do everything in your power to get your basic needs met first before you sat crossed legged and closed your eyes and meditated/knelt and prayed to some invisible force! So when your belly is full, you have warmth and a bed, the safety of a home, money to go to the odd movie or take a vacation, and on and on, then the so-called ‘spiritualists’ vainly claim they don’t need the body. While we do not do this for another NOW, millions do not have their basic needs met in this very moment.  Shame on us.

Miracles and  spirituality are nothing but excuses for mankind to sit on it’s ass, pretend to be blind to the needs of others and worse, pretend it doesn’t matter. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil =  Be Evil.

That was just opening the book one time, at random.

Ideas and beliefs exist only in the mind and are not real. The physical is real. Get Real. Investigate DesteniIProcess.Com

If this makes sense to you, please investigate:  Desteni.Org   &   EqualMoney.Org

Join us in walking, breath by breath, towards a better life for all, in this reality, to bring heaven on earth in fact, for all equally -no ascension required- through an Equal Money System and an awareness of what we will accept and allow, on our awesome earth.

Well, it’s pretty rad, it actually means no Coach purses OR in time Coach purses for all!  Lol, I say this because I received a flyer in the mail today advertising the latest coach purse. I recall about 18 years ago a very wealthy friend defending her purchase of a $1000.oo coach purse (her therapist had told her to get over her guilt that she was ‘privileged’ and start enjoying life without the burden of guilt-and she has ever since, lol). I was dirt poor at the time but I was suppose to be ‘big’ enough for this financial gap not to bother me, nothin a few drinks couldn’t fix. So, 18 years ago they were making one thousand dollar coach purses, hence the reason I did not bother investigating this flyer further.

My point is, everyone wants quality, coach is a very high quality product so why wouldn’t anyone want a useful, practical product? To live absolute is to supply this for all who have a need for it firstly, then for all who just want one for pleasure. To live absolute would be to delete the brand name, as privately owned for profit company, as why would there be a ‘company’ label on the product, no need because no company.

Certain individuals would make this needed product, from a best for all starting point, so that the product would last ie. 50 years and the product is priced so it is attainable to all who need/want it.  Living absolute would mean the factory workers, who make the purse would be paid an equal wage as all inhabitant of this earth so they have no need to ‘fight’ for higher wages.  They would also live free of a mortgage, rent, utility bills as all necessities would be provided for freely.

Living absolute would mean the factory workers, managers, sales staff, cleaning staff, office staff, etc. would all have equal ‘ownership’ in the purse factory because there would be no ownership! Ownership not required , never was, just one of the many purposefully, confusing economic ‘realities’ of capitalism based on this well documented theory: if you throw enough shit at a wall, some of it will stick.

Can you see the beauty in living absolute?  Less fear results in less illness, results in increased cooperation, results in increased production… Let’s let the snowball of ‘best for all’ roll for awhile.  Another capitalistic lie, there is not enough to go around.

Living absolute mean no separation. So if you are me and I am you, we won’t bother about trying to manipulate

each other by suggesting my purse is better that yours or  I deserve mine and you don’t.  I won’t talk nasty about your purse behind your back because that would be me, using my mind based on  opinions and judgements. Where did I get that opinion? From my mind as a past experience, from what my parents or government told me, or from my mind as learned polarities of good/bad, better/less than, inferior/superior.  To live absolute means to shut down the mind as who and what you are and to live within/from a starting point of always asking ‘what is best for ALL?’ within each and every situation imaginable.’

Is that drastic, severe? Not to me, to me it is drastic to kidnap/hold captive  and repeatedly rape a 4 year old girl, take naked photos of her and videos so other men can jerk off. To me it is severe to starve an innocent little baby for a whole year before it dies, so it only knew suffering and agony for it’s entire ‘life’, when it was totally avoidable/not necessary BUT WE DID NOTHING.

To live absolute means no separation, you are indeed one and equal with all that exists here; humans, animals and the plant kingdom. So your father is my father, there are no separate families or government philosophies, afterall, we are the family of human kind (I use this term with some trepidation).

Why would I judge your purse (as old, unworthy, inferior, better than mine) when I could, just as easily, get one the same or a style that I prefer, if I want/need.  Everything I am saying here would be applied with and within common sense. No one would be allowed 100 coach purses as this would indicate some form of mental confusion and indicate ‘fear’ of lack (using ones mind), that results in the unwarranted act of hoarding.  This would be viewed for what it is , a mental problem that requires correction/assistance.

