Secrets of Masturbation: Why even talk about this? Isn’t anything private anymore?

Why even talk about this? Isn’t anything private anymore?

Well, the thing is, we are all here. If we are honest and take an assessment of our world, we see much sexual dysfunction, violence, abduction even, all around sex. Yes folks, you don’t need to die to go to hell anymore, its right here on planet earth in 2012!

Why is the world like this ? How did this happen?

So what, you ask? What does that have to do with masturbation, it is my ‘right’, it is my body, I can think what I want to ,I am not hurting anyone.

In this fascinating account, which is the free 30 minute introduction of a series of audios on masturbation, it is explained how our masturbation-how it is currently practiced by human beings- becomes a mind possession through the participation of images in our minds, our fantasies. These fantasies become an energetic addiction that ‘grow’ become more extreme to feed upon itself to satisfy the desire.  It goes on from there.

It is, indeed, not harmless to you or others. We are all connected, as we are all here.

Be good to yourself, free yourself, learn to pleasure yourself without giving up intimacy with another…and so much more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYUatzmcyDY&feature=youtu.be

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2012 Self Forgiveness on Magic: The Role of Time

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that magic-quantum time is possible. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I could handle reality in quantum time (instant manifestation of a thought or the spoken word). I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an energetic reaction of fear when I think of actually being responsible for quantum time, lol I’d have the whole world gone a ‘poof’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as and within continual timeloops as time as energy, going in circular within life as I exist in and as the mind, never slowing down enough to be a real creator of my world/reality but running in circles, no matter if I do things ‘differently’, with always the same outcome.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continually add more and more knowledge and information in and as my mind and not consider it is how I use this information-move and effect an outcome with and as it- (not whether I understand it) that is key to not ending up back at the beginning, over and over to infinity, so not really expanding, becoming, creating myself beyond what /who I am now .

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by fear 1000 times a day as I think, ‘damn, I’m getting older, I look older, I am tired because I’m older, I’m gaining weight because I’m older now, my hair is more grey, my knee hurts because of my age as older, I shouldn’t do x because I am older now, the women at the school are younger, they look better, I’ll move to a smaller house with no mortgage because I’m getting older, …… ( Note: these thoughts are layered…but they are they, it is indeed extensive!) so forever being enslaved/trapped in my mind in a story, sequence of pre-programmed events of a ‘lifetime’ and never being /experiencing/creating LIFE as me , who I am ‘here’ in each breath, as one and equal to all that exist!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as a picture in a picture world and myself as a story in a timeline, as a seed with the timeline rolled up within it (taken from a Desteni vlog, lol, fascinating) and as the timeline unravels and the seed grows, it indeed has an end, and I as the story, end… who made that nasty bit up?!  Lol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the patterns my mind has trapped me into,  closed patterns, as in a circle, not really learning/growing/evolving but compromising myself more and more, letting ‘things beyond my control’ go because I am powerless, and after all people don’t like/won’t like me ‘if I’m like that ‘ as in difficult to be around because I question the way human beings exist on this planet–because I am getting older and only have so much time, and apparently ‘energy’ so I get tired more, so ‘let the young ones change the world’ too late for me’ and I abdicate my responsibility for the state of this world as a protector/stuart of this world because of a goddamn story line/timeline to which I am bound and ‘helpless’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let myself be duped by my ego and directed by fear of loss, believing in my ‘personality’, thinking, ‘I don’t want them not to like me, I’ll be lonely, unhappy, desolate, friendless and perhaps I will need them and I may become poor and homeless and OMG I NEED them, I’ll shut up.’ and so not speak up about the atrocities I see in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that time-quantum time or earth/space time-is all energy and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘I cannot live without energy, I am energy, I am light’ regulating the movement of and as knowledge and information / the unfolding of events in space/time within vibration=energy.

FAQ: Equal Money Sytem 2020: No More OWS (Occupy Wall Street)

No more ‘Occupy Wall Street’  form of protesting with the implementation of an Equal Money System (EMS).  As we have seen throughout history, this form of protesting does not accomplish what it sets out to do; bring about lasting and effective social change in creating a more just society.  It does make the world sit up and take notice that many people desire change for economic reform however, if a dictatorship in brought down, it is inevitably  replaced by military rule and eventually another form of dictatorship and in the democratic nations protesting on this scale has not resulted in sufficient action to change society systems  to enrich the lives of those so desperate for change.

So the lives of the average person stays the same or worsens as inflation increases, the rich still have the power and thus continue to get richer and the poor get poorer. Been there, done that and now we can buy the OWS T-shirt.

The ‘Occupy’ movements around the world have mostly been shut down, the government officials stating, ‘Ok, we tolerated your little display, now get out of the public park  and shut up. We have christmas shopping to do.’  The elite, powerful and rich do not care ‘enough’ about those who are suffering = they don’t give a shit. We have to act to enact change because they will not, they happen to like their slaves, which is ‘us’.

In an EMS no public protests will exist because all basic needs will be provided for. All will receive the same (not all look the same!), which will be all one needs; food, a home, required clothing, furnishings, all essential utilities such as heat, communication devices, transportation, education, vacation, medical services and supplies, etc. If one desires something ‘extra’ that is not a necessity, one can do physical labor to earn enough credits to acquire it!

No need to put yourself in harms way from the elements, police spraying pepper in your eyes or beating you and dragging you off to jail, government officials and the newscasters spewing nasty shit about you  just because you demand a dignified life for yourself and your family, the ‘public’ yelling at you to get off your lazy ass and get to work like the rest of them when you know damn well the cards were all stacked against you from day one and there is nothing you can do to ‘get out of jail’.

You have been heard, you are heard, please investigate EqualMoney.Org and Desteni.Org    Please join us.

Together we are millions and millions. Together we are strong. Equality IN FACT:  Nothing else is acceptable or tolerable.

FAQ: The End of Weapons Production with Equal Money

Why do we produce weapons? Because of a perception of ‘not enough’ to ‘go around’ because of the perception of ‘ownership’,  thereby the need to ‘defend’ what one has purchased, brought about by the money system. Supply and demand is controlled by the government and corporations to facilitate competition and profit, to control prices and control the ‘market’ which is you, the consumer . If we all had what we needed there would be nothing to ‘protect’ in the form of ownership, no ‘lack’ mentality, no fear for survival and  no competition. There would be no lack and therefore no need to be suspicious of each other.

The reason why there is so much manipulation and mistrust between nations is the need for survival and we use resources , technology and agriculture to trade through the exchange of  money. The current starting point is not what is best for all or coming from a place of ‘one world’ ‘one race=earthling’ but of separation through ‘differences’ in race, religion, geography, class, physical appearance. This needs to change-the starting point needs to change!

When we consider each life equally it will be natural to examine the consequences of the mass production of weapons.  Whether it is a hand gun, a muti-million dollar jet or a nuclear bomb, it is clear the intention to human life is to harm and the cost incalculable.

A hand gun could be considered to be for ‘protection’ ,yes but why do you need protection? Most likely because you fear the theft of your property or money and this is because of the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’.  Many people resort to stealing as a last resort to get money for necessities, drugs (addiction) and some through greed.  Theft cannot be tolerated but when one has everything they need it will be reduced to almost nil.

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According to an article from Global Zero.org, world spending on nuclear weapons will surpass $1 Trillion dollars per decade. That’s  $1,000,000,000.00  every 10 years. Taken from the same article:

Building upon the two definitive studies of U.S. nuclear weapons spending (Brookings Institution’s Atomic Audit: The Costs and Consequences of U.S. Nuclear Weapons Since 1940 and Carnegie Endowment for International Peace’s Nuclear Security Spending: Assessing Costs, Examining Priorities), this report casts a wider net to capture the entire world’s spending on nuclear weapons programs. The principal finding: a massive expenditure will be made over the next decade.

Chart 1: Total Military and Nuclear Weapons Spending 2010-2011  Note: figures in billions of US dollars

Source: Arms Control Association

Stop the madness, feed your brothers and sisters, house them, hold them as your own. Are we blind, have we no hearts, just bullshit at Christmas?  What would Jesus do?  Love they neighbour as theyself.  Who is going to stop the insanity of this dangerous waste of resources, money, time, ‘brain’ power, manpower and life itself– IF NOT YOU?  No one. I wish it was not true. Please investigate EqualMoney.Org.   Join Us to build a world in oneness and equality for all!