It may seems silly to use Coach purses as an example of what it means to live absolute but seems just as silly  as any other example to me.  Afterall, coach purses for all, truly would be heaven on earth darling!

It will be interesting to see how human beings treat each other in the probable event that the world’s financial markets do indeed, collapse.  Will they panic and pick up weapons to defend what little they have left?  Will they band together to help their neighbor? There will be much fear and chaos, that is for sure. What would I do?  What does it mean?

I don’t know all it means but I’m going to guess it would mean most-if not all-who have money invested in the stock market or bonds etc. will lose their money, the value of your home would diminish to the point of loss (you owe more than it is worth),  you lose your job, pensions would be lost.  The elite will try to control the many by insisting the world can be re-built on capitalism again but the people will have lost ‘hope’. Good, we will live without it.

So to ‘survive’ this financial collapse will not be a matter of keeping the ‘assets’ and money you have or ‘getting back’ what you have lost. To survive this you must let go of your ideas about assets/property ownership/social classes/hierarchy/ special or privileged groups of people on this planet. We will have to finally (after being forced by losing everything) embrace what Jesus said, ‘Love thy neighbor as thyself’ or vanish as a race by ensuing panic leading to war/famine/disease from our food and water.

To survive this financial collapse will take great courage and honestly, self-honesty.   Each person will have to face himself/herself self honestly, looking at where the current financial system of the world, capitalism, led us and if we really want to create that again and why.

I heard an analogy the other day, that the world was like a big monopoly board and we’re just playing ‘life’ as game.  The winners are clear now, the elite, so ok you won, you’ve got all the property, resources, toys and vacations, all the pleasure, all the pie. The rest of of lost, ok. Lets stop this game and wipe the board clean. We’ll have a break and write some new rules. This time we’ll change the rules.

I would suggest, do not vacate your home or apartment because the banks tell you to. I would not leave unless they picked me up and carried me out. I would have no where, like many, to go. I will stock pile some food, lots of water, matches, batteries and other of the typical survival kit necessities. Will it be used, who knows?

But…most importantly, I will work toward re-building a new system, a new world, which will be based on best for all principals and not who can ‘win’ at the game of life here on earth. I don’t care who can win and I will not accept and allow  a new, ‘improved’ capitalistic system to emerge from the wreckage of a financial collapse. The new world will be based on equality, in fact and not based on charity. All will live as one and equal in harmony with all life, as in nature and the animals. Separation will reign no more, there will be stillness of mind and a real/true peace on earth. Heaven on earth.

Who the hell am I to make such preposterous statements? I am one being here, who is standing up and saying ‘no more’. I am standing up with a group of people at Desteni.Org and we are proposing an Equal Money System for our planet so greed never rules as our god , ever again. If some of this rings true for you, please investigate EqualMoney.Org and join us!

January 2011

2011 – First Blog: My Process at Deteni

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/06/first-blog-my-process-at-desteni-journal-jan-411/

2011 – my process…SHUT UP

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/07/my-process-shut-up/

2011 – Loser and Gossip

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/loser-and-gossip/

2011 – Humiliation and the Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/humiliation-and-the-money-system/

2011 – Good Intentions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/good-intentions/

2011 – How I am not real…I change moment to moment

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/how-i-am-not-real-i-change-moment-to-moment/

2011 – My master fear shouts ‘hurry up’

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/14/my-master-fear-shouts-hurry-up/

2011 – hate and murder…it’s right there inside of me

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/hate-and-murder-its-right-there-inside-of-me/

2011 – News:  Horrible images of the dead but I am numb

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/20/news-horrible-images-of-the-dead-but-i-am-numb/

2011 – Egomania

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/23/egomania/

2011 – Fear of Standing Up

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/23/fear-of-standing-up/

2011 – A Disaplined Life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/25/a-disciplined-life/

2011 – The Existing Money System and Debt

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/01/28/the-existing-money-system-and-debt/

February 2011

2011 – Fear of Attack:  My Process with Desteni

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/05/fear-of-attack-my-process-with-desteni/

2011 – My Friend Pika:  Process, A First

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/my-friend-pika-process-a-first/

2011 – I Am One Vote For World Equality

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/i-am-one-vote-for-world-equality/