Fantasies of ‘Older’ Men : Realizations and Self Corrective Statements

Self-Corrective Statements

Realisations to be lived: I realize I have always had infatuations with male authority figures in my life, every boss I ever had. I realize I associated this figure- dominant, strong-as someone who can take care of me, abdicating my own responsibility to stand as one and equal in this world. I realize I am married and will not deceive my husband by doing anything against that which we have agreed upon, within our marriage agreement. I realize I am equal to GR and do not need to sexualize and then impose/associate/project feelings that exist within me onto him or any other ‘older’ male figure in my life. I realize my feelings are my responsibility to address within self-honesty and self-forgiveness.

Practical scripts in relation to each trigger-point:

•        Whenever I go into an energetic reaction of lust, need for excitement/wanting- like something is missing or guilt, when thinking, ‘I would love to have sex with this man’ I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself let the image of a large ‘masculine’ man act as a trigger point within me controlling my thoughts and my body. Instead I bring myself out of the mind of illusion and back to reality of the physical with each ‘here’ breath. I continue with my day.

•        Whenever I am directed by an emotion of inferiority, helplessness, hopelessness, weakness and feelings of lust and greed when I think of GR’s age as in an authority/father figure, I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to let a man’s outward appearance as in age and believing he is ‘handsome’ direct my experience ‘here’ on earth. I no longer accept and allow myself to see myself as someone who needs protection, to be taken care of  and so submit myself to sexual practices of his fancy for this protection=money. Instead I remind myself I am not my mind but a physical human being and use breath in each moment of awareness to remain with what is real. I am grateful as I continue with reality.

•        Whenever I am possess by an energetic reaction of neediness, greed, lust, at thought I would like to ‘be with/have sex with a man like GR’ I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself  ‘impressed’ influenced by the perception of one’s power, seeming commanding capable, confident but also kind and desiring to attach myself to this person because of these qualities I lack, to complete me = love. Instead I accept and allow myself to create these qualities within myself, as I am life, I create and I am in a process of self-perfection and within that be in a marriage/agreement as and offering the other to share with a whole person not a half. I bring myself back to the physical with breath, remind myself to be grateful for this moment and continue with the task at hand.

•        Whenever I am directed by lust and neediness as an energetic reaction from hearing or remembering/fantasizing about GR’s voice tonality  I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to let a sound lure me/seduce me into a feeling which causes a physical change in my body, that can harm me. Instead I remind myself I can enjoy someone’s voice in the moment when it is real and enjoy sex by –not being in my mind-but remaining ‘here’ and staying physical. I remind myself I am happily married and bring myself out of my mind and back to the physical and carry on with my day.

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Realisations to be lived:

I realize it is easy for JW to ‘look’ ‘good’ as he has lots of money so can have the best money can buy for health and well being and my husband is slogging it out living paycheque to paycheque. I realize beauty is only skin deep and fades with time for all human beings, so JW’s good looks are temporary. I realize I am attracted to the idea of cars and helicopters and exotic vacation and fun/worry free sex and not the ‘kinder/gentler‘ side of this person as I have that in my life already. I realize my fantasy about this person is totally self-interest based as I would want his money to promote my music and enjoy meeting/being entertained by all the talent he has around him.

Practical scripts in relation to each trigger-point:

Whenever I  am directed the emotions of helplessness and hopelessness , inferiority, greed  or the feelings of love and lust, need for excitement=escape my reality when thinking about /or watching JW and I am attracted to his physical appearance and age I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to be possessed by these thoughts, feelings and emotions holding me slave and taking me away from who I am in this here moment so I cannot know and express myself as life. Instead I bring my awareness back to the physical , out of my mind, and to here with my breath and focus on what is real and participate fully in my day.

Whenever I am possessed by thoughts of being with JW and I go into an energetic reaction of lust, excitement, greed, envy, competition because of my attraction to his voice, as in English accent, I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to live inside my head of fantasies and illusionary thoughts that can harm me. Instead I bring myself back ‘here’ to the physical and focus on my life-what is real-and before me. I remind myself to be grateful for my family and all I have as in food, shelter, warmth in the winter, friends and clothing.

Whenever I have thoughts that I wish I could be intimate with JW because of his poise of being calm, strong and commanding or going an energetic reaction of lust and fantasy about a life with him I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to project these perceived  ‘attractive’ qualities outward but instead  live these qualities as and within myself in self honesty and awareness. I bring myself out of my mind and back to the physical and see how I can appropriately apply these qualities practically within my life in a way that is best for all and I focus on the task at hand.

Whenever I am directed by an energetic reaction of greed and lust and fear of survival at the thought , ‘I wish I could be with JW, he is rich and famous, and my life could be relaxed and fun/exciting  and I would have time for musical expression’, I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to be controlled by fear of loss = survival, living inside my mind of thoughts, feeling and emotions forever destined to remain trapped in timeloops as my starting point is always from the past and therefore I create the past , as in lack again and again. Instead I bring myself out of my head and back ‘here’ to the physical and remind myself change in ‘space/time’ takes time and I can practice patience and trust myself. I focus on my day and continue with breath in each moment.

Whenever I am directed by and possessed by thoughts, feeling and emotions about JW’s successful music promotion and how it could help me as a songwriter I stop, I breathe. I realize that is not a reality and not possible for several reasons and a waste of my time and these feelings could harm me. I no longer accept and allow myself to live in fantasy but instead bring myself out of my mind and back to what is real , ‘here’ in the physical and walk with breath focussing on what is before me, grateful for my experience ‘here’.  

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Whenever I am directed by a feeling of excitement, sexual arousal, lust, or the emotions of fear and greed about my perceived lack of money by seeing R’s sports car or another ‘good’ looking man’s sports car I stop, I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to be limited by my minds programmed response to an expensive sports car. Instead I remind myself I am not that programmed response and I understand money is a trap and not real but a tool used for trade and it in fact causes much human suffering. I bring myself out of my mind of thoughts ‘I want him and his car for myself’ , feelings of lust and excitment , and emotions of greed and fear, knowing all these can harm me. Instead I remind myself to be grateful,l for I have all I need, but that ‘none are free until all are free’ and I get on with my day. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FAQ: Equal Money System 2020: Basic Income Grant

According to Wikipedia as of this articles date BIG, a Basic Income Grant  is “…an unconditional government-insured guarantee that all citizens will have enough income to meet their basic needs.”

It will take several years of re-education before an Equal Money system is possible in this world. As everyone will agree, many, many people are suffering horribly on earth currently. So to alleviate the suffering and allow people the opportunity to  get out of a `survival`mentality, BIG will be sufficient to stabilize ones life. In fact the  Basic Income Grant is suggested and recommended  by those who advocate for an Equal Money System.

Once a person no longer has to focus just on survival as in  shelter, food, clothing, water one can expand ones awareness to just how extensive the abuse has become on earth.  With a basic income grant cost such as and including:  rent, mortgage, electricity, heat, clean water, food, health care, clothing and transportation would be covered. This is not an equal money system but a first step towards what we will create as actual heaven on earth.

With the implementation of BIG, there will still be rich and poor, better than less than, charity, polarities of all kinds, war, abuse from those ìn power who have the wealth, no power to stop the trillions of dollars allocated to space programs, the war machine ie. fighter jets, the latest hollywood film in which the ‘star’ gets paid 10 million dollars, the baseball player signed on for 50 million dollars per year, deception, profit and loss.

Yet, it is difficult to impossible to ponder let alone participate in a solution when you are trying to survive . Perhaps you have others who are depending on you for their survival as well, children, elderly parents. You get up at dawn, work you ass off, come home to other important obligations and fall into bed knowing you are trapped, there is no money left (you`re behind in bills, debt= the biggest evilest scam of all time) for you to take a vacation with your family, buy something for the home or children.

It`s time we look at this : money is not real, its an idea, designed for trade. Well then we can re-design it since it is not working best for all . It only supports the few with a life worth living.

We all breath the same air people, we are all born with nothing on our backs. We all need to eat and we all shit! Equally. We`re just making it up as we go along. Stop. Lets re-think, re-design, WTF, how is your faith and love working. I say:  don`t shut up, stand up, stand-up now!

BIG will be a start in the right direction.  Please investigate EqualMoney.Org  &  Desteni.co.za to learn more!

FAQ: Equal Money System: Are you going to just print cash

No, in an equal money system there will not be cash that is printed. There will not be  trade as you think of it now, I give physical money and you give me a cell phone or laptop.  There will be no concern, nor exist, profit and loss as that was part of the abuse and deception that exist in this current system. Indeed, there will be no `value` placed on anything: people, animals, plants, products as the value is life-equally- and is not questioned. All that exist here on earth requires no beliefs ideas attached to it, that can be manipulated and twisted with giving a certain `value`as this is what has caused extensive suffering and abuse here. This has to end. No one has to `work at a job` or earn money` to receive all they need. The value of you as life is intrinsic, it needs no defense or justification as all deserve to have a life where they are free to explore and express themselves, not just some.