2011 – Self Trust & Common Sense

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/12/self-trust-common-sence/

2011 – Joy

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/14/joy/

2011 – Sugar Addiction

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/17/sugar-addiction/

2011 – Starting to Experience Life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/23/starting-to-experience-life/

2011 – Why on Earth-lyrics

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/02/27/why-on-earth-by-sandy-jones-and-peter-linesman/

March 2011

2011 – Dropping the Ball and Chain

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/04/dropping-the-ball-and-chain/

2011 – Exploiting Cheap Labor: Does Ignorant = Innocent?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/exploiting-cheap-labour-does-ignorant-innocent/

2011 – Comparison; Woman Against Woman

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/10/comparison-woman-against-woman/

2011 – Process: Changes

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/03/14/process-changes/

April 2011

2011 – Process: Facing my Fears…uh oh…Huge Step Back

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/process-facing-my-fears-uh-oh-huge-step-back/

2011 – I Fear Smoking: Self Forgiveness

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/process-facing-my-fears-uh-oh-huge-step-back/

2011 – I Fear Losing Money:  Self Forgiveness

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/process-facing-my-fears-uh-oh-huge-step-back/

2011 – Are We Not ALL Princes Among Men?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/04/21/are-we-all-not-princes-among-men/

May 2011

2011 – Al-Queda Recruits: What am I  Missing Here?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/01/al-queda-recruits-what-am-i-missing-here/

2011 – My Experience with the Real Estate Career Scam

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/03/my-experience-with-the-real-estate-career-sham/

2011 – Canadian Election Shocker:  Hope for future equality…in the future

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/03/canadian-election-surprise-hope-for-future-equality-in-the-future/

2011 – Why didn’t I take my Kids to Cool ‘Singalong’ Classes when They were Young?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/14/why-didnt-i-take-my-kids-to-cool-singalong-classes-when-they-were-young/

2011 – I Hate My Husband;   Anger/Blame

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/i-hate-my-husband-angerblame/

2011 – The End is Here, yes the end of BS with an Equal Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/21/the-end-is-here-yes-the-end-of-bs-with-an-equal-money-system/

2011 – Banking: Price Increases…Insatiable Greed

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/banking-price-increases-no-one-asked-me/

2011 – Sport:  Competition Destroys the Self Esteem of the large majority of our Children

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/sport-competition-destroys-the-self-esteem-of-large-majority-of-our-children/

2011 – Music:  Beyonce Is A Bully

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/music-beyonce-is-a-bully/

June 2011

2011 – Why Sex Sells

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/10/why-sex-sells/

2011 – Mind Control – Cult – Beware !

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/10/mind-control-cult-beware/

2011 – MultiNational Greed and the Ugly Result

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/11/multinational-greed-and-the-ugly-result/

2011 – Causes of Poverty-Shocking Worldwide Statistics

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/14/causes-of-poverty-worldwide-statistics-shocking/

2011 – Vanity & Me:  Self Forgiveness on the Beauty System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/24/vanity-me-process-self-forgiveness-on-the-beauty-system/

2011 – Realizations!  Fear of Aging

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/06/25/realizations-fear-of-aging/

July 2011

2011 – Why I Stand for Equal Money and World Equality

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/why-i-stand-for-equal-money-and-world-equality/

2011 – Emotions and Re-defining ‘Beauty’

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/02/emotions-and-re-defining-beauty/

2011 – Where ‘God’ led me:  An Exurpt from a Case Study on Alcoholism

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/17/where-god-led-me-an-exurpt-from-a-casestudyblog-on-alcoholism/

2011 – Loss:  What I now realize.  What I will now accept and what I will not accept.

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/17/loss-what-i-now-realize-what-i-will-and-will-not-accept-and-allow/

2011 – The Road To Hell is Paved With Good Intentions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/the-road-to-hell-is-paved-with-good-intentions/

2011 – Quantum Self Realizations

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/quantum-self-realizations/

August 2011

2011 – Jealousy:  My Sister got the Family Cottage

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/jealousy-my-sister-got-the-family-cottage/

2011 – Regret:  The talk with my Dad

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/16/regret-the-talk-with-my-dad/

2011 – Trigger Points:  Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/trigger-points-self-forgiveness-and-corrective-statement/

2011 – Life as Survival of the Fittest Versus Life in an Equal Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/21/life-as-survival-of-the-fittest-versus-life-within-an-equal-money-system/

2011 – Equal Money is Not Communism

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/08/21/equal-money-is-not-communism/

Septmeber 2011 

2011 – What Happens when I Accept an Idea of ‘God’?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/what-happens-when-i-accept-an-idea-of-god/

2011 – Experiences Keep Us Stuck

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/experiences-keep-us-stuck/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Self Sabotage:  The point of Inferiority

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/21/self-forgiveness-self-sabotage-the-point-of-inferiority/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Self Sabotage:  Assumptions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/self-forgiveness-self-sabotage-assumptions/

2011 – Self Forgiveness Book:  Childhood:  Thought Patterns

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/09/28/self-forgiveness-book-childhoodthought-patterns/

October  2011

2011 – Childhood Patterns:  Inhibitions

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/childhood-patterns-inhibition/

2011 – Poverty & Pregnancy

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/06/poverty-and-pregnancy/

2011 – Childhood Memories:  Humiliation

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/08/childhood-memories-humiliation/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Childhood Memories:  Submissive Women

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/14/sf-childhood-memories-submissive-women/

2011- Unplanned Pregnancy & Equal Money

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/16/unplannedunwanted-pregnancy-and-equal-money/

2011 – FAQ:  Will Indigenous People Preserve their ‘Rights’ to live Outside the System?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/25/will-indigenous-people-preserve-their-rights-to-live-outside-of-the-system/

2011 – FAQ Equal Money:  Will I have to Wait in Line for Bread?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/27/faq-equal-money-will-i-have-to-wait-in-line-for-bread/

2011 – The Future of Money 2012:  Will There Be Banks in an Equal Money System?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/10/29/the-future-of-money-2012-will-there-be-banks-in-an-equal-money-system/

November 2011

2011 – Self Forgiveness on Childhood:  Thought Patterns:  Fear of Men

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/03/self-forgiveness-on-childhood-fear-of-men-thought-patterns/

2011 – Process:  Letting Go of my Relationship Personality

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/04/process-letting-go-of-my-relationship-personality/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:  Boyfriends

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/07/self-forgiveness-boyfriends-thought-patterns/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  High School Girlfriends

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/self-forgiveness-high-school-girlfriends/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:   Family-In-Laws

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/13/sf-thought-patterns-family-in-laws/

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:  My Father’s Drinking

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/self-forgiveness-childhood-memories-thought-patterns-my-fathers-drinking/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal money System:  Are you just going to print cash?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/faq-equal-money-system-are-you-going-to-just-print-cash/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System:  Will there be Euthanasia?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/faq-equal-money-system-will-there-be-euthanasia/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  BIG (Basic Income Grant)

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/faq-equal-money-system-2020-basic-income-grant/

2011 – Process:  Fantasies of Older Men: Realizations and Self Corrective Statements

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/11/27/so-many-men-so-little-time-realizations-and-self-corrective-statements-re-fantasies/

December 2011

2011 – Self Forgiveness:  Thought Patterns:  Teen/Young Adult

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/memories-thought-patterns-self-forgiveness/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  No more cheap glasses that ruin your eyes!

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/faq-equal-money-system-2020-no-more-cheap-glasses-that-ruin-your-eyes/

2011 – FAQ:  The End of Weapons Production with Equal Money

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/10/faq-the-end-of-weapons-production-with-equal-money/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  No More OWS (Occupy Wall Street)

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/faq-equal-money-system-2020-no-more-owsoccupy-wall-street/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  Free World Travel

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/faq-equal-money-system-2020-free-world-travel/

2011 – FAQ:  Equal Money System 2020:  No more Deepak Chopra

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/faq-equal-money-system-2020no-more-deepak-chopra/

2011 – Self Forgiveness on Use of Sleep Aids

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/24/self-forgiveness-on-use-of-sleep-aids/

2011 – Self Forgiveness on Alcoholism

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2011/12/30/self-forgiveness-on-alcoholism/

January 2012

2012 – Self Forgiveness on ‘Happy” Childhood Memories

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/02/self-forgiveness-on-happy-childhood-memories/

2012 – Self Forgiveness As Last Life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/self-forgiveness-as-last-life/

2012 – Self Forgiveness As Another:  The Money System

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/self-forgiveness-as-another-the-money-system/