There will a system of logistics on a computerized card, similar to your credit or bank card now, that keeps track of all you have been given, which will be all you require to live a healthy, dignified existance.  This is a system of accountability so for example if you have a computer or cell phone the system would have a record of this so no one abuses and takes more than they need.

Products will be made to last, everyone will have the best quality as nothing less will be tolerated to be manufactured, grown, etc. Of course replacement and repair would be provided as needed, common sense.

We will live as equals so I would not work at making a laptop or tablet that was not of the quality I would want for myself and my family. I would not take more than I realistically need because I have no need to hoard or fear lack in the future as there will not be a `cost`as in dollar amount I need to come up with for this product or service.  There could be a situation where one does require more than one laptop or cell phone for their family, area where they `create`say manufacture a product. So, in common sense this would be provided.

To ensure no abuse is taking place there would be , as there is now, a system to check, investigate, report.

Self Forgiveness: Childhood Memories: Thought patterns: My Father’s Drinking

Unfortunately when my father drank he became a bully and his target was his children. So misguided, very sad. Totally out of the blue, I must have been about 10-12 and my sister about 15-16, ‘If either of you two sluts gets pregnant I’ll kick you from here to New York City. ‘ We lived in Toronto, Canada so that was a mighty kick. Uh, ok Dad. I mean what do you say to that? I was a virgin and had no interest in boys (or very little) at that point. I was no trouble to my parents in any way, in fact very careful to stay out of the way and ‘do everything’ right. So (I was too stunned to remember what my sister did or said) I just said nothing and did not move. I had leaned the hard way anything I said or did at that point would be wrong and attacked. I was terrified and remain still until he left. I’m sure he spewed more hatred out at us but I don’t remember the details. My sister and I were not close and my mother did not want to talk about these things, she actually did not know how. So, I was left alone to somehow ‘make it ok’, the next day he could be nice as pie  afterall, get over it(very cruel to do that to a child,’ be’ such dichotemy). I would spend alot of time alone in my bedroom delving into my mind, the start of shame, self loathing, mental sickness, and the birth of my own inner and outer bully.

Thought:  He was  insane when he drank. I hate my father, the fucking prick.

Thought pattern:  He was wrong about me, he didn’t know me. He was wrong to treat me like property, like he owned me. Like, as a kid he could do with/speak with as he fucking saw fit, with no consequences.  I knew that as a child. Why didn’t he fucking know it. He was not fit to have children. People should have to get a licence to have a child. It was cruel to be so insanely frightening and then so kind the next day, fucks a kid up, no wonder I became a drunk. God, I hope I didn’t hurt my kids . Well, I did but we have gone through it  several times since I have been sober. Thank god for AA.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, ‘ He was  insane when he drank. I hate my father, the fucking prick.’ I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought,  ‘ He was  insane when he drank. I hate my father, the fucking prick’ to exist within and as me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to    be possessed by an energetic reaction of anger, shame, inferiority, fear, hatred, guilt, confusion which triggered an onslaught of thoughts and in turn increased emotion round and round initiating with the thought,  ‘ He was  insane when he drank. I hate my father, the fucking prick.’ I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the words alcohol, father, slut, New York, sister, mother, bedroom, alone, child, abuse, stupid, bully, pregnant, sex, insane to the thought,  ‘ He was  insane when he drank. I hate my father, the fucking prick.’

Self Corrective Statement: Whenever I am directed by anger, fear, guilt, shame, hatred, or inferiority at the thought,  ‘ He was  insane when he drank. I hate my father, the fucking prick’, I stop, I breathe. I realize my father was sick in his mind and his body with alcoholism. I realize he did not want to or  plan to intentionally hurt his children. I realize he was a ‘good’ parent in other ways as he provide financially very well for us and worked very hard. I realize he felt ‘guilty’ about how he treated his children/me as he got older and did his ‘best’/in his own way to ‘say sorry’ by being a more ‘loving’ parent.  I realize my father loved/respected me later in his life and I him. I no longer accept and allow myself to be controlled by thoughts about the past. I no longer accept and allow myself to be enslaved by emotions that can harm me, accepting the ‘sins of the father’ within and as me and re-playing them in my present life and so passing them onto my children and on and on it goes. Instead I bring myself out of my mind of thoughts and emotions and back ‘here’ to the physical with breath. I accept and allow myself to remain and stop the mind with each ‘here’ moment. Sometimes it is indeed a moment to moment exercise as the mind races and insists on controlling me, I stop/delete each thought, feel my feet on the ground and continue on with the task at hand.

Self Forgiveness on Childhood: Fear of Men : Thought PATTERNS

I will start with the conscious thought I have around a certain kind of man. Although it it subsiding as I am changing and am less fearful and more self aware of how I am responsible for what occurs in my life, there is a kind of man who has frightened me alot. This man would have some or all of the following qualities: be good looking, commanding ie. ‘big’ presence/personality, big ‘talent’,  outspoken, friendly-even overly friendly, sexy, very smart, educated and well spoken, big ego, loud, center of attention, tall ususally not always, wealthy, funny, popular, fit, and muscular. I would be sexually attracted to these men, again usually and if they rejected me in any way, I would assume it was because I was a failure, I was not ‘enough’ (of something) for them and they were ‘right’.

Recently, and as recent as last night, I am becoming more aware of my ‘backchat’ which are the thoughts running continuously in your mind  (some call the ‘squirrels’ ‘gerbals running on the wheel’ ‘the committee’) . They are often vicious observations , they are memories of experiences of your past that keep playing out, supposedly protecting you /warning you but I see more and more they keep me enslaved to my mind and mind patterns.  So just for ‘fun’ I will guess some of the backchat thoughts would be; stupid prick, I fuckin’ hate men like that, he doesn’t like me, men like that never like me, i’m not pretty enough or funny enough, i’m just not enough of something , I’ll make him notice me, I hate him, stay away from him, he will humiliate you.

Thought Pattern: I hate Dr. H. (my Dad was a chiropractor and many of his friends were) He’s never nice to me. Be careful of him. He thinks your just pretty and disregards me other than that. I’m not ‘good enough’ to talk to or joke with , like he does with that girl/woman, I am not ‘good enough’ to give attention to or become friends with. If I try to talk with him he blows me off. I dont’ look good tonight. He likes her, she’s really funny and cute/beautiful/smart/rich/successful/unique, I’m just plain and average. I don’t blame him. Just talk to the other losers. They’re nice. I hate fucking men like that anyway.

thought: Men like that; smart, funny, successful, handsome, popular, powerful, don’t like me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think men who are smart funny, successful, handsome, successful, popular and powerful don’t like me. I realize it makes no difference whether someone likes me or not , I am the same in either case. I no longer accept and allow myself to be ’emotionally’ dependent on another’s opinion and interaction with me. I realize I can trust myself now and if I am not ‘comfortable’ with someone I can stay at a distance and don’t need to interact with them. I no longer accept and allow myself to judge someone if I choose not to interact with them or they choose to not interact with me.

Whenever I have the thought   ‘ Men like that; smart, funny, successful, handsome, popular, powerful, don’t like me’ I stop, I breathe. I realize I can choose who I speak to without any emotion attached to the descision. I no longer accept and allow myself to need approval from  others, I no longer accept and allow myself to be energetically charged with emotions (fear, insecurity, jealousy) that can harm me. Instead I bring myself out of my mind and back to the physical with each ‘here’ moment of breath and I remind myself I do not need to ‘feel’ popular, liked, pretty but can enjoy my own company and relax and calm down in whatever social situation I find myself in.

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A pattern I have seen, with the men in my life, is waiting up for them, worrying, obsessing over their whereabouts, safety, fidelity, intentions, and integrity. It started as a little girl pacing in my bedroom until my Dad came home. It did not matter if he was home at 3a.m. I would not sleep until he pulled in the driveway. It continued into my first marriage for many years. Today I find myself going into this pattern now and then if one of my adult children are late (when they are at home, that is).

Thought Pattern: He’s not home yet. What time is it? How many hours has he been late? I hope he hasn’t gotten into a car accident. Oh god, please bring him home safely, please let him be ok, pleeeeeeease God, I’ll do anything. What time is it? He’s drinking and driving. He’s probably drunk. Its’ a snow  storm, he could be killed or hurt. Maybe he’s fooling around. He may be unfaithful….He’s not home yet. What time is it…….