2012 – Self Forgiveness As Another:  Parents, siblings, world systems, other

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/08/2011-self-forgiveness-as-another-parents-siblings-world-systems-other/

2012 – Self Forgiveness:  Karma

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/08/self-forgiveness-karma/

2012 – Self Forgiveness on Magic:  The Role of Time

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/self-forgiveness-on-magic-the-role-of-time/

2012 – 2012 Why I Could Hear the Desteni Message

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/2012-why-i-could-hear-the-desteni-message/

2012 – 2012 Is it more than a Prediction? Is it the End?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/2012-is-it-more-than-a-prediction-is-it-the-end/

2012 – 2012 Are you truly Alone? Where is the Savior?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/24/2012-are-you-truly-alone-where-is-the-savior/

2012 – 2012: Facing the Religion of Self

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/2012-facing-the-religion-of-self/

February 2012

2012 – 2012: What Does it Mean to Live Absolute?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/2012-what-does-it-mean-to-live-absolute/

2012 – 2012:  Will You Survive the Financial Collapse?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/2012-will-you-survive-the-financial-collapse/

2012 – Eckhart Tolle’s New Earth:  Did I take that seriously?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/21/2012-eckhart-tolles-new-earth-did-i-take-that-seriously/

2012 – History of the Interdimentional Portal

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/history-of-the-interdimentional-porta/

March 2012

2012 – Wayne Dyer’s ‘Power of Intention’ What Purpose Does it Serve?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/2012-wayne-dyers-the-power-of-intention-what-purpose-does-it-serve/

2012 – Economics: Ownership: The Lie that Kills

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/05/economics-ownership-the-lie-that-kills/

2012 – Secrets of Masturbation: Why even talk about it? Isn’t anything private anymore?

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/08/secrets-of-masturbation-why-even-talk-about-this-isnt-anything-private-anymore/

2012 – ‘A Course in Miracles’ :  The miracle did nothing to improve my life

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/06/2012-a-course-in-miracles-the-miracle-did-not-improve-my-life/

2012 – Voices in the Mind are Deception Not a Higher Power

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/03/31/voices-in-the-mind-are-deception-not-a-higher-power/

April 2012

2012 – W. Dyer:  Looking at “The Power Of Intention”

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/w-dyer-looking-at-the-power-of-intention/

2012 – Re-defining Education:  Social Develpment 1 to 6 months

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/re-education-social-development-1-to-6-months/

2012 – Healing Resentment: I’m So Pissed at My Husband!

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/healing-resentment-im-so-pissed-at-my-husband/

2012 – Sandy’s Journey To Life:  Day 1:  Resistance

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/sandys-journey-to-life-day-1-resistance/

2012 – Sandy’s Journey To Life:  Day 2:  Failed Relationships

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/sandys-journey-to-life-day-2-failed-relationships/

May 2012

2012 – Day 3:  I Hate that Rich Bitch:  Facing Jealousy, Regret, Spite

https://sandymacgillivray.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/day-3-i-hate-that-rich-bitch-jealousy-regret-spite/

2012   Day 4: Failed Relationships: Facing My Father

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/day-4-failed-relationships-beginning-facing-my-father/

2012 – Day 5: Failed Relationships: Facing my Father 2

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/13/day-5-failed-relationships-facing-my-father-2/

2012 – Day 6: Failed Realtionships: My Mom: Being Bitchy to Store Clerks and My Partner

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/day-6-failed-relationships-my-mom/

2012 – Day 7: Facing my Father 3 : Little Girls are Inferior

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/day-7-facing-my-father-3-little-girls-are-inferior/

2012 – Day 8:  Failed Relationships: Rushing

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/23/day-8-failed-relationships-rushing/

2012 – Day 9: Personality Patterns: I Am Mom

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/26/day-9-personality-patterns-i-am-mom/

2012 – Day 10: Personality Patterns: I Am Mom the Protector

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/05/28/day-10-my-mom-personality-cont/

June 2012

2012 – Day 11: Mom as the possession of Worry

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/day-11-personalities-mom-as-the-possession-of-worry/

2012 – Day 12: Me as Mom: Summer Camp for the Rich

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/day-12-me-as-mom-summer-camp-for-the-rich/

2012 – Day 13: Facing Me as Mom: The Wicked Wealthy Ski Chalet

http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/09/day-13-facing-personalities-mom-exclusive-ski-chalet/