Thought: Oh God, he’s late, where is he? Something bad could happen.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to think ‘Oh God, he’s late, where is he? Something bad could happen’. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an energetic reaction of fear of loss-of father/husband/child, anxiety, self-pity, helplessness, hopelessness over the thougtht, ‘   Oh God, he’s late, where is he? Something bad could happen.’

Whenever I go into an energetic reaction of fear and anxiety over the thought, ‘Oh God, he’s late, where is he? Something bad could happen’ I stop , I breathe. I no longer accept and allow myself to waste my time on victim statements in my mind. I no longer accept and allow myself to be directed by fear of loss but instead bring myself back to the physical in that moment and realize the only thing that is real is ‘here’ in this breath. I realize I don’t control events outside of myself and I calm down and take whatever action, a phone call perhaps, is necessary or possible, I talk to someone about my concern, I watch tv if I feel it would help me until I find out what has occurred for this person to be late.

Unplanned/Unwanted Pregnancy and Equal Money

When researching pregnancy, especially in ‘developed’ countries, one of the main concerns that comes up is teen pregnancy as unwanted/unplanned pregnancy and the resulting poverty that often occurs. Often the young woman ends up raising the child herself, is from a lower income , does not have post secondary education or the funds available to pursue such which could limit her future earning potential, so she and her unborn child are vulnerable on several fronts.

There are young women in North America who romanticize the idea of having a baby, on their own or with their teen boyfriend and see it as a badge of honor or ‘a way out’. I have seen these young women on various tv shows who believe life will be different for them, they will not be ‘like their parents’. It clearly is an example of trying to repair the past/correct mistakes their parents made and thus heal themselves. It is naive but also very selfish. Some, not all, also know they will receive government funding when they have a child but they lack foresight about the struggles they will face and the constant need for money when the child arrives. Also the constant loving care a child needs will constrict their mobility greatly, one needs to be stable on many fronts; emotionally, mentally, physically and financially to raise a healthy child. Please note, I am not suggesting a person in need not receive any government assistance, that would also be irresponsible. One should provide neccessities of life for ones child. I received government subsidized daycare and a monthly baby bonus for my 2 children for many years. It was extremely helpful.

In North America, a main issue is not the pregnancy but contraseptives. This will be discussed in detail in a future blog. However, in an equal money system, there will be a huge decline in the number of  unplanned , unwanted pregnancies. Subsequently, there will be a huge decline in teen poverty, domestic violence, suicide, mental illness. One of the reasons young women get pregnant is too leave their current dometic situation/family unit where they could have been emotionally, physically abused.  They do not have the financial means to live independantly so they see starting their own family as a way out, a fresh start. No blame here, just statements.  Largely I say this because in an equal money system the implications for a society are huge. Just to focus on pregnancy for now, from a starting point of financial stability, one can breath, let go of the constant energetic reacion of fear in the stuggle for survival, where’s my next meal, working for minmum wage and just making enough to provide food and roof over your/your families head.

As an aside, it is interesting , currently you see the middle class as slaves to the rich and the elite cannot afford a vacation, are losing their homes, cannot do anything but work, living pay cheque to pay cheque,which is not life but a form of robotic existance. I’m not even touching the subject of flat out poverty- the middle class=new widening lower class-are not being quiet and remaining good litttle robots in earth’s big factory for rich-they are getting pissed off–little too much greed there-ooops!  Memo to the rich: you made a boo boo, you should have thrown us some more bones so we would continue feeding off our addiction to consumerism, it keeps us busy so we don’t notice all the millions if not billions you are hoarding.

Anyway, I digress, in an equal money society women, young women will have a real alternative to dependancy on their parents/main caregivers/boyfriend/husband. This will reduce unwanted pregnancy in all woman of child bearing years. Equal Money will also reduce the number of abortions of all women. Let me walk through this:   If one has stable income the point of building a family unit for stability and survival will be eliminated. A woman will have a real ‘choice’ to decide how they want to express themselves and contribute to their world, no longer constricted by the social situation they were born into, geography, all the various opportunities for a decent future money buys. These opportunities include: education, transportation, adequate rest/sleep because one needs to work and look after children or go to school, less stress which can lead to physical and mental illness in the form of addiction, afford a break/vacation for rest and enjoyment so life is not just about ‘getting through it’.  If they are in a current relationship they do not have to remain, they will have the means=the money to leave a unsatisfactory situation and start new life in which they can afford to house, cloth, feed, educate their children without having to ‘bend over’ compromise/prostitute themselves.